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Message From The Wife

Eat more fruit - key ingredient for a healthy marital relationship

My friend got home late last night after a full day of golfing and drinking with the boys, and his wife left a message in the kitchen for him. I guess she wants him to eat more fruit...
Message From The Wife thanks to Barry McCartney

Secrets to a successful long-term relationship or marriage

QuotaBills
I've seen better fights at a wedding. - Harry Redknapp

Always say no, and you will never by married. - French Proverb

Love - a temporary insanity curable by marriage. - Ambrose Bierce

Getting married is an incredible act of hopefulness. - Ashley Judd

There is nothing so difficult to marry as a large nose. - Oscar Wilde

The proper basis for marriage is mutual misunderstanding. - Oscar Wilde

Don't marry a tennis player - love means nothing to them. - Joan Rivers

I've been married twice but I haven't had a marriage yet. - Jennifer Lopez

I was going to marry a gardener, but he was too rough around the hedges. - Unknown

Never marry anyone you could not sit next to during a three-day bus trip. - Roger Ebert

Marriage is too interesting an experiment to be tried only once or twice. - Eva Gabor

The Pirate is surrealism and so, in a curious way, is Father of the Bride. - Vincente Minnelli

I've been married so long I'm on my third bottle of Tabasco sauce. - Susan Vass

Watermelon - it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face. - Enrico Caruso

The great majority of neuroses in women have their origin in the marriage bed. - Sigmund Freud

A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers. - Grace Hansen

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

I wanted to study to be a dental hygienist, marry a rich dentist, and hang it up. - Vicki Lawrence

A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it. - John Steinbeck

My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to. - Rita Rudner

How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive. - Oscar Wilde

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie. - Jim Davis

If I get married again, I want a guy there with a drum to do rim shots during the vows. - Sam Kinison

Inspirations never go in for long engagements; they demand immediate marriage to action. - Unknown

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage: the wife is in charge. - Bill Cosby

I believe in the institution of marriage, and I intend to keep trying until I get it right. - Richard Pryor

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight. - Phyllis Diller

I'm on a strict liquid diet: Mimosas for breakfast, Margaritas for lunch, Martinis for dinner. - Unknown

Rituals are important. Nowadays it's hip not to be married. I'm not interested in being hip. - John Lennon

My wife is on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight, but she can sure climb a tree. - Henny Youngman

Marriage is the only known example of the happy meeting of the immovable object and the irresistible force. - Ogden Nash

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories. - John Wilmot

I love to go to a movie, get a Diet Coke and a barrel of popcorn, and sit there with my kids and watch a film. - William Shatner

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out. - Ogden Nash

It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married. - Robert Frost

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

A dark-chocolate truffle melts in my mouth, and I forget about everything else... even the fact that I'm on a diet. - Barbara Brooke

If the marriage needs help, the answer almost always is have more fun. Drop your list of grievances and go ride a roller coaster. - Garrison Keillor

In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage. - Robert Anderson


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