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Grandma's Controller

Helping Grandma with the TV controller

Grandma's Controller thanks to Jim Serritella

Understanding Universal Remote Controls

QuotaBills
Old age is life's parody. - Simone de Beauvoir

Imitation is the sincerest form of television. - Fred Allen

Ah, TV respects me. It laughs with me, not at me! - Homer Simpson

There is no place like home - except Grandma's. - Unknown

Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves. - Phyllis Diller

Fourty is the old age of youth; 50 is the youth of old age. - Victor Hugo

One year they wanted to make me poster boy - for birth control. - Rodney Dangerfield

Old age comes on suddenly, and not gradually as is first thought. - Emily Dickinson

Old age is the most unexpected of all things that happen to a man. - Leon Trotsky

Television is called a medium because anything good on it is rare. - Fred Allen

TV is simply a place where people go when they get tired of thinking. - Kevin Devitte

The tragedy of old age is not that one is old, but that one is young. - Oscar Wilde

Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television. - David Letterman

In youth we run into difficulties; in old age difficulties run into us. - Josh Billings

My children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced on television. - Erma Bombeck

Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch. - Cathy Carlyle

So long as there's a jingle in your head, television isn't free. - Jason Love

Advanced old age is when you sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going. - Eliakim Katz

How incessant and great are the ills with which a prolonged old age is replete. - C S Lewis

W.C. Fields has a profound respect for old age. Especially when it's bottled. - Gene Fowler

I hate television. I hate it as much as peanuts. But I can't stop eating peanuts. - Orson Welles

My fault, my failure, is not in the passions I have, but in my lack of control of them. - Jack Kerouac

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. - Will Rogers

Television has changed the American child from an irresistable force to an immovable object. - Laurence J Peter

It is difficult, when faced with a situation you cannot control, to admit you can do nothing. - Lemony Snicket

If a tie is like kissing your sister, losing is like kissing your grandmother with her teeth out. - George Brett

To keep the heart unwrinkled, to be hopeful, kindly, cheerful, reverent - that is to triumph over old age. - Thomas Bailey Aldrich

While we drink, and call for garlands, for perfumes and for maidens, old age is creeping on us unperceived. - Juvenal

One of television's great contributions is that it brought murder back into the home, where it belongs. - Alfred Hitchcock

Personal initiative is self starting and proactive; it works independently of outside influence or control. - Unknown

I don't run restaurants that are out of control. We are about establishing phenomenal footholdings with talent. - Gordon Ramsay

Yoga is invigoration in relaxation. Freedom in routine. Confidence through self control. Energy within and energy without. - Ymber Delecto

Indians are the second largest population in the world, but we're invisible on TV - everything is either black or white. - Russell Peters

We pick politicians by how they look on TV and Miss America on where she stands on the issues. Isn't that a little backwards? - Jay Leno

Nothing is a surprise to God; nothing is a setback to His plans; nothing can thwart His purposes; and nothing is beyond His control. - Joni Eareckson Tada

Learn from the past, set vivid, detailed goals for the future, and live in the only moment of time over which you have any control: now. - Denis Waitley

I put my air conditioner in backwards. It got cold outside. The weatherman on TV was confused. "It was supposed to be hot today." - Steven Wright

Old age has a great sense of calm and freedom. When the passions have relaxed their hold you have escaped, not from one master, but from many. - Plato

No one is in control of your happiness but you; therefore, you have the power to change anything about yourself or your life that you want to change. - Barbara DeAngelis

Blind dates are treacherous. You don't know who this person is. You wonder, "Should I call my grandma during coffee to get out of this?" - Alan Alda


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