#1 humor site on the 'net

Her Side vs His Side

At least one of them gets a good night's sleep

Her Side vs His Side thanks to Wayne Nowazek

You even warmed up my side of the bed!

QuotaBills
A married man is a caged bird. - Spanish Proverb

One does not marry art. One ravishes it. - Edgar Degas

Cantaloupe: Got to get married in Church - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Compromises are for relationships, not wine. - Robert S Caywood

I have a great relationship with Roger Ailes. - Donald Trump

Don't marry for money; divorce for money. - Wendy Liebman

Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight. - Georg C. Lichtenberg

Make love, not war... or get married and do both. - Unknown

In married life three is company and two is none. - Oscar Wilde

Treasure your relationships, not your possessions. - Anthony J. D'Angelo

Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry. - Gloria Steinem

There's more to marriage than four bare legs in a bed. - English Proverb

Marriage is but for a little while. It is alimony that is forever. - Quentin Crisp

Marriage is better than leprosy because it's easier to get rid of. - WC Fields

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always. - Red Skelton

I was going to marry a gardener, but he was too rough around the hedges. - Unknown

Never marry anyone you could not sit next to during a three-day bus trip. - Roger Ebert

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel

Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship. - Sharon Stone

Sleeping is my drug; my bed is my dealer; and my alarm clock is the police. - Unknown

No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying. - Unknown

I don't follow trends. I make each cake for a particular wedding, or event. - Ron Ben-Israel

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. - Gloria Steinem

Love melts the rigor which the rocks have bred; a flint will break upon a feather bed. - John Cleveland

A girl who thinks that a man will treat her better after marriage than before is a fool. - William C. Hall

We learn the most from imperfect relationships - things like forgiveness and compassion. - Andrea Thompson

In bed, I'm totally impudent... (later) I got the feeling my prudence is coming back. - Archie Bunker

Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel. - Leonardo da Vinci

I'm a very committed wife. I should be committed, too, for being married so many times. - Elizabeth Taylor

First of all you’ve got to have talent. And then you've got to marry her like I did. - George Burns

A true relationship is when you can tell each other anything and everything. No secrets, no lies. - Unknown

No human being believes that any other human being has a right to be in bed when he himself is up. - Robert Lynd

If Joan of Arc could turn the tide of an entire war before her 18th birthday, you can get out of bed. - E. Jean Carroll

I have a great relationship with the blacks. I've always had a great relationship with the blacks. - Donald Trump

I love being married. I was single for a long time, and I just got so sick of finishing my own sentences. - Brian Kiley

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories. - John Wilmot

A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere. - Jay Shetty

The perfect date for me would be staying at home, making a big picnic in bed, eating Wotsits and cookies while watching cable TV. - Kim Kardashian

Every woman's dream is that a man will take her in his arms, throw her into bed... and clean the whole house while she sleeps. - Unknown

I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch." - Phyllis Diller


Tired Flagpole

Bent Car Sculpture

Cow Jacket

Thanks For Noticing

Overflow Truck Garden

Beach Sign Training

Encouraging Seal

GMC Pool

Nature Calls

You're Home Early

New Nail Gun

Long Noodles

EMS Upgrade

No Pot Of Gold

Graduation Swag

Monkeypox

Pre-Dinner Photography

Curses, Foiled Again

Ant Virus

Sidewalk Malt Melt

Bird's Eye View

Sea Girl

Lifeguard Distancing

Merry Go Motorbike