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Grandma's Remedies

How to control digestion and high blood pressure

Grandma's Remedies thanks to Mike King

Living to a ripe old age

“For better digestion, I drink beer.
In the case of appetite loss, I drink white wine.
In the case of low blood pressure, I drink red wine.
In the case of high blood pressure, I drink scotch,
and when I have a cold, I drink schnapps.”

“When do you drink water?”

“I’ve never been that sick!”

QuotaBills
Wine is bottled poetry. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Save water - drink vodka. - Unknown

Beer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee

Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling

Laughter is the best medicine. - Joe-kster

Adventure is the champagne of life. - G K Chesterton

When the wine is in, the wit is out. - English Proverb

Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder. - Addison Mizner

I'm so mean, I make medicine sick. - Muhammad Ali

Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

The best medicine is having a good wife. - Kin Hubbard

Life is too short to drink the house wine. - Helen Thomas

When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick. - George Burns

Wine is the flower in the buttonhole of life. - Werumeus Buning

Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron

Music is the wine that fills the cup of silence. - Robert Fripp

The best remedy for a short temper is a long walk. - Jacqueline Schiff

As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Drown in a vat of whiskey? Oh death, where is thy sting? - WC Fields

Drinking rum before noon makes you a pirate, not an alcoholic. - Unknown

A meal of bread, cheese, and beer constitutes the perfect food. - Queen Elizabeth I

I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. - Winston Churchill

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

The worst thing about medicine is that one kind makes another necessary. - Elbert Hubbard

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy. - Frank Sinatra

The key to successful aging is to pay as little attention to it as possible. - Judith Regan

In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life. - George Best

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

This is a sharp medicine, but it is a physician for all diseases and miseries. - Sir Walter Raleigh

Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale

I'm not sick, I'm twisted. Sick makes it sound like there's a cure! - Unknown

Logic, like whiskey, loses its beneficial effect when taken in too large quantities. - Lord Dunsany

If you want to get out of medicine the fullest enjoyment, be students all your lives. - David Riesman

Concern for someone else was a good remedy for taking the mind off one's own troubles. - Elizabeth Aston

When a man who is drinking neat gin starts talking about his mother he is past all argument. - C.S. Forester

Let your entrance into the sick room decrease, not increase, the irritability of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

I don't drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs. - Robert Downey Jr.

I'm making wine at home, but I'm making it out of raisins so it will be aged automatically. - Steven Wright

My heart, which is so full to overflowing, has often been solaced and refreshed by music when sick and weary. - Martin Luther

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno

With some diseases, like type 2 diabetes, if people get alerted early, they can take steps to avert getting sick. - Elizabeth Holmes

Milk is the drink of babies, tea the drink of women, water the drink of beasts, and wine is the drink of the gods. - John S Blackie

There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something tomorrow. - Orison Swett Marden

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine; something Brussels Sprouts never do. - P.J. O'Rourke

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe

If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - Joe-kster

In other industries, value is defined by the ultimate stakeholder - the one who benefits, or not, from the service. We should do the same in medicine. - Dave deBronkart


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