#1 humor site on the 'net

How To Burn Fat

Simple diet plan for those with a will to succeed

How To Burn Fat thanks to Liz Ward, Squamish, B.C.

Quicker than liposuction and easy to start

QuotaBills
I'm a fat anorexic. - Kiri Te Kanawa

Fat: Energy gone to waist - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A fat purse never lacks friends. - Unknown

Diets are mainly food for thought. - N Wylie Jones

It's better to burn out than fade away. - Neil Young

It's simple. If it jiggles, it's fat. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

Food is an important part of a balanced diet. - Fran Lebowitz

Content is fire and social media is gasoline. - Jay Baer

We are no more than candles burning in the wind. - Japanese Proverb

Some say the world will end in fire, some say in ice. - Robert Frost

We must rekindle the fire of idealism in our society. - Joe Biden

Thin people are beautiful, but fat people are adorable. - Jackie Gleason

People who fight fire with fire usually end up with ashes. - Abigail Van Buren

The inner fire is the most important thing mankind possesses. - Edith Sodergran

The cardiologist's diet: - If it tastes good, spit it out. - Unknown

By the time I have money to burn, my fire will have burnt out. - Unknown

I don't mind that I'm fat. You still get the same money. - Marlon Brando

She's mad but she's magic. There's no lie in her fire. - Charles Bukowski

I find there is only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people. - Rodney Dangerfield

Be enthusiastic as a leader. You can't light a fire with a wet match. - Unknown

Contentment consisteth not in adding more fuel, but in taking away some fire. - Thomas Fuller

As soon go kindle fire with snow, as seek to quench the fire of love with words. - William Shakespeare

Who ever hears of fat men heading a riot, or herding together in turbulent mobs? - Washington Irving

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

The child who is not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth. - African Proverb

Success isn't a result of spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on fire. - Arnold H Glasow

I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn't park anywhere near the place. - Steven Wright

Whenever you see darkness, there is extraordinary opportunity for the light to burn brighter. - Bono

He hath eaten me out of house and home; he hath put all my substance into that fat belly of his. - William Shakespeare

Just 'cause there's snow in the basement don't mean there ain't no fire in the roof! - Archie Bunker

Most fat food is fried. Fried food tastes great, and people don't seem to care about the fat aspect. - Eric Schlosser

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

The fire of the diamond of true identity is always there; it just needs the Master's crafting to reveal it. - Kenneth G Mills

Dieting is not a sprint, it's a marathon. If you celebrate the small victories, you will eventually win the war. - Ian K Smith

Nobody ever wrote down a plan to be broke, fat, lazy, or stupid. Those things are what happen when you don't have a plan. - Larry Winget

I cannot but bless the memory of Julius Caesar, for the great esteem he expressed for fat men; and his aversion to lean ones. - David Hume

You don't have to say everything to be a light. Sometimes a fire built on a hill will bring interested people to your campfire. - Shannon L. Alder

She's so fat she's my two best friends. She wears stretch caftans. She's got more chins than the Chinese telephone directory. - Joan Rivers

New Pasta Diet: Just walk pasta bakery without stopping. Walk pasta candy store without stopping. Walk pasta ice cream shop without stopping. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

To have a curable illness and to leave it untreated except for prayer is like sticking your hand in a fire and asking God to remove the flame. - Sandra L. Douglas


Indian Writing

Ancient Shiloh

1938 Cost Of Living

Black Olives Matter

Peckish

Awesome 'P' Door

Snake Shortener

Scientific Driving Test

Fire Engine

First Impressions

On Its Last Legs

Fire Truck

Living In A Bubble

Underwater Smoking

Burger Sale

PLZSTOP

Fawn Of You

Baby's Off Day

Trucks with 'Down' Syndrome

Swimming in the Dead Sea

Why Wear A Safety Helmet?

It's Making This Weird Noise

Awkward

German Emergency Road Share