Low Budget Tree

Santa's Guh-nomes - Archie Bunker

My family tree could use some pruning. - Unknown

Budget: a way of going broke methodically. - Groucho Marx

A turkey never voted for an early Christmas. - Unknown

Talk is cheap... except when Congress does it. - Unknown

Safety is a cheap and effective insurance policy. - Unknown

I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me. - Warren Buffet

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

The best cure for sea sickness, is to sit under a tree. - Spike Milligan

I grew up working in Canada so everything was low budget. - Ellen Page

The patriot's blood is the seed of Freedom's tree. - Thomas Campbell

Keep a green tree in your heart and perhaps a singing bird will come. - Chinese Proverb

If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears, does it make a sound? - Unknown

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. - George Carlin

Southerners are so devoted to genealogy that we see a family tree under every bush. - Florence King

If my Valentine you won't be,
I'll hang myself on your Christmas tree. - Ernest Hemingway

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

Learning is an ornament in prosperity, a refuge in adversity, and a provision in old age. - Aristotle

Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree. - Martin Luther

Make pumpkin bread as the default gift for everyone. It is cheap, it is beloved, it is carbs. - Karen Bender

Gorilla tourism is vital to Rwanda's economy: It's the third highest source of income. - Andy Serkis

I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about short and cheap? - Phyllis Diller

No matter how carefully you stored the lights last year, they will be snarled again this Christmas. - Robert Kirby

The attention economy is not growing, which means we have to grab the attention that someone else has today. - Brent Leary

There is not Communism or Marxism, but representative democracy and social justice in a well-planned economy. - Fidel Castro

Might make a real good Christmas present for the uninformed. The book is called 'Taking America Back.' - Paul Harvey

Servers make very little in regular wages and largely rely on tips to pay the bills and budget for weeks ahead. - Kevin McCarthy

Women are the most powerful magnet in the universe. And all men are cheap metal. And we all know where north is. - Larry Miller

With the changing economy, no one has lifetime employment. But community colleges provide lifetime employability. - Barack Obama

Character is like a tree and reputation like a shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing. - Abraham Lincoln

As the poet said, "Only God can make a tree" - probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on. - Woody Allen

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple

On the top of the Crumpetty Tree
The Quangle Wangle sat,
But his face you could not see,
On account of his Beaver Hat. - Edward Lear

Wolves directly affect the entire ecosystem, not just moose populations, their main prey, because less moose equals more tree growth. - Rolf Peterson

Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. - Albert Einstein

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. - George Carlin

I think that I shall never see
A billboard lovely as a tree;
Perhaps, unless the billboards fall,
I'll never see a tree at all. - Ogden Nash