Microwave Mailbox

I get mail; therefore I am. - Scott Adams

Open your mail over the wastebasket. - Jeff Davidson

e looks about as happy as a penguin in a microwave. - Sid Waddell

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks. - Steven Wright

Learning music by reading about it is like making love by mail. - Luciano Pavarotti

Fine art and pizza delivery: what we do falls neatly in between. - David Letterman

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time. - Steven Wright

Mail your packages early, so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson

He that respects himself is safe from others, he wears a coat of mail that none can pierce. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

I don't believe in e-mail. I'm an old-fashioned girl. I prefer calling and hanging up. - Sarah Jessica Parker

Every two months, I would get an email, 'Skeleton Twins update: still don't have the money!' - Bill Hader

I can't understand why you don't get any mail from me. Perhaps it's because I haven't been writing. - Groucho Marx

Menopause: because nature decided that pregnancy, labor, delivery, breastfeeding, and stretch marks wasn't enough. - Unknown

I have a microwave fireplace in my house... The other night I laid down in front of the fire for the evening in two minutes. - Steven Wright

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz