#1 humor site on the 'net

One Way Repairs

Looks like this car has limited turning capability

One Way Repairs thanks to Wayne Nowazek

QuotaBills
Never insult anyone by accident. - Robert A. Heinlein

Be happy. It's one way of being wise. - Colette

Substance is not enough, accident is also required. - Greek Proverb

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

Auto racing began 5 minutes after the second car was built. - Henry Ford

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck

Giving never happens by accident. It's always intentional. - Amy Grant

The shortest distance between two points is usually under repair. - Unknown

Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg

The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore

I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way. - Mark Twain

I aimed at the public's heart and by accident I hit it in the stomach. - Upton Sinclair

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck

I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars... the rest I squandered. - George Best

You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha

Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners. - E. Joseph Crossman

It's easier to build up a child than it is to repair an adult. Choose your words wisely. - Unknown

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen

If you're not paying for it through the health plan, you pay for it in the emergency room. - David Lehman

I slipped at a bus stop; I went one way and my hair went the other. That was the end of my wig. - Tia Carrere

The lead car is absolutely, truly unique, except for the one behind it which is exactly identical. - Murray Walker

One of the tests of leadership is the ability to recognize a problem before it becomes an emergency. - Arnold H. Glasow

One way to sell a consumer something in the future is simply to get his or her permission in advance. - Seth Godin

If I weren't skateboarding, I'd love to race cars. I like anything that's fast and active. - Ryan Sheckler

My husband is so good at home repairs that they have a special VIP area for him in the emergency room. - Unknown

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

There are two things in this world that don't last long: dogs chasing cars, and pros putting for pars. - Lee Travino

I hope to stand firm enough to not go backward, and yet not go forward fast enough to wreck the country's cause. - Abraham Lincoln

There is only one way to happiness, and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will. - Epictetus

The actual building of roads devoted to motor cars is not for the near future, in spite of many rumors to that effect. - Harper's Weekly

It's a sad day when you find out that it's not accident or fortune but just yourself that kept things from you. - Lillian Hellman

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

My whole body is a wreck. I've injured myself so many times with jujitsu, skateboarding, football. I guess I like to live hard. - Scott Caan

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. - Unknown

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket, or a holding pattern over Philadelphia. - Judith Viorst

There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball,
And that is to have either a clear conscience or none at all. - Ogden Nash

A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt

A man who is used to acting in one way never changes; he must come to ruin when the times, in changing, no longer are in harmony with his ways. - Niccolo Machiavelli


Where White Man Went Wrong

Shimmy Car-nage

Sand Dive

Break Glass Adventure

Chinese Chicken Nuggets

Desert Road Bumps

Subway Swing

Fish Eye Lens

Horse Mask

Chocolate Filling

Mea Culpa Road

Pool Painters

Cocoon Stage

Eye For Coffee

Like No Udder

Egyptian Pyramid Scheme

Hammock Kayak

CARnivore

Alligator Hallucinogens

Step Lover

Iron Horse Carriage

Anon-y-moose

Kids Meal

Close Today