Pickup Bartender

Good wine needs no vine. - French Proverb

Beer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee

Liquor Store: A stupor market - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Gin was mother's milk to her. - George Bernard Shaw

Good wine is a necessity of life. - Thomas Jefferson

Adventure is the champagne of life. - G K Chesterton

Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder. - Addison Mizner

Every cask smells of the wine it contains. - Spanish Proverb

Compromises are for relationships, not wine. - Robert S Caywood

Step aside Coffee. This is a job for Alcohol. - Unknown

Wine is the most civilized thing in the world. - Ernest Hemingway

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. - George Carlin

You're a bartender, y'aint a mortrician. - Archie Bunker

Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world. - Jack Nicholson

There was a sound in their voices which suggested rum. - Robert Louis Sevenson

Bladder: The human apparatus that pays the tax on beer - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If God forbade drinking, would He have made wine so good? - Cardinal Richelieu

Some call it Cocktail Hour. To me, it's a support group. - Unknown

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Wilhelm II

I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw

Stop trying to make everybody happy - you're not tequila. - Unknown

Drinking rum before noon makes you a pirate, not an alcoholic. - Unknown

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields

One martini is all right, two is too many, three is not enough. - James Thurber

Memorial services are the cocktail parties of the geriatric set. - Ralph Richardson

We are all mortal until the first kiss and the second glass of wine. - Eduardo Galeano

I haven't understood a bar of music in my life, but I have felt it. - Igor Stravinsky

Pickup artist: An artist whose specialty is painting pictures of trucks - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy. - Frank Sinatra

A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world. - Louis Pasteur

In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life. - George Best

Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine. - Casablanca

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. - Peter Ustinov

One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts. - Samuel Johnson

I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch. - George Burns

Just as Jesus created wine from water, we humans are capable of transmuting emotion into music. - Carlos Santana

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake. - WC Fields

Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine. - Fran Lebowitz

Nut Bar: someone who has a polar opposite world view which is contrary to your own biased opinions - Debbie Milne

If you have to choose between drinking wine every day or being skinny, which would you choose: Red or White? - Unknown

There is more refreshment and stimulation in a nap, even of the briefest, than in all the alcohol ever distilled. - Ovid

We have embarked upon the world's largest and longest cocktail party, and every issue imaginable is up for grabs. - Geoffrey Moore

I'd learned some things. I knew you weren't supposed to hold a good wine at the top - the paper bag falls off. - Pat Paulsen

Strength is the capacity to break a Hershey bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of the pieces. - Judith Viorst

I have made an important discovery - that alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication. - Oscar Wilde

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

I'm pretty sure that eating chocolate keeps wrinkles away because I have never seen a 10 year old with a Hershey bar and crows feet. - Amy Neftzger

In those days the best painkiller was ice. It wasn't addictive, and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it. - George Burns

Morals are not, like bacon, to be cured by hanging; nor, like wine, to be improved by sea voyages; nor, like honey, to be preserved in cells. - William Taylor

If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - Joe-kster