Jim Class

I'm in no shape to exercise. - Unknown

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker

Eat right, exercise regularly, die anyway. - Unknown

My head says gym, but my heart says donuts. - Unknown

Draft Dodger: Someone who avoids beer on tap. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Soccer: A European warm-up exercise for rioting - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I consider exercise vulgar. It makes people smell. - Alec Yuill-Thornton

I'm so unfamiliar with the gym I call it James. - Chi McBride

I am pushing sixty. That is enough exercise for me. - Mark Twain

God did not intend religion to be an exercise club. - Naguib Mahfouz

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. - Benjamin Franklin

What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Wilhelm II

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields

A meal of bread, cheese, and beer constitutes the perfect food. - Queen Elizabeth I

A good goal is like a strenuous exercise - it makes you stretch. - Mary Kay Ash

Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson

Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away. - Paul Terry

Every time I feel like exercise, I lie down until the feeling passes. - Robert M Hutchins

In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown

I get my exercise running to the funerals of my friends who exercise. - Barry Gray

Observe your dog: if he's fat, then you're not getting enough exercise. - Evan Esar

Google+ is the gym of social networking: we all join, but nobody actually uses it. - Unknown

When New Zealanders emigrate to Australia, it raises the average IQ of both countries. - Robert Muldoon

Kidney: 1. Midpoint of a child's leg; 2. An organ used to convert beer into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing. - Marsha Doble

Man should not try to avoid stress any more than he would shun food, love, or exercise. - Hans Selye

I think it's an absolute disaster that Australia, the government, allowed kangaroo culling. - Steve Irwin

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

Old minds are like old horses; you must exercise them if you wish to keep them in working order. - John Adams

The test and the use of man's education is that he finds pleasure in the exercise of his mind. - Jacques Martin Barzun

Back in my rummy days, I would tremble and shake for hours upon arising. It was the only exercise I got. - WC Fields

Television remote controls encourage couch potatoes to exercise their options while broadening their base. - William Arthur Ward

Fantasy is an exercise bicycle for the mind. It might not take you anywhere, but it tones up the muscles that can. - Terry Pratchett

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

"Exercise" is such a dirty word in my household that whenever I even think of it, I wash my mouth out with chocolate. - Leonore Fleischer

Mancation: A man's vacation. Generally includes lots of beer, a Redneck grill, slabs of meat for cooking and a sack of fireworks. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

To win back my youth... There is nothing I wouldn't do - except take exercise, get up early, or be a useful member of the community. - Oscar Wilde

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown