Redneck Bucket List
Maslow's hierarchy of needs is pretty easy for Bubba
QuotaBillsPayday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling
I work until beer o'clock. - Stephen King
Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown
Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson
Room service - don't send up any more ice. - WC Fields
If I melt dry ice, can I swim without getting wet? - Steven Wright
Some say the world will end in fire, some say in ice. - Robert Frost
Bladder: The human apparatus that pays the tax on beer - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A diamond is the only kind of ice that keeps a girl warm. - Elizabeth Taylor
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. - Benjamin Franklin
Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Wilhelm II
I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw
I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass. - David Lee Roth
Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown
Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water! - Groucho Marx
I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields
Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson
Life is too short to eat vanilla ice cream and dance with boring men. - Unknown
In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown
The last thing I want to do is hurt you but it's still on the list. - Unknown
Break the ice in a crowded elevator by asking how much everyone weighs. - Bill Murray
In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin
The thinner the ice, the more anxious is everyone to see whether it will bear. - Josh Billins
You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy
Hockey: 1. Mayhem on ice; 2. A form of disorderly conduct in which the score is kept. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
History is merely a list of surprises. It can only prepare us to be surprised yet again. - Kurt Vonnegut
You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx
Everything slows down with age. Except the time it takes cake and ice cream to reach your hips. - John Wagner
We all get the same amount of ice. The rich get it in the summer. The poor get it in the winter. - Bat Masterson
In my mind, I've always been an A-list Hollywood superstar. Y'all just didn't know yet. - Will Smith
Iceomaniac: One who has to go out of their way to step on thin ice to hear a satisfying crunching sound - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy
All the plants in my house are dead - I shot them last night. I was teasing them by watering them with ice cubes. - Steven Wright
Confront your fears, list them, get to know them, and only then will you be able to put them aside and move ahead. - Jerry Gille
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work. - Robert Orben
If the marriage needs help, the answer almost always is have more fun. Drop your list of grievances and go ride a roller coaster. - Garrison Keillor
Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. - George Carlin
Passover and Easter are the only Jewish and Christian holidays that move in sync, like the ice skating pairs we saw during the winter Olympics. - Marvin Olasky
If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - Joe-kster