#1 humor site on the 'net

Race Car Wedding Dress

Colin Turkington cleans up his act before marrying Louise

Race Car Wedding Dress thanks to Roy Turkington

Taking a break from his BTCC winning streak

BTCC - British Touring Car Championship ... Colin Turkington drives a BMW, now racing as eBay Motors

QuotaBills
Afford: Popular type of car - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The most dangerous food is wedding cake. - James Thurber

Chop your own path. Get off the car track. - A.Y. Jackson

Didn't he take the exercise tax off cars? - Archie Bunker

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture. - Phyllis Diller

She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake. - Margot Asquith

Racing is life. Everything else is just... waiting. - Steve McQueen

The Irish are a very popular race - with themselves. - Brendan Behan

Don't overestimate the decency of the human race. - H L Mencken

Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig

The finish line is just the beginning of a whole new race. - Susan Saint James

You should never have more children than you have car windows. - Erma Bombeck

I'll never forget my wedding day... they threw vitamin pills. - Groucho Marx

The race is not always to the swift, but to those who keep on running. - Unknown

Once upon a time, forests were repositories of magic for the human race. - John Burnside

Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another. - Walter Elliott

Cinderella never asked for a prince. She asked for a night off and a dress. - Kiera Cass

A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont

The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat. - Lily Tomlin

The Irish and British, they love satire, it's a large part of the culture. - Ben Nicholson

The end of the human race will be that it will eventually die of civilization. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I don't follow trends. I make each cake for a particular wedding, or event. - Ron Ben-Israel

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. - Erma Bombeck

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. - Prince Philip

Drive-in banks were established so most of the cars today could see their real owners. - E. Joseph Crossman

The clothes in themselves do not make a statement. The woman makes the statement and the dress helps. - Jean Muir

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

A woman's dress should be like a barbed-wire fence: serving its purpose without obstructing the view. - Sophia Loren

Poverty: 1. A state of mind sometimes induced by a neighbour's new car; 2. One thing that money can't buy. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Anyone can get dressed up and glamorous, but it is how people dress in their days off that are the most intriguing. - Alexander Wang

Do you think you're safe in a car with your seatbelt on? Dream on. My friend thought so. Now she's pregnant. - Anke Engelke

A free Negro of the African race is not a 'citizen' within the meaning of the constitution of the United States. - Roger Taney

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. - Garrison Keillor

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. - Erma Bombeck

I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough

If there be a God, I think that what he would like me to do is paint as much of the map of Africa British red as possible. - Cecil Rhodes

If this humor be the safety of our race, then it is due largely to the infusion into the American people of the Irish brain. - William Howard Taft

Tonight we'll be talking to a car designer who's crossed Toyota with Quasimodo and come up with the Hatchback of Notre Dame. - Ronnie Corbett

Contempt for happiness is usually contempt for other people's happiness, and is an elegant disguise for hatred of the human race. - Bertrand Russell

I should have suspected my husband was lazy. On our wedding day, his mother told me: "I'm not losing a son; I'm gaining a couch." - Phyllis Diller


Magnetic Personality

Giant Texas Red Centipede

Snow Barrier

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Buddhist Tempull

Truck Lift Repair

In-Spired Safety Tip

Secruity Parking Spot

Only In Thailand - Time To Clean The Pet Snake

Remote Outdoors

Scaffolding for the Dirt Cheap Contractor

Fix It Later Detour

I Smell A Rat

Adhesive Shade

Be Anything You Want

Tractor Pull

Canadian Ice Shrub

I Eat Soldiers For Breakfast

Toepener

No-Lake Picture

Logging Chairlift

Milkshake Desweetener

Dog Marathon

Global Warming Protest