Irish Flu Shots

Save water - drink vodka. - Unknown

Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling

I work until beer o'clock. - Stephen King

I'm Irish. We think sideways. - Spike Milligan

Wine and children speak the truth. - Greek Proverb

Adventure is the champagne of life. - G K Chesterton

When the wine is in, the wit is out. - English Proverb

Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

Compromises are for relationships, not wine. - Robert S Caywood

I should never have switched from Scotch to martinis. - Humphrey Bogart

The Irish ignore anything they can't drink or punch. - James Boswell

I've had Irish skin from the time I was a young girl. - Lara Flynn Boyle

Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown

There is no language like the Irish for soothing and quieting. - John Millington Synge

You know it's summer in Ireland when the rain gets warmer. - Hal Roach

God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world. - Irish Saying

Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends. - Tom Waits

I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown

Irish Alzheimer's - you forget everything except the grudges. - Unknown

God is good to the Irish, but no one else is; not even the Irish. - Unknown

Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

Even when they have nothing, the Irish emit a kind of happiness, a joy. - Fiona Shaw

Politics is the chloroform of the Irish people, or, rather the hashish. - Oliver St. John Gogarty

Irony: 1. Being witty at all costs; 2. A vegetarian catching swine flu. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A raise is like a martini: it elevates the spirit, but only temporarily. - Dan Seligman

I'll have a "Cafe Mocha Vodka Valium Latte" to go, please. - Unknown

I come from an Irish Catholic family, and hell-raising is part of the DNA. - Brian Dennehy

You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

I'll bring ya a bottle of champagne. Maybe I'll even bring home a whole maggot. - Archie Bunker

There are only two kinds of people in the world: the Irish and those who wish they were. - Irish Saying

I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch. - George Burns

When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks. - George Burns

The Irish do not want anyone to wish them well; they want everyone to wish their enemies ill. - Harold Nicolson

Irish boomerang: It doesn't come back, it just sings sad songs about how much it wants to. - Unknown

I think the genetics of being Irish are that you sort of prefer when it's rainy and cloudy. - Kate Flannery

Let's just say, I'm Irish. I grew up in the 1950s. Religion had a very tight iron fist. - Liam Neeson

They don't make pizza or beer out of celery. And that is all you need to know about celery. - Bill Murray

I'm making wine at home, but I'm making it out of raisins so it will be aged automatically. - Steven Wright

The problem with being Irish is having 'Riverdance' on your back. It's a burden at times. - Roddy Doyle

I have drawn inspiration from the Marine Corps, the Jewish struggle in Palestine and Israel, and the Irish. - Leon Uris

I'd learned some things. I knew you weren't supposed to hold a good wine at the top - the paper bag falls off. - Pat Paulsen

May you always walk in sunshine. May you never want for more. May Irish angels rest their wings right beside your door. - Irish Blessings

We've never been cool, we're hot. Irish people are Italians who can't dress, Jamaicans who can't dance. - Bono

The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker

Isn't it a very curious thing that St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland an' the English brought in the fleas. - Frank McCourt

I think being a woman is like being Irish. Everyone says you're important and nice, but you take second place all the same. - Iris Murdoch

The simple act of opening a bottle of wine has brought more happiness to the human race than all the collective governments in the history of earth. - Jim Harrison