#1 humor site on the 'net

Nice Try, Mom

Taking the calories out of fast food

Nice Try, Mom thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Diet plans that look better than the alternative

QuotaBills
Diets are mainly food for thought. - N Wylie Jones

Life is too short to be on a diet. - Taylor J Reid

The apple will fall under the apple tree. - Greek Proverb

One good egg in a barrel of rotten apples. - Archie Bunker

The wish for healing has always been half of health. - Lucius Annaeus Seneca

My mom had a very difficult childhood. My childhood. - Cindy Marzahn

I've probably tried every fad diet in the world. - Jenna Ushkowitz

Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance. - Plato

A balanced diet is a Cracker Jack cookie in each hand. - Joe-kster

He who enjoys good health is rich, though he knows it not. - Italian Proverb

Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. - Ovid

The cardiologist's diet: - If it tastes good, spit it out. - Unknown

Our health is a voyage and every illness is an adventure story. - Margiad Evans

Fond of lawsuits, little wealth; fond of doctors, little health. - Hebrew Proverb

I don't diet, I just don't eat as much as I'd like to. - Linda Evangelista

If I didn't have you as a mom, I'd choose you as a friend. - Unknown

Whatsoever was the father of a disease, an ill diet was the mother. - George Herbert

So I will say it with relish. Give me a hamburger but hold the lawsuit. - S.I. Hayakawa

My mom told me a long time ago, 'Never get in a fight with a lady.' - Oliver North

I gotta lose weight, Edith. I hope you remembered my diuretic cottage cheese. - Archie Bunker

But we have to pass the [health care] bill so that you can find out what's in it. - Nancy Pelosi

Our marriage vows: till death do us part, for better for worse, in secrets and in health. - Archie Bunker

Man who invented the hamburger was smart; man who invented the cheeseburger was a genius. - Matthew McConaughey

Because: Mom's reason for having kids do things which can't be explained logically - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

We don't come to Canada for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves. - Prince Philip

Said the daughter: "I don't have to help my Mom with the housework. She knows how." - Unknown

Everyone has a right to a university degree in America, even if it's in Hamburger Technology. - Clive James

Grief can be a burden, but also an anchor. You get used to the weight, how it holds you in place. - Sarah Dessen

Food: The response Mom usually gives in answer to the question, "What's for dinner tonight?" - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A healthy male adult bore consumes each year one and a half times his own weight in other people's patience. - John Updike

Moderation. Small helpings. Sample a little bit of everything. These are the secrets of happiness and good health. - Julia Child

When wealth is lost, nothing is lost. When health is lost, something is lost. When character is lost, all is lost. - Rev. Billy Graham

Over the years, I learned so much from mom. She taught me about the importance of home and history and family and tradition. - Martha Stewart

Facebook is in a very different place than Apple, Google, Amazon, Samsung, and Microsoft. We are trying to build a community. - Mark Zuckerberg

In Japan, animation is a big part of your media diet. I moved out to Los Angeles at 9, and when I got homesick, I would watch anime. - Hiro Murai

I pray for forgiveness. For help and guidance. To be a better person. For the health of my family. For the world to be a better place. - Tyson Fury

Worrying is less work than doing something to fix the worry. Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom with the dishes. - P.J. O'Rourke

My daily diet consists of basically anything I think looks tasty, whether that's pizza, sushi, burgers, quesadillas. I like everything. - Cameron Dallas

I want to keep fighting because it is the only thing that keeps me out of the hamburger joints. If I don't fight, I'll eat this planet. - George Foreman

Never play cards with a man called Doc, never eat at a place called Mom's, and never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own. - Nelson Algren


Tired Flagpole

Bent Car Sculpture

Cow Jacket

Thanks For Noticing

Overflow Truck Garden

Beach Sign Training

Encouraging Seal

GMC Pool

Nature Calls

You're Home Early

New Nail Gun

Long Noodles

EMS Upgrade

No Pot Of Gold

Graduation Swag

Monkeypox

Pre-Dinner Photography

Curses, Foiled Again

Ant Virus

Sidewalk Malt Melt

Bird's Eye View

Sea Girl

Lifeguard Distancing

Merry Go Motorbike