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Message From The Wife

Eat more fruit - key ingredient for a healthy marital relationship

My friend got home late last night after a full day of golfing and drinking with the boys, and his wife left a message in the kitchen for him. I guess she wants him to eat more fruit...
Message From The Wife thanks to Barry McCartney

Secrets to a successful long-term relationship or marriage

QuotaBills
Marriage is heaven and hell. - German Proverb

Marry in haste, repent at leisure. - English Proverb

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce. - Groucho Marx

German headshrinker named Sigmund Fruit - Archie Bunker

I've seen better fights at a wedding. - Harry Redknapp

Don't marry for money; divorce for money. - Wendy Liebman

All men's gains are the fruit of venturing. - Herodotus

An Irish wedding is a tame thing to an Irish funeral. - Mary Deasy

A balanced diet is a Cracker Jack cookie in each hand. - Joe-kster

There is nothing so difficult to marry as a large nose. - Oscar Wilde

In Hollywood, a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk. - Rita Rudner

Before you marry keep both eyes open; after marriage shut one. - Jamaican Proverb

The more you invest in a marriage, the more valuable it becomes. - Amy Grant

Plant the seed of meditation and reap the fruit of peace of mind. - Unknown

All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner. - Red Skelton

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of. - Mae West

A girl must marry for love, and keep on marrying until she finds it. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

Marriage is a lottery, but you can't tear up your ticket if you lose. - F.M. Knowles

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage. - George Gobel

I think gay marriage is something that should be between a man and a woman. - Arnold Schwarzenegger

I am married to Beatrice Salkeld, a painter. We have no children, except me. - Brendan Behan

If men knew how women pass the time when they are alone, they'd never marry. - O. Henry

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

Sir, it is your duty to get married. You can't be always living for pleasure. - Oscar Wilde

Only choose in marriage a woman whom you would choose as a friend if she were a man. - Joseph Joubert

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

We seldom give each other advice - I think that's the success of 25 years of marriage. - Laura Bush

If you marry a man who cheats on his wife, you'll be married to a man who cheats on his wife. - Ann Landers

For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end. - Catherine Zeta-Jones

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

Self-respect is the fruit of discipline; the sense of dignity grows with the ability to say no to oneself. - Abraham J. Heschel

Always get married in the morning. That way if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted the whole day. - Mickey Rooney

Marriage always demands the greatest understanding of the art of insincerity possible between two human beings. - Vicki Baum

I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something is wrong with me. - Elayne Boosler

There is nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It is a thing no married man knows anything about. - Oscar Wilde

The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books - how not to eat what you've just learned now to cook. - Andy Rooney

For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the only miracle the Vatican has overlooked. - Bill Cosby

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet service to see who they really are. - Will Ferrell

Twenty years of romance make a woman look like a ruin, but twenty years of marriage make her something like a public building. - Oscar Wilde

Don't over-analyze your marriage; it's like yanking up a fragile indoor plant every 20 minutes to see how its roots are growing. - Ogden Nash


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