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Kickback

How to score your own goal at the FIFA World Cup

Kickback thanks to Mel Hardman

Interactive football coverage

QuotaBills
Never kick a cow chip on a hot day. - Will Rogers

There's no place in racism for football. - Gareth Thomas

Wrestlers are a bunch of wanna-be football players. - Brian Bosworth

Foosball is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs. - Mitch Hedberg

I wake up laughing every day. I get a kick out of life. - Bruce Willis

Fan Belt: What a soccer fan uses to keep his trousers up - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I played a little basketball. Some football in junior high. - Clint Eastwood

If you want to gather honey, don't kick over the beehive. - Dale Carnegie

There's no educational value in the second kick of a mule. - American saying

It is better to have died a small boy than to fumble this football. - John Heisman

All I know most surely about morality and obligations, I owe to football. - Albert Camus

We seem to want one vehicle to carry people and soccer balls and hay bales. - Franz von Holzhausen

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. - Emo Philips

The calendar and the clock are all set by football season and the off-season. - Tom Coughlin

Any jackass can kick down a barn, but it takes a good carpenter to build one. - Sam Rayburn

Gamekeeper: A soccer goalie who doesn't get upset, despite losing heavily - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Jerry Ford is a nice guy, but he played too much football with his helmet off. - Lyndon Baines Johnson

Ticket Scalper: A man who enables you to see one football game for the price of five - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein. - Joe Thiesmann

So like any football or basketball coach, you always believe you're going to win. - Colin Powell

In life, as in football, you won't go far unless you know where the goalposts are. - Arnold H Glasgow

Beauty, to me, is about being comfortable in your own skin. That, or a kick-ass red lipstick. - Gwyneth Paltrow

I asked my hairdresser what would look good on me. She says a Los Angeles Rams football helmet. - Phyllis Diller

You know how kids dream of being soccer players or actors? Well, my dream was to be a sushi chef. - Nobu Matsuhisa

Football: A sport that bears the same relation to education that bullfighting does to agriculture - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A mule will labor 10 years willingly and patiently for you, for the privilege of kicking you once. - William Faulkner

Don't let negative and toxic people rent space in your head. Raise the rent and kick them out. - Zig Ziglar

I started out as a football player. I liked to inflict pain. In basketball, it was the same thing. - Shaquille O'Neal

Eternity: 1. The last two minutes of a football game; 2. The time between you coming and her going. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If I could kick the person in the tail that causes me the most problems I could not sit down for a week. - Will Rogers

You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you. - Walt Disney

May I never be drunk enough to try to play a foosball table alone like that dude over there who actually is. - Dr. Okay Times

As a kid, you looked forward to Charlie Brown during Halloween and you looked forward to Monday Night Football. - Nick Ferguson

If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month. - Theodore Roosevelt

Kicking is very important in football. In fact, some of the more enthusiastic players even kick the ball, occasionally. - Alfred Hitchcock

Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many men on the field? - Jim Bouton

I listened to a football coach who spoke straight from the shoulder - at least I could detect no higher origin in anything he said. - Dixon R Fox

Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience members all punch and kick one another. - George Carlin

Baseball happens to be a game of cumulative tension but football, basketball and hockey are played with hand grenades and machine guns. - John Leonard

Being in politics is like being a football coach; you have to be smart enough to understand the game, and dumb enough to think it's important. - Eugene McCarthy


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