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Nice Try, Mom

Taking the calories out of fast food

Nice Try, Mom thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Diet plans that look better than the alternative

QuotaBills
I got 99 donuts 'cause my Mom ate one. - Unknown

My mom had a very difficult childhood. My childhood. - Cindy Marzahn

Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance. - Plato

People who shop in health food stores never look healthy. - Amy Sedaris

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory. - Albert Schweitzer

We take the hamburger business more seriously than anyone else. - Ray Kroc

Where there is laughter there is always more health than sickness. - Phyllis Bottome

Millions saw the apple fall, but Newton was the one who asked why. - Bernard Baruch

Once you lose the weight, you're really anxious to eat healthy. - Etta James

My mom told me a long time ago, 'Never get in a fight with a lady.' - Oliver North

I gotta lose weight, Edith. I hope you remembered my diuretic cottage cheese. - Archie Bunker

Couch Potato: What Mom finds under the sofa cushions after the kids eat dinner - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A man's health can be judged by which he takes two at a time - pills or stairs. - Joan Welsh

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get. - Robert Orben

I just wasn't cut out to be a Chinese Tiger Mom. I'm more of an Irish Setter Dad. - P.J. O'Rourke

If you have a mom, there is nowhere you are likely to go where a prayer has not already been. - Robert Brault

The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it. - Jackie Gleason

I may look like a potato now, but one day I'll turn into fries and you'll want me then. - Unknown

Everyone has a right to a university degree in America, even if it's in Hamburger Technology. - Clive James

Grief can be a burden, but also an anchor. You get used to the weight, how it holds you in place. - Sarah Dessen

I'm on a strict liquid diet: Mimosas for breakfast, Margaritas for lunch, Martinis for dinner. - Unknown

Every thought is a seed. If you plant crab apples, don't count on harvesting Golden Delicious. - Bill Meyer

What can be added to the happiness of man who is in health, out of debt, and has a clear conscience? - Adam Smith

It was so hot today that Burger King was singing, 'if you want it your way, cook it yourself.' - Johnny Carson

A healthy male adult bore consumes each year one and a half times his own weight in other people's patience. - John Updike

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

Moderation. Small helpings. Sample a little bit of everything. These are the secrets of happiness and good health. - Julia Child

Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi

Perfect freedom is as necessary to the health and vigor of commerce as it is to the health and vigor of citizenship. - Patrick Henry

Spare the rod and spoil the child - that is true. But, beside the rod, keep an apple to give him when he has done well. - Martin Luther

A dark-chocolate truffle melts in my mouth, and I forget about everything else... even the fact that I'm on a diet. - Barbara Brooke

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

I'm off the diet, but not the treadmill. I speak as someone who's attempted to lose weight and get fit thrice before in my life. - Ronnie Screwvala

Worrying is less work than doing something to fix the worry. Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom with the dishes. - P.J. O'Rourke

The rhythm of the footsteps, the sound of whatever is coming down the ladder is driving both me and my mom steadily toward peeing our pants. - Kendare Blake

Every essential oil has a healing purpose. I think it's a great gift because it's something that elevates your mood and your health. - Yolanda Hadid

I want to keep fighting because it is the only thing that keeps me out of the hamburger joints. If I don't fight, I'll eat this planet. - George Foreman

Never play cards with a man called Doc, never eat at a place called Mom's, and never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own. - Nelson Algren

The best way to lose weight is to close your mouth - something very difficult for a politician. Or watch your food - just watch it, don't eat it. - Edward I Kock

Car Pool: Complicated system of transportation where Mom always winds up going the furthest with the biggest bunch of kids who have had the most sugar - Daffynitions joe-ks.com


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