#1 humor site on the 'net

Ministry of Silly Walks Watch

Making every clock step a silly one

Ministry of Silly Walks Watch thanks to Warren Ralston

Running out of time to view the next Monty Python skit

QuotaBills
Time wounds all heels. - Groucho Marx

Time is eternity begun. - James Montgomery

Time is generally the best doctor. - Ovid

Time you enjoy wasting was not wasted. - John Lennon

My alone time is for everyone's safety. - Unknown

Social media are tools. Real time is a mindset. - David M. Scott

There is a time for words and a time for sleep. - Homer

Time sneaks up on you like a windshield on a bug. - John Lithgow

The time to relax is when you don't have time for it. - Amish Saying

Well arranged time is the surest mark of a well arranged mind. - Isaac Pitman

By the time I have money to burn, my fire will have burnt out. - Unknown

I certainly do not drink all the time. I have to sleep you know. - WC Fields

I used to have an hourglass figure, then the sands of time shifted. - Unknown

We spend our time searching for security and hate it when we get it. - John Steinbeck

Never regret anything because at one time it was exactly what you wanted. - Unknown

I usually meet my girlfriend at 12:59 because I like that one-to-one time. - Tom Ward

It takes less time to do things right than to explain why you did it wrong. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

I don't have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead. - Mark Twain

The only time a woman really succeeds in changing a man is when he is a baby. - Natalie Wood

A lie is an abomination unto the Lord and a very present help in time of trouble. - Adlai Stevenson

Irony is the form of paradox. Paradox is what is good and great at the same time. - Karl W F Schlegel

I am long on ideas, but short on time. I expect to live to be only about a hundred. - Thomas A. Edison

By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better. - Unknown

Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time, for that is the stuff life is made of. - Benjamin Franklin

Reason is not time only interpreter of life. The fountain of action is in time feelings. - Henry T. Tuckerman

Every time you tear a leaf off a calendar, you present a new place for new ideas and progress. - Charles Kettering

'Next time!' In what calendar are kept the records of those next times which never come? - Helen Hunt Jackson

What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing 'k' instead of 'ok'? - Unknown

It's going to be fun to watch and see how long the meek can keep the earth after they inherit it. - Kin Hubbard

If you do a good job for others, you heal yourself at the same time, because a dose of joy is a spiritual cure. - Ed Sullivan

A man with a career can have no time to waste upon his wife and friends; he has to devote it wholly to his enemies. - John Hobbes

I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o'clock in the morning. - John Barrymore

Middle age is the time in life when, after pulling in your stomach, you look as if you ought to pull in your stomach. - Unknown

Vision without action is merely a dream. Action without vision just passes the time. Vision with action can change the world. - Joel Arthur Barker

Nobody sees a flower, really - it is so small - we haven't time, and to see takes time, like to have a friend takes time. - Georgia O'Keefe

Fairies have to be one thing or the other, because being so small they unfortunately have room for one feeling only at a time. - J.M. Barrie

Dig trenches? With our men being killed off like flies?
There isn't time to dig trenches. We'll have to buy them ready made. - Groucho Marx

Three things you cannot recover in life: the WORD after it's said, the MOMENT after it's missed, and the TIME after it's gone. - Unknown

Winter is the time for comfort, for good food and warmth, for the touch of a friendly hand and for a talk beside the fire: it is the time for home. - Edith Sitwell

Schools must stop being holding pens to keep energetic young people off the job market and off the streets. We stretch puberty out a long, long time. - Toni Morrison


Chubby Free

Pirrows

Young Rock Star

Restored Beauty

Powerplant Swimsuit Models

Watermelon Cake

Sharkini

Julyed

Filet Minion

Better Singer

Texas Basketball

Grow Food, Not Lawns

Nut Salesman

Long Yellow Things

Ants Know When Something Is Fake

Think Outside

Despicable Wood Stove

Engineering Flowchart

Egotist

Hunter's Dream Wedding

Paddy Field Canal

Grow A Boyfriend

Mars Images

Drumset Motorcycle