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Kickback

How to score your own goal at the FIFA World Cup

Kickback thanks to Mel Hardman

Interactive football coverage

QuotaBills
There's no place in racism for football. - Gareth Thomas

Soccer: A European warm-up exercise for rioting - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Academy: A modern school where football is taught - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Wrestlers are a bunch of wanna-be football players. - Brian Bosworth

I wake up laughing every day. I get a kick out of life. - Bruce Willis

Fan Belt: What a soccer fan uses to keep his trousers up - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Baseball is what we were, football is what we have become. - Mary McGrory

I played a little basketball. Some football in junior high. - Clint Eastwood

There's no educational value in the second kick of a mule. - American saying

All successful revolutions are the kicking in of a rotten door. - John Kenneth Galbraith

Football is a game designed to keep coal miners off the streets. - Jimmy Breslin

It is better to have died a small boy than to fumble this football. - John Heisman

Football Season: The time of the year when girls whistle at men in sweaters - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. - Emo Philips

Any jackass can kick down a barn, but it takes a good carpenter to build one. - Sam Rayburn

Gamekeeper: A soccer goalie who doesn't get upset, despite losing heavily - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Jerry Ford is a nice guy, but he played too much football with his helmet off. - Lyndon Baines Johnson

Football Game: A sport where a spectator takes four quarters to finish a fifth - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

It was a blonde. A blonde to make a bishop kick a hole in a stained glass window. - Raymond Chandler

If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead. - Erma Bombeck

So like any football or basketball coach, you always believe you're going to win. - Colin Powell

College Professor: A man who gets what's left over after the football coach is paid off - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Beauty, to me, is about being comfortable in your own skin. That, or a kick-ass red lipstick. - Gwyneth Paltrow

I asked my hairdresser what would look good on me. She says a Los Angeles Rams football helmet. - Phyllis Diller

You know how kids dream of being soccer players or actors? Well, my dream was to be a sushi chef. - Nobu Matsuhisa

Football: A sport that bears the same relation to education that bullfighting does to agriculture - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Don't let negative and toxic people rent space in your head. Raise the rent and kick them out. - Zig Ziglar

I started out as a football player. I liked to inflict pain. In basketball, it was the same thing. - Shaquille O'Neal

I don't understand American football at all. It looks like all-in wrestling with crash helmets. - Sting

Eternity: 1. The last two minutes of a football game; 2. The time between you coming and her going. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Football combines the two worst things about America: it is violence punctuated by committee meetings. - George Will

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public. - Phyllis Diller

You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you. - Walt Disney

May I never be drunk enough to try to play a foosball table alone like that dude over there who actually is. - Dr. Okay Times

As a kid, you looked forward to Charlie Brown during Halloween and you looked forward to Monday Night Football. - Nick Ferguson

If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn't sit for a month. - Theodore Roosevelt

Shoulder Pads: The part of a football player's uniform designed to make him look as fearsome as a female executive - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Kicking is very important in football. In fact, some of the more enthusiastic players even kick the ball, occasionally. - Alfred Hitchcock

Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many men on the field? - Jim Bouton

My whole body is a wreck. I've injured myself so many times with jujitsu, skateboarding, football. I guess I like to live hard. - Scott Caan


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