#1 humor site on the 'net

Mom Lookout

Looking after each other

Mom Lookout thanks to Mike King

QuotaBills
By ancestry, I was born to rule. - Nelson Mandela

Ancestry is a hereditary condition. - Unknown

Something bad has befelt the family. - Archie Bunker

Getting caught is the mother of invention. - Robert Byrne

I would give everything if I could only keep my family. - Johnny Depp

I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage. - Erma Bombeck

Food, love, mother and career: the four basic guilt groups. - Cathy Guisewite

She's descended from a long line her mother listened to. - Gypsy Rose Lee

Blessed are the young for they shall inherit the national debt. - Herbert Hoover

Remember as far as anyone knows, we're a nice normal family. - Homer Simpson

Grandma, thank you for being my anchor in this stormy sea of life. - Unknown

I know enough to know that when you're in a pickle... call Mom. - Jennifer Garner

The meek may inherit the earth, but they don't get in to Harvard. - Robin Williams

The story of a mother's life: trapped between a scream and a hug. - Cathy Guisewite

Misers aren't fun to live with, but they make wonderful ancestors. - Unknown

Now, as always, the most automated appliance in a household is the mother. - Beverly Jones

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

Enthusiasm is the mother of effort, and without it nothing great was ever achieved. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some hire public relations officers. - Daniel J. Boorstin

The only place you’re sure to find love is at the end of a letter from your mother. - Bruce Lansky

My perspective on my mother has changed immensely. She was a lot taller when I was younger. - Howie Mandel

There's a reason some people think they can achieve anything. They listened to their mother. - Unknown

I married your mother because I wanted children.
Imagine my disappointment when you came along. - Groucho Marx

It's going to be fun to watch and see how long the meek can keep the earth after they inherit it. - Kin Hubbard

When I was born my mother was terribly disappointed. Not that she wanted a girl - she wanted a divorce. - Woody Allen

Family, religion, friendship... these are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business. - Mr. Burns

Children begin by loving their parents; after a time they judge them; rarely, if ever, do they forgive them. - Oscar Wilde

There is an endearing tenderness in the love of a mother to a son that transcends all other affections of the heart. - Washington Irving

Her capacity for family affection is extraordinary: when her third husband died, her hair turned quite gold from grief. - Oscar Wilde

The family, that dear octopus from whose tentacles we never quite escape, nor in our innermost hearts never quite wish to. - Dodie Smith

In most homes, the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. - Evan Esar

The unjustifiable severity of a parent is loaded with this aggravation, that those whom he injures are always in his sight. - Joseph Addison

Children despise their parents until the age of forty, when they suddenly become just like them, thus preserving the system. - Quentin Crewe

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. - Shirley Temple

A mother's heart, a mother's faith, and a mother's steadfast love were fashioned by the angels and sent from God above. - Unknown

My son really has the spirit of Valentine's Day. When he was in college, he used to send his mother a heart-shaped box of laundry. - Milton Berle

Secretary: "It must be hard to lose your mother-in-law." WC Fields: "Yes it is, very hard. It's almost impossible." - WC Fields

If you have a family mission statement that clarifies what your purpose is, then you use that as the criterion by which you make the decisions. - Stephen Covey

A man finds room in the few square inches of the face for the traits of all his ancestors; for the expression of all his history, and his wants. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I like a quiet evening with family or friends over, great food and great discussion, and a lot of laughter. That's really what fills my tank. - Anna Eshoo


Get Off Your High Horse

Redneck Towing

Revenge of the Stallion

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Rat Cut

Spot the Hidden Barred Owl

Smoking Hot Body

Billy the Eagle Owl

Star Wars Fisherman

The Devil's Swimming Pool

Pet Dentist

Nuts And Fruitcakes

Spiral Staircase

Scubaru

Nordern Minnesota Yeneral Store

Pigeon Drink

Epic Turban

Healthy Breakfast

Motorcycle Campers

Canadian Banknotes - Extreme Makeover For Toonie

Wheelchair Mower

How To Fail at Photoshopping Pictures

Life Expectancy by Age

Construction Clouds