Redneck Flu Shot

Wine is bottled poetry. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Good wine needs no vine. - French Proverb

Save water - drink vodka. - Unknown

Wine is my favorite 4 letter word. - Unknown

Wine and children speak the truth. - Greek Proverb

Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder. - Addison Mizner

Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen

You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker

I like my whiskey old and my women young. - Errol Flynn

When wine goes in strange things come out. - Friedrich Schiller

Life is too short to drink the house wine. - Helen Thomas

Milk without fat is like nonalcoholic Scotch. - Andy Rooney

Step aside Coffee. This is a job for Alcohol. - Unknown

Wine is the most civilized thing in the world. - Ernest Hemingway

When life hands you lemons, make whiskey sours. - WC Fields

Music is the wine that fills the cup of silence. - Robert Fripp

I should never have switched from Scotch to martinis. - Humphrey Bogart

I'm just one stomach flu away from my goal weight. - The Devil Wears Prada

If God forbade drinking, would He have made wine so good? - Cardinal Richelieu

It was 2:00 p.m., too early for wine but not for chocolate. - Andrea Hurst

What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper

Stop trying to make everybody happy - you're not tequila. - Unknown

Drinking rum before noon makes you a pirate, not an alcoholic. - Unknown

You ought to get out of those wet clothes and into a dry martini. - Mae West

We are all mortal until the first kiss and the second glass of wine. - Eduardo Galeano

Too much of anything is bad. Too much of good whisky is barely enough. - Mark Twain

Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. - Pope John XXIII

A raise is like a martini: it elevates the spirit, but only temporarily. - Dan Seligman

I'll have a "Cafe Mocha Vodka Valium Latte" to go, please. - Unknown

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy. - Frank Sinatra

One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts. - Samuel Johnson

Equine Influenza: A viral respiratory disease which causes flu-like symptoms in horses - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron. - Phyllis Diller

I exercise extreme self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast. - WC Fields

I'm like old wine. They don't bring me out very often - but I'm well preserved. - Rose Kennedy

When a man who is drinking neat gin starts talking about his mother he is past all argument. - C.S. Forester

I don't want a flu jab. I like getting flu. It gives me something else to complain about. - David Letterman

Jameson's Irish Whiskey really does improve with age: the older I get the more I like it. - Bob Monkhouse

Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism. - Carl Jung

When the clergyman's daughter
Drinks nothing but water
She's certain to finish on gin. - Rudyard Kipling

Milk is the drink of babies, tea the drink of women, water the drink of beasts, and wine is the drink of the gods. - John S Blackie

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

You pretty much can't get away from bacon or whiskey in the South. Put a doughnut in it and you'd be good to go. - Hillary Scott

Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe

Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown

Alcohol is not in my vodkabulary. However, I looked it up on whiskeypedia and learned if you drink too much of it, it's likely tequilya. - Unknown