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Happy Mother's Day

Kids are even more special on Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Celebrating Mom's special day with something white

QuotaBills
Mamogram: A telegram to Mom - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Grammer: Your father's mother. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Leisure is the Mother of Philosophy. - Thomas Hobbes

I'm not crazy. My mother had me tested. - Unknown

Sons are the anchors of a mother's life. - Sophocles

Necessity, who is the mother of our invention. - Plato

The best part of him ran down his mother's legs. - Jackie Gleason

Would a lion cheat on his wife? No, but a Tiger Would. - Unknown

Air pollution is turning Mother Nature prematurely gray. - Irv Kupcinet

My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex, she objects. - Les Dawson

I've never struck a woman in my life, not even my own mother. - WC Fields

If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap? - George Carlin

The story of a mother's life: trapped between a scream and a hug. - Cathy Guisewite

It's not easy being a mother. If it were easy, fathers would do it. - Dorothy

If you want to keep a secret, don't whisper in your wife's ear. - Amish Saying

My mother hated me. Once she took me to an orphanage and told me to mingle. - Phyllis Diller

The only thing a lawyer won't question is the legitimacy of his mother. - WC Fields

The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him. - Oscar Wilde

The only mothers it is safe to forget on Mother's Day are the good ones. - Mignon McLaughlin

There never was a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him asleep. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport. - Henny Youngman

There was never a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him to sleep. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well. I was amazed - I never knew they worked. - Les Dawson

My mom always said, "You'd rather have smile lines than frown lines." - Cindy Crawford

My mother is no spring chicken although she has got as many chemicals in her as one. - Edna Everage

Middle Age is the awkward period when Father Time starts catching up with Mother Nature. - Harold Coffin

Every time I try to make my marriage more exciting, my wife finds out about it right away. - Bob Monkhouse

My mom was fair. You never knew whether she was going to swing with her right or her left. - Herb Caen

Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy - the mother. - Claudette Colbert

Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day. - Jay Leno

By the time a woman realizes her mother was right, she has a daughter who thinks she's wrong. - Unknown

I married your mother because I wanted children.
Imagine my disappointment when you came along. - Groucho Marx

My wife is a real Puritan. She thinks licking the stamp on the envelope of a Valentine is foreplay. - Milton Berle

The choice to become a mother is the choice to become one of the greatest spiritual teachers there is. - Oprah Winfrey

What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife. - Rodney Dangerfield

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest. - Kin Hubbard

What my mother believed about cooking is that if you worked hard and prospered, someone else would do it for you. - Nora Ephron

The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!" - Red Skelton

I am one of those cliff-hanging Catholics. I don't believe in God, but I do believe that Mary was his mother. - Martin Sheen


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