Missed Shots

I like a wine that fights back. - John Steed

Gin was mother's milk to her. - George Bernard Shaw

Adventure is the champagne of life. - G K Chesterton

Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker. - Ogden Nash

Every cask smells of the wine it contains. - Spanish Proverb

We only serve fine wine. Did you bring any? - Unknown

Good friends, like wine, get better with age. - Unknown

Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch. - Andy Rooney

Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world. - Jack Nicholson

Everything's better with bacon and red wine. - Dianne Harman

You miss 100 percent of the shots you never take. - Wayne Gretzky

Big shots are only little shots who keep shooting. - Christopher Morley

There was a sound in their voices which suggested rum. - Robert Louis Sevenson

Drown in a vat of whiskey? Oh death, where is thy sting? - WC Fields

Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper

Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction. - Bob Marley

How much I missed, simply because I was afraid of missing it. - Paulo Coelho

Stop trying to make everybody happy - you're not tequila. - Unknown

God invented whiskey to prevent the Irish from ruling the world. - Irish Saying

Memorial services are the cocktail parties of the geriatric set. - Ralph Richardson

Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends. - Tom Waits

You ought to get out of those wet clothes and into a dry martini. - Mae West

Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson

We are all mortal until the first kiss and the second glass of wine. - Eduardo Galeano

No opportunity is ever lost. Someone else seizes the ones you missed. - Unknown

Too much of anything is bad. Too much of good whisky is barely enough. - Mark Twain

As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula. - Dave Barry

You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

Whiskey is by far the most popular of all remedies that won't cure a cold. - Jerry Vale

I'll bring ya a bottle of champagne. Maybe I'll even bring home a whole maggot. - Archie Bunker

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is quite so satisfying as an income tax refund. - Unknown

I exercise extreme self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast. - WC Fields

When a man who is drinking neat gin starts talking about his mother he is past all argument. - C.S. Forester

An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown

I got rabies shots for biting the head off a bat but that's OK - the bat had to get Ozzy shots. - Ozzy Osbourne

I'm making wine at home, but I'm making it out of raisins so it will be aged automatically. - Steven Wright

If you have to choose between drinking wine every day or being skinny, which would you choose: Red or White? - Unknown

For everything you have missed, you have gained something else. For everything you gain, you lose something else. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker

It was so quiet, a reservation kind of quiet, where you can hear somebody drinking whiskey on the rocks three miles away. - Sherman Alexie

I have made an important discovery - that alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication. - Oscar Wilde

A woman should never be seen eating or drinking, unless it be lobster salad and Champagne, the only true feminine and becoming viands. - George G. Byron

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe

Those who have never known the deep intimacy and the intense companionship of mutual love have missed the best thing that life has to give. - Bertrand Russell

Alcohol is not in my vodkabulary. However, I looked it up on whiskeypedia and learned if you drink too much of it, it's likely tequilya. - Unknown

I've missed more than 9,000 shots. I've lost almost 300 games. I've failed over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed. - Michael Jordan

If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - Joe-kster