QuotaBillsBeer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee
Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling
Beer: The method of turning grain into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
In skating over thin ice our safety is in our speed. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Some say the world will end in fire, some say in ice. - Robert Frost
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. - Benjamin Franklin
What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith
I don't jog. It makes the ice jump right out of my glass. - David Lee Roth
I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw
Advertising is the rattling of a stick inside a swill-bucket. - George Orwell
Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II
If you're already walking on thin ice, you might as well dance. - Proverb
If you want to make everyone happy, don't be a leader. Sell ice cream. - Steve Jobs
The thinner the ice, the more anxious is everyone to see whether it will bear. - Josh Billins
Don't throw away the old bucket until you know whether the new one holds water. - Swedish Proverb
History is merely a list of surprises. It can only prepare us to be surprised yet again. - Kurt Vonnegut
It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones
I like ice hockey. No one is ever going to ask me to write about that as a metaphor for life. - Steven Pinker
An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown
Growing up, I'd just be at home, playing tennis, spending my allowance on an ice-cream truck. - Venus Williams
Age does not diminish the extreme disappointment of having a scoop of ice cream fall from the cone. - Jim Fiebig
For a list of all the ways technology has failed to improve the quality of life, please press three. - Alice Kahn
I'm going to the Colonel next. I'm gonna get a big bucket of chicken chests and smashed potatoes. - Archie Bunker
You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy
All the plants in my house are dead - I shot them last night. I was teasing them by watering them with ice cubes. - Steven Wright
Confront your fears, list them, get to know them, and only then will you be able to put them aside and move ahead. - Jerry Gille
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin
When I was in boy scouts, I slipped on the ice and hurt my ankle. A little old lady had to help me across the street. - Steven Wright
For all of the fights I have had in my life, both on and off the ice, I have only been in the back of a cop car once. - Tie Domi
Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work. - Robert Orben
If the marriage needs help, the answer almost always is have more fun. Drop your list of grievances and go ride a roller coaster. - Garrison Keillor
Mancation: A man's vacation. Generally includes lots of beer, a Redneck grill, slabs of meat for cooking and a sack of fireworks. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright
My advice to you is not to inquire why or whither, but just enjoy your ice cream while it's on your plate - that's my philosophy. - Thornton Wilder
NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown
New Pasta Diet: Just walk pasta bakery without stopping. Walk pasta candy store without stopping. Walk pasta ice cream shop without stopping. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Hypothesis: 1. First thing a Redneck teenager says to his father on the phone; 2. Hippo, horse; thesis, placing: putting something on a horse. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
Passover and Easter are the only Jewish and Christian holidays that move in sync, like the ice skating pairs we saw during the winter Olympics. - Marvin Olasky
I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle. - Winston Churchill
Homosexuality in Russia is a crime and the punishment is seven years in prison, locked up with the other men. There is a three year waiting list. - Yakov Smirnoff