Redneck Bucket List

Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling

I work until beer o'clock. - Stephen King

Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson

Room service - don't send up any more ice. - WC Fields

If I melt dry ice, can I swim without getting wet? - Steven Wright

Some say the world will end in fire, some say in ice. - Robert Frost

Bladder: The human apparatus that pays the tax on beer - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A diamond is the only kind of ice that keeps a girl warm. - Elizabeth Taylor

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. - Benjamin Franklin

Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Wilhelm II

I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass. - David Lee Roth

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water! - Groucho Marx

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields

Ah, good ol' trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die. - Homer Simpson

Life is too short to eat vanilla ice cream and dance with boring men. - Unknown

In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown

The last thing I want to do is hurt you but it's still on the list. - Unknown

Break the ice in a crowded elevator by asking how much everyone weighs. - Bill Murray

In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin

The thinner the ice, the more anxious is everyone to see whether it will bear. - Josh Billins

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

Hockey: 1. Mayhem on ice; 2. A form of disorderly conduct in which the score is kept. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

History is merely a list of surprises. It can only prepare us to be surprised yet again. - Kurt Vonnegut

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

Everything slows down with age. Except the time it takes cake and ice cream to reach your hips. - John Wagner

We all get the same amount of ice. The rich get it in the summer. The poor get it in the winter. - Bat Masterson

In my mind, I've always been an A-list Hollywood superstar. Y'all just didn't know yet. - Will Smith

Iceomaniac: One who has to go out of their way to step on thin ice to hear a satisfying crunching sound - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

All the plants in my house are dead - I shot them last night. I was teasing them by watering them with ice cubes. - Steven Wright

Confront your fears, list them, get to know them, and only then will you be able to put them aside and move ahead. - Jerry Gille

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work. - Robert Orben

If the marriage needs help, the answer almost always is have more fun. Drop your list of grievances and go ride a roller coaster. - Garrison Keillor

Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. - George Carlin

Passover and Easter are the only Jewish and Christian holidays that move in sync, like the ice skating pairs we saw during the winter Olympics. - Marvin Olasky

If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - Joe-kster