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Like No Udder

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QuotaBills
Gin was mother's milk to her. - George Bernard Shaw

Never kick a cow chip on a hot day. - Will Rogers

Vice-President: A cow's fifth teat. - Harry S Truman

Milk the cow but do not pull off the udder. - Greek Proverb

The thicker the hay, the easier it is mowed. - Alaric the Goth

I take my vacation on the combine and tractor. - Jon Tester

Charity is the sterilized milk of human kindness. - Oliver Herford

De-caffeinated: What a cow gets when it has a baby - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse. - Groucho Marx

Eating and reading are two pleasures that combine admirably. - C S Lewis

No farmer ever plowed a field by turning it over in his mind. - George E. Woodbury

Change is like a charging cow. Don't ignore it - milk it. - Andrew Leigh

Never cry over spilt milk, because it may have been poisoned. - WC Fields

A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor. - Unknown

I miss Irish milk. Probably not as much as Superquinn sausages. - Tristan MacManus

All the good ideas I ever had came to me while I was milking a cow. - Grant Wood

Traveling through hyperspace ain't like dusting crops, farm boy. - Han Solo

Gentleman Farmer: One who has more hay in the bank thank in the barn - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Work and pray, live on hay, you'll get pie in the sky when you die. - Joe Hill

The farmer allows walkers across the field for free, but the bull charges. - Unknown

We seem to want one vehicle to carry people and soccer balls and hay bales. - Franz von Holzhausen

A good farmer is nothing more nor less than a handyman with a sense of humus. - E.B. White

I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. - Gloria Steinem

I used to practice my speeches on my tractor while I plowed my daddy's field. - Jim Hunt

Anytime you suffer a setback or disappointment, put your head down and plow ahead. - Les Brown

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring. - Jeff Foxworthy

Let us never forget that the cultivation of the earth is the most important labor of man. - Daniel Webster

Genetic Engineering: A recent attempt to formalize what farmers have been doing all along. - Unknown

If a farmer fills his barn with grain, he gets mice; if he leaves it empty, he gets actors. - Bill Vaughan

I never said all actors are cattle; what I said was all actors should be treated like cattle. - Alfred Hitchcock

In times of great stress or adversity, plow your anger and your energy into something positive. - Lee Iacocca

The first farmer was the first man, and all historic nobility rests on possession and use of land. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

If the rain spoils our picnic, but saves a farmer's crop, who are we to say it shouldn't rain? - Tom Barrett

When we traded the buffalo for a mare, we had no milk to drink, and we still had droppings to clean up. - Punjab Proverb

If I don't work, I'll be sitting on the couch watching TV, eating popcorn and getting like a cow. - Celia Cruz

He who learns the rules of wisdom without conforming to them in his life is like a man who plows in his field but does not sow. - Saadi

When bad men combine, the good must associate; else they will fall one by one, an unpitied sacrifice in a contemptible struggle. - Edmund Burke

Woke up, it was a Chelsea morning, and the first thing that I knew
There was milk and toast and honey and a bowl of oranges, too. - Joni Mitchell

What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish. You know what you should do? Combine them, eat a penguin. - Dave Attell

The call of the yellow-billed cuckoo of North America is often mistaken for a bloodhound drinking a bowl of milk. He goes coulp coulp coulp. - Will Cuppy


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Sidetracked Baby

Breakthrough Blessings

Pauper's Graveside Service

Are You Ready?

Pulling The Wool Over Your Eyes

Girlfriends

How To Weigh Yourself Correctly

Bungee Cord Suspenders

Clogged Drain

Lum-Purr-Jack

Cookie King

Time Travel

How To Hide Candy

Little Shaver

T-Rex Breakthrough

Wise Moves

Braille in the Park

Hiker Boot Camp

Important Phone Call

Beauty of Mathematics

Deadly Facts About Water

Maybe My Job Is Not So Bad After All

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