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Message From The Wife

Eat more fruit - key ingredient for a healthy marital relationship

My friend got home late last night after a full day of golfing and drinking with the boys, and his wife left a message in the kitchen for him. I guess she wants him to eat more fruit...
Message From The Wife thanks to Barry McCartney

Secrets to a successful long-term relationship or marriage

QuotaBills
A married man is a caged bird. - Spanish Proverb

I was so cold I almost got married. - Shelley Winters

Always say no, and you will never by married. - French Proverb

In married life, three is company and two none. - Oscar Wilde

Love - a temporary insanity curable by marriage. - Ambrose Bierce

Marry me and I'll never look at another horse! - Groucho Marx

The trees that are slow to grow bear the best fruit. - Moliere

An Irish wedding is a tame thing to an Irish funeral. - Mary Deasy

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. - Unknown

Don't marry a tennis player - love means nothing to them. - Joan Rivers

In Hollywood, brides keep the bouquets and throw away the groom. - Groucho Marx

I've been married twice but I haven't had a marriage yet. - Jennifer Lopez

The general rule is that people who enjoy life also enjoy marriage. - Phyllis Battelle

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always. - Red Skelton

There's one thing about a late marriage - it doesn't last long. - Unknown

Never marry anyone you could not sit next to during a three-day bus trip. - Roger Ebert

I believe in love and marriage, but not necessarily with the same person. - John Travolta

I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks. - Totie Fields

Marriage requires a special talent like acting. Monogamy requires genius. - Warren Beatty

The world has grown suspicious of anything that looks like a happily married life. - Oscar Wilde

Only choose in marriage a woman whom you would choose as a friend if she were a man. - Joseph Joubert

How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive. - Oscar Wilde

Nature magically suits a man to his fortunes, by making them the fruit of his character. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

We seldom give each other advice - I think that's the success of 25 years of marriage. - Laura Bush

If you meet someone who can cook and do housework, don't hesitate a minute - marry him! - Rita Rudner

I'm a very committed wife. I should be committed, too, for being married so many times. - Elizabeth Taylor

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks. - Joe E Lewis

First of all you’ve got to have talent. And then you've got to marry her like I did. - George Burns

Rituals are important. Nowadays it's hip not to be married. I'm not interested in being hip. - John Lennon

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard for the night, she can still survive. - WC Fields

Always get married in the morning. That way if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted the whole day. - Mickey Rooney

I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something is wrong with me. - Elayne Boosler

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them. - Ogden Nash

A dark-chocolate truffle melts in my mouth, and I forget about everything else... even the fact that I'm on a diet. - Barbara Brooke

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming: 1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it; 2. Whenever you're right, shut up. - Patrick Murra

A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year. - Paul Sweeney

Getting married is easy. Staying married is more difficult. Staying happily married for a lifetime should rank among the fine arts. - Roberta Flack

Don't over-analyze your marriage; it's like yanking up a fragile indoor plant every 20 minutes to see how its roots are growing. - Ogden Nash

In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage. - Robert Anderson

One advantage of marriage is that when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again. - Judith Viorst


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