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Just Lettuce Know

Doing punitence @ joe-ks.com

Just Lettuce Know thanks to Martin Grosse

Pun: The lowest form of humour - unless you thought of it first

QuotaBills
A pun is the lowest form of wit. - John Dennis

The most dangerous food is wedding cake. - American Saying

Laughter is brightest where food is best. - Irish Proverb

The best food is whatever fills the belly. - Arab Proverb

My diet is like Atkins, but with the carbs. - BJ Penn

Queuing tips for fans: wrap up and bring food! - Niall Horan

I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying - dead. - Oscar Wilde

Bacon: the main reason you are not a vegetarian. - Unknown

Food tastes best when you eat it with your own spoon. - Denmark Proverb

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

A balanced diet is a Cracker Jack cookie in each hand. - Joe-kster

You are only master of food that you haven't yet eaten. - Tibet Proverb

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper

The cardiologist's diet: - If it tastes good, spit it out. - Unknown

I got food poisoning today. I don't know when I'll use it. - Steven Wright

Chemically speaking, chocolate really is the world's perfect food. - Michael Levine

If you are looking for a fly in your food, it means that you are full. - South Africa Proverb

I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks. - Totie Fields

The maxim that the "best is the cheapest" does not apply to food. - W.O. Atwater

A vegetarian is a person who won't eat anything that can have children. - David Brenner

What else is there to live for? Chinese food and women. There is nothing else! - Dudley Moore

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners. - George Mikes

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water. - WC Fields

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie. - Jim Davis

I worry about scientists discovering someday that lettuce has been fattening all along. - Erma Bombeck

The first time I tried organic wheat bread, I thought I was chewing on roofing material. - Robin Williams

So long as you have food in your mouth, you have solved all questions for the time being. - Franz Kafka

Cajun is country food by farmers and fisherman that arrived in Louisiana from Acadiana, Canada. - Paul Prudhomme

I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond. - Mae West

I'm on a strict liquid diet: Mimosas for breakfast, Margaritas for lunch, Martinis for dinner. - Unknown

Chocolate symbolizes, as does no other food, luxury, comfort, sensuality, gratification, and love. - Karl Petzke

I love to go to a movie, get a Diet Coke and a barrel of popcorn, and sit there with my kids and watch a film. - William Shatner

The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books - how not to eat what you've just learned now to cook. - Andy Rooney

A burrito is a delicious food item that breaks down all social barriers and leads to temporary spiritual enlightenment. - Lisi Harrison

I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me that they are wonderful things for other people to go on. - Jean Kerr

I like simple food, seasoned with just salt, pepper, oil and vinegar. Complicated food and complicated lives are never good. - Sirio Maccioni

If another one of my Whole Food friends says my wife should have a home birth, I am going to punch all the soy on the planet. - Patton Oswalt

I like Pirate's Booty. Prunes and olives, too. I love hummus. I can eat that until I die. I tend to eat mostly organic food. - Queen Latifah

How is it that mercury is not safe for food additives and Over the Counter drug products, but it is safe in our vaccines and dental amalgams? - Dan Burton


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