QuotaBillsIn wine, there is truth. - Pliny the Elder
Save water - drink vodka. - Unknown
Beer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee
Wine and children speak the truth. - Greek Proverb
Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen
When wine goes in strange things come out. - Friedrich Schiller
Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson
Good friends, like wine, get better with age. - Unknown
Step aside Coffee. This is a job for Alcohol. - Unknown
Wine is the most civilized thing in the world. - Ernest Hemingway
Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world. - Jack Nicholson
Everything's better with bacon and red wine. - Dianne Harman
Drown in a vat of whiskey? Oh death, where is thy sting? - WC Fields
If God forbade drinking, would He have made wine so good? - Cardinal Richelieu
Liquor talks mighty loud when it gets loose from the jug. - Joel C Harris
It was 2:00 p.m., too early for wine but not for chocolate. - Andrea Hurst
Some call it Cocktail Hour. To me, it's a support group. - Unknown
Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction. - Bob Marley
Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Wilhelm II
Stop trying to make everybody happy - you're not tequila. - Unknown
I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields
God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world. - Irish Saying
Memorial services are the cocktail parties of the geriatric set. - Ralph Richardson
Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends. - Tom Waits
I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown
I'll have a "Cafe Mocha Vodka Valium Latte" to go, please. - Unknown
To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems. - Homer Simpson
In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin
Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale
One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts. - Samuel Johnson
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke
Why is it that everybody's suing the tobacco companies and not the alcohol companies? - Donald Trump
My heart says chocolate and wine but my jeans say, for the love of God women, eat a salad. - Unknown
I'm like old wine. They don't bring me out very often - but I'm well preserved. - Rose Kennedy
Wine makes a man more pleased with himself. I do not say it makes him more pleasing to others. - Samuel Johnson
I don't drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs. - Robert Downey Jr.
Just as Jesus created wine from water, we humans are capable of transmuting emotion into music. - Carlos Santana
Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake. - WC Fields
I'm making wine at home, but I'm making it out of raisins so it will be aged automatically. - Steven Wright
Age is just a number. It's totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine. - Joan Collins
I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me. - Hunter S Thompson
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine
There is more refreshment and stimulation in a nap, even of the briefest, than in all the alcohol ever distilled. - Ovid
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin
We have embarked upon the world's largest and longest cocktail party, and every issue imaginable is up for grabs. - Geoffrey Moore
A woman should never be seen eating or drinking, unless it be lobster salad and Champagne, the only true feminine and becoming viands. - George G. Byron
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe
Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor
If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - Joe-kster
The simple act of opening a bottle of wine has brought more happiness to the human race than all the collective governments in the history of earth. - Jim Harrison