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Nice Try, Mom

Taking the calories out of fast food

Nice Try, Mom thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Diet plans that look better than the alternative

QuotaBills
The greatest wealth is health. - Virgil

A balanced diet is chocolate in both hands. - Unknown

Smoking cures weight problems... eventually. - Steven Wright

Tears at times have all the weight of speech. - Ovid

My weight is perfect for my height - which varies. - Unknown

I wouldn't eat a hamburger for 40,000 dollars. - River Phoenix

A hamburger by any other name costs twice as much. - Evan Esar

I am the literary equivalent of a Big Mac and Fries. - Stephen King

Health insurance should be a given for every citizen. - Jesse Ventura

A balanced diet is a Cracker Jack cookie in each hand. - Joe-kster

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory. - Albert Schweitzer

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper

My mom always said normal is just a cycle on the washing machine. - Wynonna Judd

Millions saw the apple fall, but Newton was the one who asked why. - Bernard Baruch

Whatsoever was the father of a disease, an ill diet was the mother. - George Herbert

There is no curing a sick man who believes himself to be in health. - Henri Amiel

Being in a good frame of mind helps one keep in the picture of health. - Unknown

My metabolism stinks. I can gain weight just listening to dinner music. - Ron Dentinger

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper. - Amy Sedaris

People don't trust private health insurance companies for all the right reasons. - Bernie Sanders

Even if I knew that tomorrow the world would go to pieces, I would still plant my apple tree. - Martin Luther

The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it. - Jackie Gleason

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

Mental health problems do not affect three or four out of every five persons but one out of one. - William Menninger

It was so hot today that Burger King was singing, 'if you want it your way, cook it yourself.' - Johnny Carson

You really don't need to study how to change a diaper. As a new mom, you learn pretty darn quickly! - Ivanka Trump

My wife is on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight, but she can sure climb a tree. - Henny Youngman

Nobody can fail to lose weight in the jungle, unless they've got a secret stash of pork pies somewhere. - Colin Baker

Give a man health and a course to steer, and he'll never stop to trouble about whether he's happy or not. - George Bernard Shaw

Sea spaghetti looks like dark fettuccine and has a similar texture - you can get it in health food stores or online. - Yotam Ottolenghi

I have done a Hamburger Helper commercial, a Hardees commercial, a McDonalds commercial. American Express commercial. - Luke Benward

When I moved out of my mom's house at 18 I was almost as sad to leave her sewing machine behind as anything else. - Beth Ditto

The first requisite of a good citizen in this republic of ours is that he shall be able and willing to pull his weight. - Theodore Roosevelt

The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books - how not to eat what you've just learned now to cook. - Andy Rooney

I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me that they are wonderful things for other people to go on. - Jean Kerr

Health is the state about which medicine has nothing to say; sanctity is the state about which theology has nothing to say. - W H Auden

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not. - Mark Twain

I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

Worrying is less work than doing something to fix the worry. Everybody wants to save the earth; nobody wants to help Mom with the dishes. - P.J. O'Rourke


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