Redneck Wiener Roast

She did not so much cook as assassinate food. - Storm Jameson

Char: Common method of cooking over a campfire - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food. - WC Fields

Poultry is for the cook what canvas is for the painter. - Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin

Jello: The only food your husband has ever learned to cook - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Hot Dog: The only animal that feeds the hand that bites it - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Wiener: The first to cross the line in a Mexican horse race - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I'm a terrible cook, but I make very good lobster salad. - Nancy Carell

My wife's such a bad cook, the dog begs for Alka-Seltzer. - Rodney Dangerfield

Everyone makes fun of the Redneck until the Zombie Apocalypse. - Unknown

In France, cooking is a serious art form and a national sport. - Julia Child

Cooking certain dishes, like roast pork, reminds me of my mother. - Maya Angelou

Music with dinner is an insult both to the cook and the violinist. - G K Chesterton

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you didn't cook it! - Gordon Ramsay

We are seldom aware of what's cooking until the pot boils over. - Amish Saying

Lawsuit: a machine you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce

Arbitrator: A cook that leaves Arby's to work for McDonald's. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Cooking Tip: Wrap turkey leftovers in aluminum foil and throw them out. - Nicole Hollander

Govern a great nation as you would cook a small fish. Do not overdo it. - Lao Tzu

Advice is like cooking - you should try it first before you feed it to others. - Unknown

Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. - Ambrose Bierce

A highbrow is the kind of person who looks at a sausage and thinks of Picasso. - Alan P Herbert

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

The only good thing about him is his cook. The world visits his dinners, not him. - Moliere

When men reach their sixties and retire, they go to pieces. Women go right on cooking. - Gail Sheehy

A recipe is only a theme, which an intelligent cook can play each time with a variation. - Madame Benoit

If you meet someone who can cook and do housework, don't hesitate a minute - marry him! - Rita Rudner

From an early age I understood that cooking was never going to be a job, it's a passion. - Gordon Ramsay

I prefer Hostess fruit pies to pop-up toaster tarts because they don't require as much cooking. - Carrie Snow

In the words of Harry S. Truman, "If it's too hot in the kitchen, stay away from the cook." - Archie Bunker

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

I'm not always optimistic. You wouldn't have all cylinders cooking if you were always like Mary Poppins. - Carol Burnett

What my mother believed about cooking is that if you worked hard and prospered, someone else would do it for you. - Nora Ephron

The wonderful world of home appliances now makes it possible to cook indoors with charcoal and outdoors with gas. - Bill Vaughan

The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books - how not to eat what you've just learned now to cook. - Andy Rooney

An expert is like the bottom of a double boiler. It shoots off a lot of steam, but it never really knows what's cooking. - Unknown

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

Mancation: A man's vacation. Generally includes lots of beer, a Redneck grill, slabs of meat for cooking and a sack of fireworks. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I cook croquetas, and I eat jamon. I keep my diet 100% Mediterranean and drink my Rioja. In that sense, I have a piece of Spain in West Hollywood. - Paz Vega