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Happy Mother's Day

Kids are even more special on Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Celebrating Mom's special day with something white

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Mother is a verb, not a noun. - Shonda Rhimes

The phrase working mother is redundant. - Jane Sellman

No man should plant more garden than his wife can hoe. - Old Saying

You're not famous until my mother has heard of you. - Jay Leno

The titular head... that's the mother, ain't it? - Archie Bunker

Air pollution is turning Mother Nature prematurely gray. - Irv Kupcinet

Being a mother is an attitude, not a biological relation. - Robert A. Heinlein

I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father. - Greg Norman

Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown

A man's mother is his misfortune, but his wife is his fault. - Walter Begehot

In my house I'm the boss. My wife is just the decision maker. - Woody Allen

If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? - George Carlin

I know enough to know that when you're in a pickle... call Mom. - Jennifer Garner

My wife likes the hockey smell because it's the smell of a warrior. - David Walton

No one else, ever, will think you're great the way your mother does. - Mary Matalin

New mother - they get a sense of waddya call, "the maternals." - Archie Bunker

Now, as always, the most automated appliance in a household is the mother. - Beverly Jones

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one. - Groucho Marx

Oh my God! Space aliens! Don't eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them! - Homer Simpson

Mother love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the impossible. - Marion C. Garretty

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night she used me to time an egg. - Rodney Dangerfield

My wife likes to talk on the phone during sex. She called me from Chicago last night. - Rodney Dangerfield

On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse. - Milton Berle

My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea. - Henny Youngman

My wife and I have a tradition of popcorn and videos with our kids on Friday evenings. - Ozwald Boateng

One of the most important things a father can do for his children is to love their mother. - Ray Chenoweth

It was partially my fault that we got divorced. I tended to place my wife under a pedestal. - Woody Allen

Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy - the mother. - Claudette Colbert

I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with 28 years ago. - Will Rogers

A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing. - Joey Adams

It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding. - Erma Bombeck

Youth fades; love droops; the leaves of friendship fall. A mother's secret hope outlives them all. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

A mother takes twenty years to make a man of her boy, and another woman makes a fool of him in twenty minutes. - Robert Frost

I love those hockey moms. You know what they say the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull is? Lipstick. - Sarah Palin

I tell ya, my wife and I, we don't think alike. She donates money to the homeless, and I donate money to the topless. - Rodney Dangerfield

I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine. - Milton Berle

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. - Sacha Guitry

Love as powerful as your mother's for you leaves its own mark ... to have been loved so deeply ... will give us some protection forever. - J K Rowling

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere. - Groucho Marx


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