#1 humor site on the 'net

Mechanic's Ring

Finger-Fine Jewelry for Special Mechanics

Mechanic's Ring thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Wearing a pipe wrench around your finger

QuotaBills
The law itself follows gold. - Propertius

Diamonds are the tears of the poor. - Helen McCloy

Diamonds are forever, my youth is not. - Jill St John

Where gold speaks every tongue is silent. - Italian Proverb

Every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings. - It's a Wonderful Life

Through darkness diamonds spread their richest light. - John Webster

Diamonds are only lumps of coal that stuck to their jobs. - Malcolm Forbes

I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

I think "Hail to the Chief" has a nice ring to it. - John F Kennedy

They bequeathed the gleaming gold, treasure of men, to earth. - Beowulf

It is better to have old secondhand diamonds than none at all. - Mark Twain

I'd rather have roses on my table than diamonds on my neck. - Emma Goldman

Everything has its limit - iron ore cannot be educated into gold. - Mark Twain

The more you get past pain, the more it goes from coal to diamond. - Jodi Picoult

Proverbs are mental gems gathered in the diamond districts of the mind. - William R. Alger

Invest in the human soul. Who knows, it might be a diamond in the rough. - Mary McLeod Bethune

A beautiful diamond asks to be viewed from many angles, shining in the light. - Clare Josa

I'm a dirt person. I trust the dirt. I don't trust diamonds and gold. - Eartha Kitt

Giving your son a skill is better than giving him one thousand pieces of gold. - Chinese Proverb

Never knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run away. Death hates that. - Matt Frewer

Next to good judgment, diamonds and pearls are the rarest things in the world. - Jean De La Bruyere

Life without endeavor is like entering a jewel mine and coming out with empty hands. - Japanese Proverb

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring. - Jeff Foxworthy

Freedom rings when you realize you can become what you never thought you could become. - Richie Norton

I don't work out. If God wanted us to bend over, he'd put diamonds on the floor. - Joan Rivers

The most precious jewels you'll ever have around your neck are the arms of your children. - Unknown

In two decades I've lost a total of 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet. - Erma Bombeck

Of all sound of all bells... most solemn and touching is the peal which rings out the Old Year. - Charles Lamb

My tastes are not those of the king, who has none, except for hunting and mechanic's labour. - Marie Antoinette

I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond. - Mae West

The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage. - Mark Russell

Every diamond has the ability to shine when there is someone to recognize its good facets and inhibit its flaws. - Wes Fesler

People judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold, but so has a hard-boiled egg. - Unknown

Tooth decay was a perennial problem that meant a mouthful of silver for patients, and for dentists a pocketful of gold. - Claudia Wallis

Diamond being the toughest thing on the face of earth is still the most prettiest object; pretty is not always being honeyed. - Priyansh Shah

I had very good dentures once. Some magnificent gold work. It's the only form of jewelry a man can wear that women fully appreciate. - Graham Greene

A politician should have three hats. One for throwing into the ring, one for talking through, and one for pulling rabbits out of if elected. - Carl Sandburg

The more the diamond is cut the brighter it sparkles; and in what seems hard dealing, there God has no end in view but to perfect His people. - Thomas Guthrie

With so much to be aware of, awareness bracelets have reverted to signifying nothing more than color itself. Idealism has devolved into fashion. - Timothy Noah

The diamond has been always esteemed the rarest stone, and the most precious of all: among the ancients it was called the stone of reconciliation. - Lewis Vertoman


Improvise, Adapt, Overcome

Flower Lips

Bird Walker

Never Go Full Retard

Multi-Pilot Jet

Teethbrushes

Dinner Preparation: Here's looking at you!

Picture Perfect

Same Mistake Twice

How To Build A Fence

Horse-Back Riding

Social Distancing Fine

Burnout Indication

Lost Luggage

A Balanced Diet

Bowen Arrow

Business School Basics

Broken Potted Plant Art

Fish Hat

Fairy Soap

Floor Legs

Microscopic Reader

Brief Case

Hairstyle Of The Year