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Grandma's Controller

Helping Grandma with the TV controller

Grandma's Controller thanks to Jim Serritella

Understanding Universal Remote Controls

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Old age comes at a bad time. - Sue Banducci

Old age is a wonderful disguise. - Katherine Applegate

Cherish youth, but trust old age. - Pueblo Proverb

Television is democracy at its ugliest. - Paddy Chayefsky

It's the hottest thing on television. - Donald Trump

Television has raised writing to a new low. - Samuel Goldwyn

Kids don't remember their best day of television. - Unknown

Sex on television can't hurt you - unless you fall off. - Unknown

Never have I enjoyed youth so thoroughly as I have in my old age. - George Santayana

Canadian cities looked the way American cities did on television. - William Gibson

My grandmother took a bath every year, whether she was dirty or not. - Brendan Behan

Television has brought back murder into the home... where it belongs. - Alfred Hitchcock

Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores

In youth we run into difficulties; in old age difficulties run into us. - Josh Billings

Your attitude towards anything in life is completely under your control. - Micah Lacerte

If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough. - Mario Andretti

Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him. - Groucho Marx

Jogging is for people who aren't intelligent enough to watch television. - Victoria Wood

Television: a medium. So called because it's neither rare nor well done. - Ernie Kovacs

The key to successful aging is to pay as little attention to it as possible. - Judith Regan

Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each other. - Ann Landers

In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows. - Woody Allen

Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you've got to start young. - Fred Astaire

I wanted this to be a movie on TV so I could press the off button and make it all go away. - Michelle Rowen

A conservative is someone who makes no changes and consults his grandmother when in doubt. - Woodrow Wilson

I exercise extreme self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast. - WC Fields

Old age has its pleasures, which, though different, are not less than the pleasures of youth. - W Somerset Maugham

President Ford tells us all to bite the bullet and Betsy Ford goes on TV and shoots off her mouth. - Archie Bunker

You go to your TV to turn your brain off. You go to the computer when you want to turn your brain on. - Steve Jobs

If you can't control your anger, you are as helpless as a city without walls waiting to be attacked. - Book of Proverbs

We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight. - Milton Berle

Television remote controls encourage couch potatoes to exercise their options while broadening their base. - William Arthur Ward

While we drink, and call for garlands, for perfumes and for maidens, old age is creeping on us unperceived. - Juvenal

Old age is an excellent time for outrage. My goal is to say or do at least one outrageous thing every week. - Maggie Kuhn

Our memories are card indexes consulted, and then put back in disorder, by authorities whom we do not control. - Cyril Connolly

When will I learn? The answers to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV! - Homer Simpson

There is no way you can get people to believe you on screen if they know who you really are through television. - Jack Nicholson

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain but it takes character and self control to be understanding and forgiving. - Dale Carnegie

Old age has a great sense of calm and freedom. When the passions have relaxed their hold you have escaped, not from one master, but from many. - Plato

Blind dates are treacherous. You don't know who this person is. You wonder, "Should I call my grandma during coffee to get out of this?" - Alan Alda


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