Lean Beer

In wine, there is the truth. - Pliny the Elder

Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling

I like a wine that fights back. - John Steed

Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker. - Ogden Nash

Does wine count as a serving of fruit? - Joe-kster

You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker

I like my whiskey old and my women young. - Errol Flynn

When wine goes in strange things come out. - Friedrich Schiller

Life is too short to drink the house wine. - Helen Thomas

Every cask smells of the wine it contains. - Spanish Proverb

We only serve fine wine. Did you bring any? - Unknown

When life hands you lemons, make whiskey sours. - WC Fields

Talking to you is like casting pearls into wine. - Archie Bunker

Everything's better with bacon and red wine. - Dianne Harman

As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

It was 2:00 p.m., too early for wine but not for chocolate. - Andrea Hurst

What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper

I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown

Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson

I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. - Winston Churchill

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. - Benjamin Franklin

Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. - Pope John XXIII

I'll have a "Cafe Mocha Vodka Valium Latte" to go, please. - Unknown

To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems. - Homer Simpson

A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world. - Louis Pasteur

In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life. - George Best

You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

I'll bring ya a bottle of champagne. Maybe I'll even bring home a whole maggot. - Archie Bunker

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

Why is it that everybody's suing the tobacco companies and not the alcohol companies? - Donald Trump

My heart says chocolate and wine but my jeans say, for the love of God women, eat a salad. - Unknown

Measure thy life by loss instead of gain, not by the wine drunk, but the wine poured forth. - Harriet King

Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine. - Fran Lebowitz

Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism. - Carl Jung

If you have to choose between drinking wine every day or being skinny, which would you choose: Red or White? - Unknown

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw

We have embarked upon the world's largest and longest cocktail party, and every issue imaginable is up for grabs. - Geoffrey Moore

The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker

It was so quiet, a reservation kind of quiet, where you can hear somebody drinking whiskey on the rocks three miles away. - Sherman Alexie

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

A woman should never be seen eating or drinking, unless it be lobster salad and Champagne, the only true feminine and becoming viands. - George G. Byron

Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown

Alcohol is not in my vodkabulary. However, I looked it up on whiskeypedia and learned if you drink too much of it, it's likely tequilya. - Unknown

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown