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I'm so mean, I make medicine sick. - Muhammad Ali

Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. - Lord Byron

The No. 1 cause of bankruptcies is medical bills. - Michael Moore

Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease. - Bill Maher

The greatest healing therapy is friendship and love. - Hubert H Humphrey

After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse. - WC Fields

Whether a person is a male or female, a nurse is a nurse. - Gary Veale

If we become ill, modern medicine can work healing miracles. - Joseph B Wirthlin

Document: Repeating what your Doctor told you in your own words - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I was under medication when I made the decision not to burn the tapes. - Richard M Nixon

Joy is more divine than sorrow, for joy is bread and sorrow is medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

Chocolate is cheaper than therapy, and you don't need an appointment. - Unknown

The good-news stories in medicine are early detection, early intervention. - Thomas R Insel

No disease that can be treated by diet should be treated by any other means. - Maimonides

A hospital should also have a recovery room adjoining the cashier's office. - Francis O'Walsh

If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb

When a lot of remedies are suggested for a disease, that means it cannot be cured. - Anton Chekhov

The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire

If you want to get out of medicine the fullest enjoyment, be students all your lives. - David Riesman

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

If you get a diagnosis, get on a therapy, keep a good attitude and keep your sense of humor. - Teri Garr

People were never "living with their disease." We cured them. Or they died from it. - Neil deGrasse Tyson

I wondher why ye can always read a doctor's bill an' ye niver can read his purscription. - Finley Peter Dunne

Medicine, the only profession that labours incessantly to destroy the reason for its own existence. - James Bryce

When you’re a nurse you know that every day you will touch a life or a life will touch yours. - Unknown

When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield

My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. - Walter Matthau

Many people find themselves with illness as they become successful: higher blood pressure and diabetes. - Zong Qinghou

Some of these people need ten years of therapy - ten sentences of mine do not equal ten years of therapy. - Oscar Wilde

Most ballet teachers in the United States are terrible. If they were in medicine, everyone would be poisoned. - George Balanchine

Being in therapy is great. I spend an hour just talking about myself. It's kinda like being the guy on a date. - Caroline Rhea

The doctor may also learn more about the illness from the way the patient tells the story than from the story itself. - James B. Herrick

The worst disease which can afflict executives in their work is not, as popularly supposed, alcoholism; it's egotism. - Robert Frost

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown

Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer

In other industries, value is defined by the ultimate stakeholder - the one who benefits, or not, from the service. We should do the same in medicine. - Dave deBronkart