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Happy Mother's Day

Kids are even more special on Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day thanks to Idske Mulder, The Netherlands

Celebrating Mom's special day with something white

QuotaBills
Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. - Jimmy Durante

The best part of him ran down his mother's legs. - Jackie Gleason

This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother. - Ted Walsh

Nothing is really lost until your Mom can't find it. - Unknown

I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father. - Greg Norman

A woman is attractive when she is somebody else's wife. - African Proverb

I give unto my wife my second best bed, with the furniture. - William Shakespeare

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. - Milton Berle

I'm having trouble managing the mansion. What I need is a wife. - Ella Grasso

The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. - E. Joseph Cossman

New mother - they get a sense of waddya call, "the maternals." - Archie Bunker

My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one. - Groucho Marx

Your mother's down there throwing a monkey wrench into the halls of justice. - Archie Bunker

The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. - Henry Ward Beecher

A son is a son till he takes him a wife, a daughter is a daughter all of her life. - Unknown

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases. - Milton Berle

My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance. - Tim Allen

My mother is Irish, my father is black and Venezuelan, and me - I'm tan, I guess. - Mariah Carey

One of the most important things a father can do for his children is to love their mother. - Ray Chenoweth

Every time I try to make my marriage more exciting, my wife finds out about it right away. - Bob Monkhouse

My perspective on my mother has changed immensely. She was a lot taller when I was younger. - Howie Mandel

It was partially my fault that we got divorced. I tended to place my wife under a pedestal. - Woody Allen

Basically my wife was immature. I'd be in my bath, and she'd come in and sink my boats. - Woody Allen

Said the daughter: "I don't have to help my Mom with the housework. She knows how." - Unknown

A good wife is one who can mow the lawn in the summer and put up the storm windows in the winter. - WC Fields

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire

I married your mother because I wanted children.
Imagine my disappointment when you came along. - Groucho Marx

It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding. - Erma Bombeck

Youth fades; love droops; the leaves of friendship fall. A mother's secret hope outlives them all. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend. - Rodney Dangerfield

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

A little House well fill'd, a little Field well till'd, and a little Wife well will'd, are great Riches. - Benjamin Franklin

My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates

In most homes, the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. - Evan Esar

I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine. - Milton Berle

My mother was a reader, and she read to us. She read us Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde when I was six and my brother was eight. I never forgot it. - Stephen King

The rhythm of the footsteps, the sound of whatever is coming down the ladder is driving both me and my mom steadily toward peeing our pants. - Kendare Blake

Education commences on the mother's knee, and every word spoken within hearsay of little children tends toward the formation of character. - Hosea Ballou

I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity. - Eleanor Roosevelt

Chutzpa is that quality enshrined in a man who, having killed his mother and father, throws himself on the mercy of the court because he is an orphan. - Leo Rosten


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