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Grandma's Remedies

How to control digestion and high blood pressure

Grandma's Remedies thanks to Mike King

Living to a ripe old age

“For better digestion, I drink beer.
In the case of appetite loss, I drink white wine.
In the case of low blood pressure, I drink red wine.
In the case of high blood pressure, I drink scotch,
and when I have a cold, I drink schnapps.”

“When do you drink water?”

“I’ve never been that sick!”

QuotaBills
I told you I was sick. - B.P. Roberts

Beer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee

I like a wine that fights back. - John Steed

Dyspupsia: Being sick as a dog. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Good wine is a necessity of life. - Thomas Jefferson

I'm not aging, I'm marinating. - Unknown

I'm so mean, I make medicine sick. - Muhammad Ali

You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker

Grammatical Error: When Grandma screws up - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick. - George Burns

Wine is the most civilized thing in the world. - Ernest Hemingway

False Doctrine: Giving people the wrong medicine - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I should never have switched from Scotch to martinis. - Humphrey Bogart

Hope is medicine for a soul that's sick and tired. - Eric Swensson

The fountain of youth is a mixture of gin and vermouth. - Cole Porter

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Wilhelm II

God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world. - Irish Saying

In a sick-room or a bed-room there should never be shutters shut. - Florence Nightingale

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

Grandma, thank you for being my anchor in this stormy sea of life. - Unknown

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. - Benjamin Franklin

We are all mortal until the first kiss and the second glass of wine. - Eduardo Galeano

Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. - Pope John XXIII

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick - not wounded - dead. - Woody Allen

It is easy to get a thousand prescriptions but hard to get one single remedy. - Chinese Proverb

Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham

Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale

I'm not sick, I'm twisted. Sick makes it sound like there's a cure! - Unknown

The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire

Poisons and medicine are oftentimes the same substance given with different intents. - Peter Mere Latham

Kidney: 1. Midpoint of a child's leg; 2. An organ used to convert beer into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The practice of medicine is a thinker's job, the practice of surgery a plumber's. - Martin H. Fischer

Why is it that everybody's suing the tobacco companies and not the alcohol companies? - Donald Trump

When a man who is drinking neat gin starts talking about his mother he is past all argument. - C.S. Forester

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire

German is the most extravagantly ugly language - it sounds like someone using a sick bag on a 747. - Willy Rushton

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me. - Hunter S Thompson

Kindness and a generous spirit go a long way. And a sense of humor. It's like medicine - very healing. - Max Irons

I have this theory that chocolate slows down the aging process. It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance? - Unknown

As a family we couldn't decide whether to have Grandma buried or cremated, so in the end we decided to let her live. - Gary Delaney

It is astonishing with how little reading a doctor can practice medicine, but is not astonishing how badly he may do it. - William Osler

The public blabbers about preventive medicine, but will neither appreciate nor pay for it. You get paid for what you cure. - Martin H. Fischer

Pride: 1. A disease that makes everyone sick but the one who has it; 2. Pride is what we have - vanity is what others have. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Lost wealth may be replaced by industry; lost knowledge by study; lost health by temperance or medicine; but lost time is gone forever. - Samuel Smiles

In those days the best painkiller was ice. It wasn't addictive, and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it. - George Burns

Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor

When you are called to a sick man, be sure you know what the matter is — if you do not know, nature can do a great deal better than you can guess. - Nicholas de Belleville

In other industries, value is defined by the ultimate stakeholder - the one who benefits, or not, from the service. We should do the same in medicine. - Dave deBronkart


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