Redneck Cup Holders

Coffee and love taste best when hot. - German Proverb

A cup of tea would restore my normality. - Douglas Adams

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

Your messages are all the coffee I need. - Unknown

I like my men like I like my coffee. Silent. - Anna Kendrick

How I feel when there is no coffee? DEPRESSO - Unknown

Step aside Coffee. This is a job for Alcohol. - Unknown

Should I kill myself, or have a cup of coffee? - Albert Camus

I have measured out my life with coffee spoons. - T S Eliot

Leanardo De Cappuccino: Founder, coffee shop chain - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I'd rather take coffee than compliments just now. - Louisa May Alcott

Depresso: The feeling you get when you run out of coffee - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Life without books, chocolate and coffee is just useless. - Nadun Lokuliyanage

I think if I were a woman I'd wear coffee as a perfume. - John Van Druten

Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank. - Alphonse Allais

A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems. - Paul Erdos

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

Coffee and chocolate - the inventor of mocha should be sainted. - Cherise Sinclair

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time. - Steven Wright

I never drink coffee at lunch - I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon. - Ronald Reagan

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

You got to have smelt a lot of mule manure before you can sing like a hillbilly. - Hank Williams

If there's no coffee, I'm not getting up. Make Groundhog Day just better. - ethicalbean

He drained the cup of God's wrath bone dry, leaving not a drop for us to drink. - Richard A Bodey

I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn't have one. So I got a cake. - Mitch Hedberg

The less Holy Spirit we have, the more cake and coffee we need to keep the church going. - Reinhard Bonnke

If this is coffee, please bring me some tea. But if this is tea, please bring me some coffee. - Abraham Lincoln

Jitterbug: 1. A Scotchman in front of a pay toilet; 2. Insect that's had too much coffee. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

You haven't had enough coffee until you can thread a sewing machine while it's running. - Unknown

You might be a redneck if your favorite hunting dog has a bigger tombstone than your grandfather. - Jeff Foxworthy

Don't talk to me until I've had my coffee, and then after that still don't talk to me. - Unknown

When asked if my cup is half-full or half-empty my only response is that I am thankful I have a cup. - Unknown

You do not play hockey for good seasons. You play to win the Stanley Cup. It has to be the objective. - Guy Lafleur

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

I went over to the neighbor's and asked to borrow a cup of salt. "What are you making?" "A salt lick." - Steven Wright

The trout enjoys the river,
The whale enjoys the sea,
And dogs love most an old lamp-post,
But you're my cup of tea. - W H Auden

A beautiful woman moved in next door. So I went over and returned a cup of sugar. "You didn't borrow this." "I will." - Steven Wright

Starbucks says they are going to start putting religious quotes on cups. The very first one will say, 'Jesus! This cup is expensive!' - Conan O'Brien

A giraffe's coffee would be cold by the time it reached the bottom of its throat. Ever think about that? No. You only think about yourself. - Unknown