#1 humor site on the 'net

Jet Nozzles

Bathroom faucets for an airplane pilot

Jet Nozzles thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Make bathroom renovations easier with engine-eered plumbing parts

QuotaBills
Man thinks and God laughs. - Yiddish Proverb

You cannot serve God and Mammon. - Bible

God made man because he loves stories. - Elie Wiesel

The prospects are bright as the promises of God. - Adoniram Judson

Humankind's ladder to God is a ladder of deeds. - Sholem Asch

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography. - Ambrose Bierce

I would believe only in a God that knows how to dance. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Sorrow looks back, Worry looks around, Faith looks up. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Forgiveness is like faith. You have to keep reviving it. - Mason Cooley

God has given you one face, and you make yourself another. - William Shakespeare

Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under. - H L Mencken

Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday. - Woody Allen

No man drowns if he perseveres in praying to God, and can swim. - Russian Proverb

Doubt isn't the opposite of faith; it is an element of faith. - Paul Tillich

I am as bad as the worst, but, thank God, I am as good as the best. - Walt Whitman

I don't believe in God because I don't believe in Mother Goose. - Clarence Darrow

Man - a creature made at the end of the week's work when God was tired. - Mark Twain

Thank God men cannot as yet fly and lay waste the sky as well as the earth. - Henry David Thoreau

What comes to mind when we think about God is the most important thing about us. - A.W. Tozer

There is forgiveness for those who seek God. And I believe in the power of redemption. - Rick Perry

I built my church on Easter services, Christmas Eve services, and Norman Vincent Peale. - Robert H. Schuller

Later, he told his nephew that religion required careful thought, not reflexive acceptance. - Thomas Jefferson

God puts you on the runway and takes you off the runway. What you do on the runway is up to you. - Unknown

How utterly terrible is the current idea that Christians can serve God at their own convenience. - AW Tozer

When God blesses you financially, don't raise your standard of living: raise your standard of giving. - Mark Batterson

We cannot embrace God's forgiveness if we are so busy clinging to past wounds and nursing old grudges. - T D Jakes

Government is the great fiction, through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else. - Frederic Bastiat

How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter? - Woody Allen

He who has learned to look to God in everything he does is at the same time diverted from all vain thoughts. - John Calvin

Bring me a worm that can comprehend a man, and then I will show you a man who can comprehend the triune God. - John Wesley

In faith there is enough light for those who want to believe and enough shadows to blind those who don't. - Blaise Pascal

Truth cannot be sacrificed at the alter of a pretended tolerance. All religions, plainly and simply, cannot be true. - Ravi Zacharias

When God decides who should live or die, he is immoral. When you decide who should live or die, it's your moral right. - Ravi Zacharias

Having faith, beliefs, and convictions is a great thing, but your life is measured by the actions you take based upon them. - Nick Vujicic

It is a press, certainly, but a press from which shall flow in inexhaustible streams... through it, God will spread his word. - Johannes Gutenberg

If I'm losing balance in a pose, I stretch higher and God reaches down to steady me. It works every time, and not just in yoga. - T. Guillemets

Our future cannot depend on the government alone. The ultimate solutions lie in the attitudes and the actions of the American people. - Joe Biden

Man has made 32 million laws since the Commandments were handed down to Moses on Mount Sinai... but he has never improved on God's law. - Cecil B. DeMille

Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy. - Norman Vincent Peale

The hallmark of religion is to distrust claims made for mortal men. It is in ages of great religious faith that great skepticism can find expression. - Malcolm Muggeridge


Extreme Value

Instant Acrophobia

How To Hire Engineers

Business School Basics

Waterwheel Rotisserie

Elephant Bus

Promote Yourself

Time Machine

Redneck Engagement Ring

Forever Clean Toilet

Edible Clock

Up-Set & Hungry Trucks

Bear Pinata

Swim Vacation

What Are Your Skills?

Portable Barber Shop

Snail Trail

Anger Release Machine

Pun-e Signs

Wake Me At Noon

Pringle Art

Lodge Welcome

Holstein or Holestein?

Dead Poirot