#1 humor site on the 'net

Pothole Lifeguard

She found a lifeguard job for car pools

Pothole Lifeguard thanks to Wayne Nowazek

To the rescue - helping motorists stranded in spring road potholes

QuotaBills
Just keep swimming. - Finding Nemo

Lifeguard: Beachnut - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Turkish Bath: A pool room - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Only dead fish swim with the stream. - Malcolm Muggeridge

I love shark week, all kids swim for free. - Josh Stern

If your ship doesn't come in, swim out to it. - Jonathan Winters

Water Polo: What horses play in the swimming pool - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If I melt dry ice, can I swim without getting wet? - Steven Wright

One trained dog equals 60 search-and-rescue workers. - Charles Stoehr

This is the place to be - in the land of swimming pools. - David Hockney

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard. - Steven Wright

There are 350 varieties of shark, not counting loan and pool. - L.M. Boyd

No man drowns if he perseveres in praying to God, and can swim. - Russian Proverb

Live in the sunshine
Swim in the sea
Drink the wild air - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Leadership, like swimming, cannot be learned by reading about it. - Henry Mintzberg

To be born in India is to arrive into the world swimming in religion. - Ravi Zacharias

I have spent most of my life playing pool. The rest of it, I have wasted. - Unknown

A dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream. - WC Fields

One of my goals in life is to have the biggest residential pool on the planet. - Drake

Don't be a fish; be a frog. Swim in the water and jump when you hit ground. - Kim Young-ha

Let your hook be always cast. In the pool where you least expect it, will be fish. - Ovid

I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming. - Jimmy Carter

If I swim in the ocean, I have a shark thought. Not a bad one, but just a little one. - Tea Leoni

In matters of style, swim with the current. In matters of principle, stand like a rock. - Thomas Jefferson

It's the Olympics. If you can't get up to swim early in the morning, don't go. - Michael Phelps

I guess you would say I'd be like the Michael Phelps of swimming if he wasn't there. - Ryan Lochte

I drank because I wanted to drown my sorrows, but now the damned things have learned to swim. - Frida Kahlo

I think 99 times and find nothing. I stop thinking, swim in silence, and the truth comes to me. - Albert Einstein

We are our own dragons as well as our own heroes, and we have to rescue ourselves from ourselves. - Tom Robbins

I keep fit. Every morning, I do a hundred laps of an Olympic-sized swimming pool - in a small motor launch. - Peter Cook

If you are in the job for glamour, you're in for the shock of your life. The media is a huge shark pool. - Trisha Goddard

Many people cycle or swim to keep trim. But if swimming is so good for the figure, how do you explain whales? - Charles Saatchi

Some wish to live within the sound of church or chapel bell; I want to run a rescue shop within a yard of hell. - C.T. Studd

For a great gaming experience, make sure the rails, cushion and slate of the pool table are of the best quality. - Unknown

Happiness consists in activity: such is the constitution of our nature; it is a running stream, and not a stagnant pool. - John M. Good

It's better to swim in the sea below
Than to swing in the air and feed the crow,
Says jolly Ned Teach of Bristol. - Benjamin Franklin

The physician should look upon the patient as a besieged city and try to rescue him with every means that art and science place at his command. - Alexander of Tralles

I'll paddle board, swim in the ocean, roll in the sand, soak up the sun, eat good food, be with friends and family and go fishing with my dad. - Behati Prinsloo

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: "President Can't Swim." - Lyndon B. Johnson

Car Pool: Complicated system of transportation where Mom always winds up going the furthest with the biggest bunch of kids who have had the most sugar - Daffynitions joe-ks.com


Restored Beauty

Powerplant Swimsuit Models

Watermelon Cake

Sharkini

Julyed

Filet Minion

Better Singer

Texas Basketball

Grow Food, Not Lawns

Nut Salesman

Long Yellow Things

Ants Know When Something Is Fake

Think Outside

Despicable Wood Stove

Engineering Flowchart

Egotist

Hunter's Dream Wedding

Paddy Field Canal

Grow A Boyfriend

Mars Images

Drumset Motorcycle

Brick Shoes

Custer's Last Stand?

Hand Held Tourist