#1 humor site on the 'net

Little Johnny Bath

Looking good for Mom and Dad

Little Johnny Bath thanks to Jim Serritella

Find out what else Little Johnny is up to

QuotaBills
Brat: A child who displays his pest manners. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Raising kids is part joy and part guerrilla warfare. - Ed Asner

Anyone who hates children and dogs can't be all bad. - WC Fields

Don't handicap your children by making their lives easy. - Robert H. Heinlein

There is never a problem child; there is only a problem parent. - A.S. Neill

No one was ever great without some portion of divine inspiration. - Cicero

Mick Jagger could French-kiss a moose. He has child-bearing lips. - Joan Rivers

Bricks may make a house, but the laughter of children makes a home. - Irish Proverb

I have very good executives and great children. They're very good. - Donald Trump

Experience is the child of thought, and thought is the child of action. - Benjamin Disraeli

Silence is golden unless you have kids. Then silence is just suspicious. - Unknown

Amateurs wait for inspiration. The rest of us just get up and go to work. - Chuck Close

There never was a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him asleep. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Setting a good example for your children takes all the fun out of middle age. - William Feather

Never be a cynic, even a gentle one. Never help out a sneer, even at the devil. - Vachel Lindsay

Spoiled Rotten: What the kids become after as little as 15 minutes with Grandma - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Sometimes I wish I had a terrible childhood, so that at least I'd have an excuse. - Jimmy Fallon

My wife and I have a tradition of popcorn and videos with our kids on Friday evenings. - Ozwald Boateng

When I see my granddaughters make small discoveries of their own, I wish I were a child. - Dr. Seuss

Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home. - Bill Cosby

Because: Mom's reason for having kids do things which can't be explained logically - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

What is so real as the cry of a child? A rabbit's cry may be wilder but it has no soul. - Sylvia Plath

It's not that age brings childhood back again. Age merely shows what children we remain. - Goethe

Zucchini: Vegetable which can be baked, boiled, fried or steamed before kids refuse to eat it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I brought children into this dark world because it needed the light that only a child can bring. - Liz Armbruster

The devil never comes offering you something evil. The devil comes offering you a larger audience. - Murray Kempton

Eddie discovered one of his childhood's great truths. Grownups are the real monsters, he thought. - Stephen King

Children seldom misquote. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said. - Unknown

Animals are like little children a bit. They're simple. They don't have politics driving them. - Annabelle Sabloff

The best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it. - Harry S Truman

There are three ways to get something done: do it yourself, employ someone, or forbid your children to do it. - Mona Crane

Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas. - Paula Poundstone

Imagine if you succeeded in making the world perfect for your children what a shock the rest of life would be for them. - Joyce Maynard

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in eight hours of TV a day. - Homer Simpson

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

Play is the highest expression of human development in childhood for it alone is the free expression of what is in a child's soul. - Friedrich Frobel

The best time to give advice to your children is while they're still young enough to believe you know what you're talking about. - Evan Esar

Education commences on the mother's knee, and every word spoken within hearsay of little children tends toward the formation of character. - Hosea Ballou

In a big family the first child is kind of like the first pancake. If it's not perfect, that's okay, there are a lot more coming along. - Antonin Scalia

The heart of who I am as a person and as a man is forgiveness, after forgiving my father for a lot of things that were done when I was a child. - Tyler Perry


Dream The Impossible

When Life Gets You Down

Redneck Estate Sale

How To Tweet Others

Nutella Soother

Autumn Camouflage

Go Play Outside

Be Someone

Arkansas Divorce Application

Three Finger Carrot

Braided Horse Tail

Owl Glove

Far North Cable Guys

Openish Hours

Lead Sled Dog

Pet Food Tester

Gold Bar Carrot Cake

Looking For A Mate

Food For Thought

Kanye Twitty

Skull Tentacles

Ukrainian Cattle Car

CreepEye

Canadian Whiskey