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Halloween Guard Dog

Canine Security for Halloween

Halloween Guard Dog thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Pumpkin pie fixes everything. - Unknown

Sleeping dogs bark the loudest. - Archie Bunker

Subwoofer: A dog who scuba dives - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Dogs have masters. Cats have staff. - Unknown

Zit: Command given to a spotted dog - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A hungry dog will eat dirty puddings. - Latin Proverb

My little dog - a heartbeat at my feet. - Edith Wharton

Forget Cutie, I'd rather be Pumpkin! - Unknown

A dog in desperation will leap over a wall. - Unknown

You can't teach a young dog old tricks. - Warren Buffett

Mind sees ghost when frightened and hopeless. - Toba Beta

He who lies down with dogs, rises with fleas. - English Proverb

Throw physic to the dogs; I'll none of it. - William Shakespeare

Don't think to hunt two hares with one dog. - Benjamin Franklin

A good bone does not always come to a good dog. - French Proverb

Acting is like a Halloween mask that you put on. - River Phoenix

Pants: Something a dog does and a man steps into - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It's easier to dismiss ghosts in the daylight. - Patricia Briggs

Flatterers looks like friends, as wolves like dogs. - George Chapman

One trained dog equals 60 search-and-rescue workers. - Charles Stoehr

At night, here in the library, the ghosts have voices. - Alberto Manguel

Be on your guard against a silent dog and still water. - Latin Proverb

I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too! - The Wizard of Oz

Anybody who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad. - Leo Rosten

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash

Gigantic: The biggest, scariest bug in your dog's fur - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Dogs come into our lives and leave paw prints on our hearts. - Unknown

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me. - Rodney Dangerfield

Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called "Ego". - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Happiness is coming home and knowing your dog is there to greet you. - Unknown

Misers part with nothing until they die. Then they give up the ghost. - Latin Proverb

I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me. - William Shakespeare

Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. - Joe Gores

It was a great interview process. They were fighting like cats and dogs. - Donald Trump

The idea of dying and coming back is what makes the Halloween films work. - Donald Pleasence

To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs. - Aldous Huxley

If I could be half the person my dog is, I'd be twice the human I am. - Unknown

The trees in Siberia are miles apart - that's why the dogs are so fast. - Bob Hope

The more I see of the representatives of the people, the more I admire my dogs. - Alphonse de Lamartine

My favorite word is 'pumpkin.' You are a pumpkin. Or you are not. I am. - Harrison E. Salisbury

Kilt: A costume sometimes worn by Scotsmen in America and Americans in Scotland - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow. - Jeff Valdez

Corpse pose restores life. Dead parts of your being fall away, the ghosts are released. - Unknown

Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. - Mark Twain

I get more distracted by hair or a really bad wig than I do costumes any day of the week. - Colleen Atwood

Maybe all the people who say ghosts don't exist are just afraid to admit that they do. - Michael Ende

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings? It's hardly ever for them. - Harry Hill

Message boards are like going to a Halloween masquerade party. Everybody has a screen name. - John Mackey

Don't make the mistake of treating your dogs like humans, or they'll treat you like dogs. - Martha Scott

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. - Groucho Marx

What a pity Hell's gates are not kept by O'Flynn
The surly old dog would let nobody in. - Patrick Ireland

If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do: pour a little Lavoris in the toilet. - Jay Leno

I'm suspicious of people who don't like dogs, but I trust a dog when it doesn't like a person. - Unknown

When witches go riding and black cats are seen,
The moon laughs and whispers, 'tis near Halloween. - Unknown

Ever wonder where you'd end up if you took your dog for a walk and never once pulled back on the leash? - Robert Brault

I see my face in the mirror and go, 'I'm a Halloween costume? That's what they think of me?' - Drew Carey

When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news. - John B. Bogart

My girlfriend's dog died. So I got her an identical one. She was livid; 'What am I going to do with two dead dogs?' - Gary Delaney

All Halloween candy pales next to candy corn, if only because candy corn used to appear, like the Great Pumpkin, solely on Halloween. - Rosecrans Baldwin

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain

Dogs laugh, but the laugh with their tails. What puts man in a higher state of evolution is that he has got his laugh on the right end. - Max Eastman

The light of a new day always chases the shadows of the night away, and shows us that the shape of our fears is only the ghost of our own minds. - Terry Goodkind

I love the scents of winter! For me, it's all about the feeling you get when you smell pumpkin spice, cinnamon, nutmeg, gingerbread and spruce. - Taylor Swift

Dogs display reluctance and wrath
If you try to give them a bath;
They bury bones in hideaways
And half the time they trot sideaways. - Ogden Nash


Shopping-ish

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Pickup Park

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Go Nowhere Bike

Master Reference Binder

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Car Moochanic

Wife's Small Mistake

Redneck TP

Backwards Clock

Redneck House Move

New World Record Holder

World's Hardest Golf Shot

Safe Bike

Donut Hole History

Church Flight

Jews: The Revenge

Israel Security

Breakfast In Bed

Antler Field

Redneck Stove Burner

Texas Earrings

A Man's Life