#1 humor site on the 'net

Nice Try, Mom

Taking the calories out of fast food

Nice Try, Mom thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Diet plans that look better than the alternative

QuotaBills
Health food makes me sick. - Calvin Trillin

Happiness is health and a short memory. - Unknown

A balanced diet is chocolate in both hands. - Unknown

Health insurance should be a given for every citizen. - Jesse Ventura

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory. - Albert Schweitzer

If you ignore your health for long enough, it'll go away. - Unknown

An apple a day keeps anyone away if you throw it hard enough. - Unknown

We take the hamburger business more seriously than anyone else. - Ray Kroc

I don't diet, I just don't eat as much as I'd like to. - Linda Evangelista

I know enough to know that when you're in a pickle... call Mom. - Jennifer Garner

Give me Caviar Kaspia and give me a hamburger. I love the two extremes. - Michael Kors

So I will say it with relish. Give me a hamburger but hold the lawsuit. - S.I. Hayakawa

If it weren't for my adam's apple, I'd have no shape at all. - Phyllis Diller

I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks. - Totie Fields

Apple: Nutritious lunchtime dessert which children will trade for cupcakes. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

No disease that can be treated by diet should be treated by any other means. - Maimonides

In nothing do men more nearly approach the gods than in giving health to men. - Cicero

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance. - Tim Allen

You know you're a mom when you understand why mama bear's porridge was cold. - Jody Defries

In Hollywood, the women are all peaches. It makes one long for an apple occasionally. - W Somerset Maugham

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie. - Jim Davis

On behalf of every man looking out for every girl, you are the God and weight of her world. - John Mayer

My mom always said, "Don't say if I make it", say, "When I make it!" - Mariah Carey

My own prescription for health is less paperwork and more running barefoot through the grass. - Leslie Grimutter

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks. - Joe E Lewis

The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it. - Jackie Gleason

I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond. - Mae West

I figure if I have my health, can pay the rent and I have my friends, I call it "content." - Lauren Bacall

It was so hot today that Burger King was singing, 'if you want it your way, cook it yourself.' - Johnny Carson

Food: The response Mom usually gives in answer to the question, "What's for dinner tonight?" - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I have done a Hamburger Helper commercial, a Hardees commercial, a McDonalds commercial. American Express commercial. - Luke Benward

When I moved out of my mom's house at 18 I was almost as sad to leave her sewing machine behind as anything else. - Beth Ditto

The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books - how not to eat what you've just learned now to cook. - Andy Rooney

Adversity has the same effect on a man that severe training has on the pugilist: it reduces him to his fighting weight. - Josh Billings

You end up as you deserve. In old age you must put up with the face, the friends, the health, and the children you have earned. - Fay Weldon

It is reasonable to expect the doctor to recognize that science may not have all the answers to problems of health and healing. - Norman Cousins

Health is the finest possession. Contentment is the ultimate wealth. Trustworthy people are the best relatives. Unbinding is the supreme ease. - Buddha

Never play cards with a man called Doc, never eat at a place called Mom's, and never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own. - Nelson Algren

If it's flipping hamburgers at McDonald's, be the best hamburger flipper in the world. Whatever it is you do you have to master your craft. - Snoop Dogg


Fat Friend Prayer

Weather Rock - For Accurate Forecasts

Moses Parting the Ice Field

Nutella Face Lotion

Men in Denim

FearBusters

I Have No Time For Your Kisses, Woman

Here We Goat Again

WatchCat

Disk Drive

Unemployed Politicians

Aye Matey

Redneck Calculator

Pocket Knots

Where Do The Amish Go For A Vacation?

Life Extension

4th Dimension Bookshelf

Water Value

Flexible Toothbrush

Redneck Dent Repair

Veterinarian or Taxidermist?

Same Sex Marriage in Canada

CardboardZilla

Indian Writing