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Message From The Wife

Eat more fruit - key ingredient for a healthy marital relationship

My friend got home late last night after a full day of golfing and drinking with the boys, and his wife left a message in the kitchen for him. I guess she wants him to eat more fruit...
Message From The Wife thanks to Barry McCartney

Secrets to a successful long-term relationship or marriage

QuotaBills
Impeach: A pixie fruit - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A married man is a caged bird. - Spanish Proverb

Marry in haste, repent at leisure. - English Proverb

Life is too short to be on a diet. - Taylor J Reid

I married beneath me. All women do. - Lady Nancy Astor

I was so cold I almost got married. - Shelley Winters

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce. - Groucho Marx

Housewarming: The last call for wedding presents - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. - Paula Deen

In married life three is company and two is none. - Oscar Wilde

A balanced diet is a Cracker Jack cookie in each hand. - Joe-kster

Marriage has many pains, but celibacy has not pleasure. - Samuel Johnson

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx

Now a soft kiss; Aye, by that kiss, I vow an endless bliss. - John Keats

Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does. - Groucho Marx

Character is the root of the tree; conduct, the fruit it bears. - E.M. Bounds

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always. - Red Skelton

I was going to marry a gardener, but he was too rough around the hedges. - Unknown

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

Bachelors: Married men may have better halves, but bachelors have better quarters - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases. - Milton Berle

Marriage is wonderful institution... if, of course, you like living in an institution. - Groucho Marx

I believe in tying the marriage knot, as long as it's around the woman's neck. - WC Fields

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie. - Jim Davis

If I get married again, I want a guy there with a drum to do rim shots during the vows. - Sam Kinison

I've been married to a communist and a fascist, and neither would take out the garbage. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

If you meet someone who can cook and do housework, don't hesitate a minute - marry him! - Rita Rudner

Rituals are important. Nowadays it's hip not to be married. I'm not interested in being hip. - John Lennon

The one charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception absolutely necessary for both parties. - Oscar Wilde

Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one. - Unknown

Marry an outdoors woman. Then if you throw her out into the yard for the night, she can still survive. - WC Fields

I love being married. I was single for a long time, and I just got so sick of finishing my own sentences. - Brian Kiley

Any married man should forget his mistakes - there's no use in two people remembering the same thing. - John C Maxwell

My wife is on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight, but she can sure climb a tree. - Henny Youngman

The Irish Catholic side was married to the life of an actor and I found out acting could be a form of prayer. - Liam Neeson

I love to go to a movie, get a Diet Coke and a barrel of popcorn, and sit there with my kids and watch a film. - William Shatner

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

There is nothing in the world like the devotion of a married woman. It is a thing no married man knows anything about. - Oscar Wilde

Sexiness wears thin after a while and beauty fades, but to be married to a man who make you laugh every day, ah, now that's a real treat. - Joanne Woodward

One advantage of marriage is that when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again. - Judith Viorst


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