Redneck Flu Shot

Wine is bottled poetry. - Robert Louis Stevenson

In wine, there is truth. - Pliny the Elder

I like a wine that fights back. - John Steed

Gin was mother's milk to her. - George Bernard Shaw

Good wine is a necessity of life. - Thomas Jefferson

Wine is my favorite 4 letter word. - Unknown

When the wine is in, the wit is out. - English Proverb

Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker. - Ogden Nash

Every cask smells of the wine it contains. - Spanish Proverb

Step aside Coffee. This is a job for Alcohol. - Unknown

Wine is the flower in the buttonhole of life. - Werumeus Buning

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. - George Carlin

What whiskey will not cure, there is no cure for. - Irish Proverb

I should never have switched from Scotch to martinis. - Humphrey Bogart

I'm just one stomach flu away from my goal weight. - The Devil Wears Prada

The fountain of youth is a mixture of gin and vermouth. - Cole Porter

Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson

It was 2:00 p.m., too early for wine but not for chocolate. - Andrea Hurst

What two ideas are more inseparable than Beer and Britannia? - Sydney Smith

Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction. - Bob Marley

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields

One martini is all right, two is too many, three is not enough. - James Thurber

Memorial services are the cocktail parties of the geriatric set. - Ralph Richardson

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

We are all mortal until the first kiss and the second glass of wine. - Eduardo Galeano

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy. - Frank Sinatra

You can lead a horse to water but I'd rather ride it to the liquor store. - Wayne Nowazek

If one glass of wine is good for you, just imagine what a whole bottle could do! - Unknown

One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts. - Samuel Johnson

Kidney: 1. Midpoint of a child's leg; 2. An organ used to convert beer into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

You call this a party? The beer is warm, the women cold and I'm hot under the collar. - Groucho Marx

I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch. - George Burns

When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks. - George Burns

My heart says chocolate and wine but my jeans say, for the love of God women, eat a salad. - Unknown

I'm like old wine. They don't bring me out very often - but I'm well preserved. - Rose Kennedy

When a man who is drinking neat gin starts talking about his mother he is past all argument. - C.S. Forester

Just as Jesus created wine from water, we humans are capable of transmuting emotion into music. - Carlos Santana

Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine. - Fran Lebowitz

When the clergyman's daughter
Drinks nothing but water
She's certain to finish on gin. - Rudyard Kipling

I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me. - Hunter S Thompson

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

There is more refreshment and stimulation in a nap, even of the briefest, than in all the alcohol ever distilled. - Ovid

Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw

The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker

It was so quiet, a reservation kind of quiet, where you can hear somebody drinking whiskey on the rocks three miles away. - Sherman Alexie

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila. - Mitch Ratcliffe

Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - Joe-kster