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Grandma's Remedies

How to control digestion and high blood pressure

Grandma's Remedies thanks to Mike King

Living to a ripe old age

“For better digestion, I drink beer.
In the case of appetite loss, I drink white wine.
In the case of low blood pressure, I drink red wine.
In the case of high blood pressure, I drink scotch,
and when I have a cold, I drink schnapps.”

“When do you drink water?”

“I’ve never been that sick!”

QuotaBills
Good wine needs no vine. - French Proverb

Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken

Medicine is the best medicine. - Doctors Anonymous

When the wine is in, the wit is out. - English Proverb

I'm not aging, I'm marinating. - Unknown

Does wine count as a serving of fruit? - Joe-kster

Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

I've held silence a remedy for harm. - Aeschylus

Grammatical Error: When Grandma screws up - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Life is too short to drink the house wine. - Helen Thomas

Compromises are for relationships, not wine. - Robert S Caywood

Wine is the most civilized thing in the world. - Ernest Hemingway

Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron

As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Hard work is the best remedy for all of life's trials. - Unknown

It was 2:00 p.m., too early for wine but not for chocolate. - Andrea Hurst

I'm never sick. Why get sick? It's a waste of time. - Martha Stewart

Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction. - Bob Marley

Stop trying to make everybody happy - you're not tequila. - Unknown

Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends. - Tom Waits

In a sick-room or a bed-room there should never be shutters shut. - Florence Nightingale

Don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up. - John Wagner

I do believe that laughter is the best medicine - it cures everything. - Radhika Apte

Joy is more divine than sorrow, for joy is bread and sorrow is medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick - not wounded - dead. - Woody Allen

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley

Kidney: 1. Midpoint of a child's leg; 2. An organ used to convert beer into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I'll bring ya a bottle of champagne. Maybe I'll even bring home a whole maggot. - Archie Bunker

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

Why is it that everybody's suing the tobacco companies and not the alcohol companies? - Donald Trump

When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks. - George Burns

You can lead audiences to a half-dressed, aging pop star but you can't make them watch. - Megan Basham

I don't drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs. - Robert Downey Jr.

Grandma always made you feel she had been waiting to see you all day and now the day was complete. - Marcy DeMaree

I love being married. I was single for a long time, and I just got so sick of finishing my own sentences. - Brian Kiley

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me. - Hunter S Thompson

Most ballet teachers in the United States are terrible. If they were in medicine, everyone would be poisoned. - George Balanchine

Albert Schweitzer's philosophy is that a sick, miserable African of today can be a strong healthy cannibal tomorrow. - Joe E Lewis

Medicine is the restoration of discordant elements; sickness is the discord of the elements infused into the living body. - Leonardo da Vinci

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

Lost wealth may be replaced by industry; lost knowledge by study; lost health by temperance or medicine; but lost time is gone forever. - Samuel Smiles

Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown

When I have an idea, I turn down the flame, as if it were a little alcohol stove, as low as it will go. Then it explodes and that is my idea. - Ernest Hemingway

Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor

There are three subjects on which the knowledge of the medical profession in general is woefully weak; they are manners, morals, and medicine. - Gerald F Lieberman

The simple act of opening a bottle of wine has brought more happiness to the human race than all the collective governments in the history of earth. - Jim Harrison

In other industries, value is defined by the ultimate stakeholder - the one who benefits, or not, from the service. We should do the same in medicine. - Dave deBronkart


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