Merry House

Art is a house that tries to be haunted. - Emily Dickinson

Life is too short to drink the house wine. - Helen Thomas

Christmas comes, but once a year is enough. - American Proverb

In the ant's house, the dew is a flood. - Danish Proverb

There will be no whitewash at the White House. - Richard M Nixon

At my house, Dust is a noun, not a verb. - Unknown

Choose your neighbor before you buy your house. - African Proverb

One aged man - one man - can't fill a house. - Robert Frost

I get really grinchy right up until Christmas morning. - Dan Aykroyd

The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I'm going to the North Pole to help out Santa this year. - Jimmy Fallon

I'm walking backwards for Christmas Across the Irish Sea. - Spike Milligan

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge

It's a sad house where the hen crows louder than the cock. - Scottish Proverb

My wife is such a bad cook, in my house we pray after the meal. - Rodney Dangerfield

A house with old furniture has no need of ghosts to be haunted. - Hope Mirrlees

Every bathroom in my house will ultimately have a Toto bidet in it. - Ken Marino

When the snake is in the house, one need not discuss the matter at length. - African Saying

Nothing's as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas. - Kin Hubbard

I wouldn't run for President. I wouldn't want to move to a smaller house. - Bono

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house unless they have a well-stocked bar. - WC Fields

I love contemporary art, although I wouldn't want a pickled shark in my house. - Bruno Tonioli

Do you know what White House correspondents call actors who pose as reporters? Anchors. - Jay Leno

If you burn your neighbor's house down, it doesn't make your house look any better. - Lou Holtz

A gentleman should never leave the house without a sharp knife, a good watch, and great hat. - Unknown

Crafting fills my life, and my closets, and my drawers, and every empty tote bag in the house. - Unknown

The Christmas season has come to mean the period when the public plays Santa Claus to the merchants. - John Andrew Holmes

Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler. - WC Fields

The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a family all wrapped up in each other. - Bill Vaughan

In France we leave unmolested those who set fire to the house, and persecute those who sound the alarm. - Sebastien Chamfort

The Honourable Lady was once an egg and people on both sides of this House greatly regret its fertilisation. - Nicholas Fairbairn

I gave my young nephew a book for Christmas. He's spent six months looking for where to put the batteries. - Milton Berle

When I moved out of my mom's house at 18 I was almost as sad to leave her sewing machine behind as anything else. - Beth Ditto

A squirrel dying in front of your house may be more relevant to your interests right now than people dying in Africa. - Mark Zuckerberg

Eden is that old-fashioned house
We dwell in every day
Without suspecting our abode
Until we drive away. - Emily Dickinson

The great Gaels of Ireland are the men that God made mad.
For all their wars are merry, and all their songs are sad. - G K Chesterton

My friend Sally is a nudist. I went to her house. The closets have no doors. The walls are covered with see-through wallpaper. - Steven Wright

Hockey on roller skates is like MMA in a bounce house: the elements are there, but the medium makes the whole thing ridiculous. - David Walton

I was born by Caesarian section... but not so you'd notice. It's just that when I leave a house, I go out through the window. - Steven Wright

The worst thing about work in the house or home is that whatever you do it is destroyed, laid waste or eaten within twenty-four hours. - Lady Hasluck