One Way Repairs

Safety doesn't happen by accident. - Unknown

Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident. - Mark Twain

Substance is not enough, accident is also required. - Greek Proverb

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

Giving never happens by accident. It's always intentional. - Amy Grant

Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs. - Ambrose Bierce

Nervous Wreck: What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The shortest distance between two points is usually under repair. - Unknown

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

We all thought we'd have flying cars by now, but we don't. - Dana Brunetti

One way to keep momentum going is to have constantly greater goals. - Michael Korda

I find there is only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people. - Rodney Dangerfield

I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way. - Mark Twain

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car. - Carrie Snow

I aimed at the public's heart and by accident I hit it in the stomach. - Upton Sinclair

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

There is nothing so strong or safe in an emergency of life as the simple truth. - Charles Dickens

Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion. - Mark Twain

I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars... the rest I squandered. - George Best

A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days. - Tim Allen

Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners. - E. Joseph Crossman

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

I slipped at a bus stop; I went one way and my hair went the other. That was the end of my wig. - Tia Carrere

I have to tell them that last night was a shameful train wreck filled with blind cuddly puppies. - Charlie Sheen

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright

One way to sell a consumer something in the future is simply to get his or her permission in advance. - Seth Godin

The greatest pleasure I know is to do a good action by stealth, and to have it found out by accident. - Charles Lamb

My husband is so good at home repairs that they have a special VIP area for him in the emergency room. - Unknown

I'm going to the backseat of my car with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes. - Homer Simpson

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

Faith is a fine invention
When Gentlemen can see -
But Microscopes are prudent
In an Emergency. - Emily Dickinson

I hope to stand firm enough to not go backward, and yet not go forward fast enough to wreck the country's cause. - Abraham Lincoln

There is only one way to happiness, and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will. - Epictetus

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

There's a belonging problem in Hollywood. Who dictates who belongs? The very body who dictates that looks all one way. - Ava DuVernay

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor

Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket, or a holding pattern over Philadelphia. - Judith Viorst

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

A car hits a Jewish man. The paramedic rushes over and says, "Are you comfortable?" The guy says, "I make a good living." - Henny Youngman

A man who is used to acting in one way never changes; he must come to ruin when the times, in changing, no longer are in harmony with his ways. - Niccolo Machiavelli