Jim Class

Beer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee

Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling

I'm in no shape to exercise. - Unknown

Does running late count as exercise? - Unknown

Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen

My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit. - Phyllis Diller

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker

Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body. - Joseph Addison

My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine. - Caroline Rhea

I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting. - Mark Twain

What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith

I often take exercise. Only yesterday I had breakfast in bed. - Oscar Wilde

I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw

Maybe I oughta get one of them priests in to exercise with her. - Archie Bunker

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away. - Paul Terry

Every time I feel like exercise, I lie down until the feeling passes. - Robert Hutchins

In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown

I get my exercise running to the funerals of my friends who exercise. - Barry Gray

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

Exercise is king, nutrition is queen. Put them together and you have a kingdom. - Jack LaLanne

There is no exercise better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up. - Unknown

When New Zealanders emigrate to Australia, it raises the average IQ of both countries. - Robert Muldoon

I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing. - Marsha Doble

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

The fantasy of every Australian man is to have two women - one cleaning and the other dusting. - Maurenn Murphy

I think it's an absolute disaster that Australia, the government, allowed kangaroo culling. - Steve Irwin

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

Old minds are like old horses; you must exercise them if you wish to keep them in working order. - John Adams

Every leap year I like to jump. It’s a good way to get my daily exercise in every four years. - Jarod Kintz

When governments become large, voters cannot exercise close oversight, otherwise known as political power. - Maggie Gallagher

I don't know what that gas is made of, but it can't smell any worse than Ernie Johnson 's gym bag. - Charles Barkley

Fantasy is an exercise bicycle for the mind. It might not take you anywhere, but it tones up the muscles that can. - Terry Pratchett

I still play hockey every now and then, and I still golf. But my biggest exercise is walking my big dog in the park every day. - Michael J. Fox

"Exercise" is such a dirty word in my household that whenever I even think of it, I wash my mouth out with chocolate. - Leonore Fleischer

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - Joe-kster