Ministry of Silly Walks Watch

Lost time is never found again. - Benjamin Franklin

I believe it is peace for our time. - Neville Chamberlain

Now I'm gonna synchrosize the watch. - Archie Bunker

You must come again when you have less time. - Walter Sickert

There's always time for the things you put first. - Unknown

Every time somebody gets the Ebola virus, it mutates. - Glenn Beck

My time has not yet come either; some are born posthumously. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

Heifer cow is better than none, but this is no time for puns. - Groucho Marx

My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex, she objects. - Les Dawson

Time misspent in youth is sometimes all the freedom one ever has. - Anita Brookner

Every time you have to speak, you are auditioning for leadership. - James Humes

Every time I feel like exercise, I lie down until the feeling passes. - Robert M Hutchins

But at my back I always hear Time's winged chariot hurrying near. - Andrew Marvell

The best thing about the future is that it comes only one day at a time. - Dean Acheson

The real problem of leisure time is how to keep others from using yours. - Arthur Lacey

I drink too much. Last time I gave a urine sample there was an olive in it. - Rodney Dangerfield

Never attempt to teach a pig to sing; it wastes your time and annoys the pig. - Robert A. Heinlein

The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does. - Unknown

If you don't have time to do it right, when will you have time to do it over? - John Wooden

Spending time being can be just as, if not more, fulfilling as spending time doing. - Faydra D. Fields

The way to deal with the devil of obesity and diabetes is literally one day at a time. - Stephen Furst

A man begins cutting his wisdom teeth the first time he bites off more than he can chew. - Herb Caen

True and solemn meaning of Christmas, which is a time for peace and quiet contemptation. - Archie Bunker

By the time a man gets to be presidential material, he's been bought ten times over. - Gore Vidal

Success does not consist in never making blunders, but in never making the same one a second time. - Josh Billings

The elderly don't drive that badly; they're just the only ones with time to do the speed limit. - Jason Love

By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong. - Charles Wadsworth

I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o'clock in the morning. - John Barrymore

Some say cling to the earth while others say reach for the stars. There's time enough for the earth in the grave. - Unknown

I do not see how a man can work on the frontiers of physics and write poetry at the same time. They are in opposition. - Paul Dirac

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
So just what are time flies, and why do they fly like an arrow? - Groucho Marx

Valentine's Day: Rubbing singles' noses in their lack of a mate and the noses of couples in their lack of time. - Emma McLaughlin

The more time you spend contemplating what you should have done, you lose valuable time planning what you can and will do. - Lil Wayne

New Year's Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time. - James Agate

Every time a child says, "I don't believe in fairies," there is a little fairy somewhere that falls down dead. - Sir James M. Barrie

Every dad, if he takes time out of his busy life to reflect upon his fatherhood, can learn ways to become an even better dad. - Jack Baker

In case of fire, don't panic. Simply flee the building with the same reckless abandon that occurs each day at quitting time. - Don Delcourt

Lost wealth may be replaced by industry; lost knowledge by study; lost health by temperance or medicine; but lost time is gone forever. - Samuel Smiles

Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek. - Barack Obama

Regarded simply as a politician, and compared with the other leading political figures of our time, how clean a smell he has managed to leave behind. - Mahatma Gandhi