QuotaBillsI work until beer o'clock. - Stephen King
I like a wine that fights back. - John Steed
Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker. - Ogden Nash
Every cask smells of the wine it contains. - Spanish Proverb
Good friends, like wine, get better with age. - Unknown
Step aside Coffee. This is a job for Alcohol. - Unknown
Wine is the flower in the buttonhole of life. - Werumeus Buning
Draft Dodger: Someone who avoids beer on tap. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Beer: The method of turning grain into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
When life hands you lemons, make whiskey sours. - WC Fields
Everything's better with bacon and red wine. - Dianne Harman
Music is the wine that fills the cup of silence. - Robert Fripp
As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Bladder: The human apparatus that pays the tax on beer - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson
Liquor talks mighty loud when it gets loose from the jug. - Joel C Harris
It was 2:00 p.m., too early for wine but not for chocolate. - Andrea Hurst
Some call it Cocktail Hour. To me, it's a support group. - Unknown
I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper
Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction. - Bob Marley
Drinking rum before noon makes you a pirate, not an alcoholic. - Unknown
One martini is all right, two is too many, three is not enough. - James Thurber
Memorial services are the cocktail parties of the geriatric set. - Ralph Richardson
Champagne for my real friends and real pain for my sham friends. - Tom Waits
I'm aging like fine wine. I'm getting complex and fruity. - Unknown
A raise is like a martini: it elevates the spirit, but only temporarily. - Dan Seligman
I'll have a "Cafe Mocha Vodka Valium Latte" to go, please. - Unknown
Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine. - Casablanca
In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin
If one glass of wine is good for you, just imagine what a whole bottle could do! - Unknown
One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts. - Samuel Johnson
Kidney: 1. Midpoint of a child's leg; 2. An organ used to convert beer into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I'll bring ya a bottle of champagne. Maybe I'll even bring home a whole maggot. - Archie Bunker
New York champagne - that's a phony label. They don't grow raisins in New York. - Archie Bunker
My heart says chocolate and wine but my jeans say, for the love of God women, eat a salad. - Unknown
Measure thy life by loss instead of gain, not by the wine drunk, but the wine poured forth. - Harriet King
I exercise extreme self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast. - WC Fields
When a man who is drinking neat gin starts talking about his mother he is past all argument. - C.S. Forester
Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake. - WC Fields
Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine. - Fran Lebowitz
I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me. - Hunter S Thompson
The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker
You pretty much can't get away from bacon or whiskey in the South. Put a doughnut in it and you'd be good to go. - Hillary Scott
Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe
In those days the best painkiller was ice. It wasn't addictive, and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it. - George Burns
Alcohol is not in my vodkabulary. However, I looked it up on whiskeypedia and learned if you drink too much of it, it's likely tequilya. - Unknown
When I have an idea, I turn down the flame, as if it were a little alcohol stove, as low as it will go. Then it explodes and that is my idea. - Ernest Hemingway
NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown
The simple act of opening a bottle of wine has brought more happiness to the human race than all the collective governments in the history of earth. - Jim Harrison