Irish Flu Shots

Save water - drink vodka. - Unknown

Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

I'm Irish. I think about death all the time. - Jack Nicholson

Our Irish blunders are never blunders of the heart. - Maria Edgeworth

The Irish are a very popular race - with themselves. - Brendan Behan

I should never have switched from Scotch to martinis. - Humphrey Bogart

An Irish wedding is a tame thing to an Irish funeral. - Mary Deasy

The Irish ignore anything they can't drink or punch. - James Boswell

Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. - Benjamin Franklin

What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith

My Irish derivation has nothing to do with me. Why should it? - Carroll O'Connor

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

A meal of bread, cheese, and beer constitutes the perfect food. - Queen Elizabeth I

I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown

The Irish are a fair people, they never speak well of one another. - Samuel Johnson

We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English. - Winston Churchill

It is a symbol of Irish art. The cracked looking-glass of a servant. - James Joyce

Even when they have nothing, the Irish emit a kind of happiness, a joy. - Fiona Shaw

Yancy is actually a Native-American name, but I'm Irish. Go figure. - Yancy Butler

Politics is the chloroform of the Irish people, or, rather the hashish. - Oliver St. John Gogarty

Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. - Pope John XXIII

Other people have a nationality. The Irish and the Jews have a psychosis. - Brendan Behan

Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale

Under the English legal system you are innocent until you are shown to be Irish. - Ted Whitehead

If one glass of wine is good for you, just imagine what a whole bottle could do! - Unknown

If you're Irish, it doesn't matter where you go - you'll find family. - Victoria Smurfit

The English should give Ireland home rule - and reserve the motion picture rights. - Will Rogers

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

The Irish don't know what they want and are prepared to fight to the death to get it. - Sidney Littlewood

The trouble with Ireland is that it's a country full of genius, with absolutely no talent. - Hugh Leonard

Wine makes a man more pleased with himself. I do not say it makes him more pleasing to others. - Samuel Johnson

I am the indoctrinated child of two lapsed Irish Catholics. Which is to say: I am not religious. - Meghan O'Rourke

Definition of an Irish fact: That which tells you not what is the case but what you want to hear. - Hugh Kenner

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake. - WC Fields

I'm making wine at home, but I'm making it out of raisins so it will be aged automatically. - Steven Wright

Being Irish, he had an abiding sense of tragedy, which sustained him through temporary periods of joy. - William Butler Yeats

That's the Irish people all over - they treat a joke as a serious thing, and a serious thing as a joke. - Sean O'Casey

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

If one could only teach the English how to talk, and the Irish how to listen, society here would be quite civilized. - Oscar Wilde

I'd learned some things. I knew you weren't supposed to hold a good wine at the top - the paper bag falls off. - Pat Paulsen

We've never been cool, we're hot. Irish people are Italians who can't dress, Jamaicans who can't dance. - Bono

It was so quiet, a reservation kind of quiet, where you can hear somebody drinking whiskey on the rocks three miles away. - Sherman Alexie

If this humor be the safety of our race, then it is due largely to the infusion into the American people of the Irish brain. - William Howard Taft

When I have an idea, I turn down the flame, as if it were a little alcohol stove, as low as it will go. Then it explodes and that is my idea. - Ernest Hemingway

Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor

Our ancestors believed in magic, prayers, trickery, browbeating and bullying. I think it would be fair to sum that up as 'Irish politics'. - Flann O'Brien

The simple act of opening a bottle of wine has brought more happiness to the human race than all the collective governments in the history of earth. - Jim Harrison