Redneck Bidet

The secret to humor is surprise. - Aristotle

I live to laugh, and I laugh to live. - Milton Berle

Some laughter comes from escaped horror. - Edward St Aubyn

Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly. - G K Chesterton

The duty of comedy is to correct men by amusing them. - Moliere

Laughter is the shortest distance between two people. - Victor Borge

This is a feminist bookstore. There is no humour section. - John Callahan

A wise man will live as much within his wit as his income. - Philip Dormer Stanhope

Ideas are funny little things. They won't work unless you do. - Unknown

Forgiveness is a funny thing. It warms the heart and cools the sting. - William Arthur Ward

The scariest person in the world is the person with no sense of humor. - Michael J. Fox

A decrepit society shuns humour as a decrepit individual shuns drafts. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I never stole a joke in my life. I just find them before they're lost. - Milton Berle

My way of joking is to tell the truth. It's the funniest joke in the world. - George Bernard Shaw

A daughter is someone you laugh with, dream with, and love with all your heart. - Unknown

Humour is practically the only thing about which the English are utterly serious. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Humor is everywhere in that there's irony in just about anything a human does. - Bill Nye

Blessed is the man who can laugh at himself, for he will never cease to be amused. - Proverb

Comedy's a funny game, it's not a job, it's a vocation - you never stop. - Eric Sykes

There's a fine line between angry and grumpy. Angry isn't nice, but grumpy is funny. - Rick Wakeman

Comedy has to be based on truth. You take the truth and you put a little curlicue at the end. - Sid Caesar

There are three basic rules for great comedy. Unfortunately no-one can remember what they are. - Arthur Smith

I don't think it's possible to have a sense of tragedy without having a sense of humor. - Christopher Hitchens

I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints - the sinners are much more fun. - Billy Joel

Lighten up, just enjoy life, smile more, laugh more, and don't get so worked up about things. - Kenneth Branagh

The beauty of the world has two edges, one of laughter, one of anguish, cutting the heart asunder. - Virginia Woolf

Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back, everything is different. - C S Lewis

Life is a combination of laughter and tears, and it's almost always better to laugh than to cry. - Teresa Medeiros

I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately. - George Carlin

A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It's jolted by every pebble on the road. - Henry Ward Beecher

Two things are important for missionaries: (1) they have a sense of humour; and (2) the have no sense of smell. - Phil Callaway

It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married. - Robert Frost

Men will confess to treason, murder, arson, false teeth, or a wig. How many of them will own up to a lack of humor? - Frank Colby

Women, as they grow older, rely more and more on cosmetics. Men, as they grow older, rely more and more on a sense of humor. - George Jean Nathan

Menopause is thicker than water. When we talk and laugh about it, we learn and relax. It's a life transition, not a disease. - Unknown

She raised us with humor, and she raised us to understand that not everything was going to be great, but how to laugh through it. - Liza Minnelli

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language?
One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap. - Red Skelton

Drink and dance and laugh and lie,
Love, the reeling midnight through,
For tomorrow we shall die!
(But, alas, we never do.) - Dorothy Parker

Wit is the key, I think, to anybody's heart. Show me the person who doesn't like to laugh and I'll show you a person with a toe tag. - Julia Roberts

I like a quiet evening with family or friends over, great food and great discussion, and a lot of laughter. That's really what fills my tank. - Anna Eshoo