In Deep Water

A tear is made of 1% water and 99% feelings. - Unknown

Sometimes I drink water just to surprise my liver. - WC Fields

He was so good he would pour rose water on a toad. - Douglas Jerrold

If stress burned calories, I'd be a supermodel. - Unknown

It's hotter than a snake's ass in a wagon rut. - Robin Williams

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle. - Mitch Hedberg

Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed. - Josh Billings

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. - Mitch Hedberg

Say anything that you like about me except that I drink water. - WC Fields

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him float. - Unknown

We must have a pie. Stress cannot exist in the presence of a pie. - David Mamet

If his IQ slips any lower, we'll have to water him twice a day. - Molly Ivins

Somewhere, behind space and time,
Is wetter water, slimier slime. - Rupert Brooke

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. - WC Fields

My wife's an earth sign. I'm a water sign. Together we make mud. - Henny Youngman

Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of mental illness. - Richard Carlson

God will never give you anything you can't handle, so don't stress. - Kelly Clarkson

The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl. - Dave Barry

I finally found out how priests get holy water. They boil the hell out of it. - Joan Rivers

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

Retirement means no pressure, no stress, no heartache... unless you play golf. - Gene Perret

Don't throw away the old bucket until you know whether the new one holds water. - Swedish Proverb

A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until it's in hot water. - Eleanor Roosevelt

If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball. - Gene Jaster

Just as Jesus created wine from water, we humans are capable of transmuting emotion into music. - Carlos Santana

In times of great stress or adversity, plow your anger and your energy into something positive. - Lee Iacocca

Most whale photos you see show whales in this beautiful blue water - it's almost like space. - Brian Skerry

When the clergyman's daughter
Drinks nothing but water
She's certain to finish on gin. - Rudyard Kipling

Going without food or water will kill the body, but the lack of relationship will kill the minds and spirit. - David Jeremiah

I keep looking for one more teacher, only to find that fish learn from the water and birds learn from the sky. - Mark Nepo

Sailor: 1. A man who makes his living on water but never touches it on shore; 2. A wolf in ship's clothing. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Be ruthless about your calendar - stick to it, hell or high water but create space for unstructured time as well. - Arjun Arora

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

Transformation also means looking for ways to stop pushing yourself so hard professionally or inviting so much stress. - Gail Sheehy

I'm not just retiring from the company, I'm also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron. - Hartman Jule

Menopause is thicker than water. When we talk and laugh about it, we learn and relax. It's a life transition, not a disease. - Unknown

Take a music bath once or twice a week for a few seasons, and you will find that it is to the soul what the water bath is to the body. - Oliver Wendell Holmes

From a drop of water a logician could infer the possibility of an Atlantic or a Niagara without having seen or heard of one or the other. - Arthur Conan Doyle

Memory is a net: one finds it full of fish when he takes it from the brook, but a dozen miles of water have run through it without sticking. - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

Advice from a tree:
- Stand tall and proud
- Go out on a limb
- Remember your roots
- Drink plenty of water
- Enjoy the view - Unknown