#1 humor site on the 'net

Minnesota Hockey Rink

Going 'Wild' for ice hockey in Minnesota

Minnesota Hockey Rink thanks to Ed Brantly, Prince George, Virginia

John Deere helps make outdoor ice hockey possible in Minneapolis

QuotaBills
Outdoor hockey is what it is all about. - Paul Coffey

To succeed in hockey, you need teamwork. - Henry Samueli

Do your kids a favor - don't have any. - Robert Orben

Some guys play hockey. Gretzky plays 40-mph chess. - Lowell Cohn

You know what's cool? My kids think I'm ordinary. - Michael J. Fox

Hockey seems completely lawless and, therefore, inexplicably sexy. - Rachel Nichols

For me, baseball is more comparable to chess than it is to hockey. - Jeff Garlin

The greatest hockey player who ever lived: Bobby Orr, and I love him. - Donald S. Cherry

By 1946, I knew Detroit was the best hockey city in the Original Six. - Ted Lindsay

Teaching kids to count is fine, but teaching them what counts is best. - Bob Talbert

All kids are gifted: some just open their packages earlier than others. - Michael Carr

Silence is golden unless you have kids. Then silence is just suspicious. - Unknown

Joy Of Motherhood: What a woman experiences when all the kids are in bed - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Kids: they dance before they learn there is anything that isn't music. - William Stafford

Sometimes it just feels like the only thing you do is play hockey and eat. - Henrik Lundqvist

Short of screaming-hot Thai food, everything can be suitable for kids too. - Guy Fieri

The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any. - Fred Astaire

I'm not buying my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did. - Yogi Berra

My wife and I have a tradition of popcorn and videos with our kids on Friday evenings. - Ozwald Boateng

I love extreme sports, I like snowboarding and motorcross and rollerblading and hockey. - Jeremy London

Canadian hockey fans... They boo me every time I go anywhere. Because I play for Team USA. - Brett Hull

If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like. - Phyllis Diller

I like ice hockey. No one is ever going to ask me to write about that as a metaphor for life. - Steven Pinker

I just want to make sure when I have kids, I can spend time with them. That's the whole point. - Mark Zuckerberg

Field hockey is my strongest sport, and if I lose a game, I take a long, hot bath and moan about it. - Emma Watson

Every boy needs a role model that he can be proud of and talk about to the other kids in the playground. - Athol Fugard

When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out. - Erma Bombeck

We can make fun of hockey fans, but someone who enjoys Homer is indulging the same kind of vicarious bloodlust. - Steven Pinker

I went to a Catholic boys' school for a year, but that was to play hockey. Religion class was quite contentious for me. - Keanu Reeves

There's no such thing as a soul. It's just something they made up to scare kids, like the bogeyman or Michael Jackson. - Bart Simpson

You know your kids are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going. - P.J. O'Rourke

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to hell? - Homer Simpson

Baseball happens to be a game of cumulative tension but football, basketball and hockey are played with hand grenades and machine guns. - John Leonard

If you want your kids to listen to you, don't yell at them. Whisper. Make them lean in. My kids taught me that. I do it with adults now. - Mario Batali

Fang took the entire family out for coffee and donuts the other night. The kids enjoyed it. It was the first time they'd ever given blood. - Phyllis Diller

Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath and hope we've set aside enough money for our kids' therapy. - Michelle Pfeiffer

When I walk down the street in New York, the building constructor, the guy pounding cement and what not, will yell, "Hey, you hockey puck!" - Don Rickles

Playoff hockey is the best way to market your team. It's the best way to grow your fan base and give hope to your players and for them to develop. - Steve Yzerman

If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle, especially the part that says, 'keep away from children.' - Susan Savannah


Toilet Snake

Eye Testing In Progress

Parent Signature

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Long Bore Gun

Bird Cam

Lost Wormhole

Where Weir'd Frogmen Jump In

Low Ceiling Workout

Dog Diner

Wet T-Shirt Contest Winners

Cow Farts

Revenge

Gaping Hole Costume

Redneck Water Skiing

Harrison Ford

Plenty of Room for God's Creatures

Aussie Selfie

Pyramid Kiss

Piano Door Bell

Trucks with 'Down' Syndrome

Tower of Pisa Restorer

Glamour Training

What Did She Say?