Restored Beauty

I can't brain today. I have the dumb. - Unknown

The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

Brain: An apparatus with which we think we think. - Ambrose Bierce

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

He has a brain like Einstein's - dead since 1955. - Gene Perret

I am dying from the treatment of too many physicians. - Alexander The Great

Nursing would be a dream job if there were no doctors. - Gerhard Kocher

Tea is the magic key to the vault where my brain is kept. - Frances Hardinge

About half my time is spent on business operation type stuff. - Mark Zuckerberg

Medicine is a science of uncertainty and an art of probability. - William Osler

Growth for the sake of growth is the ideology of the cancer cell. - Edward Abbey

I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body. - Winston Bennett

I wanted to be a brain surgeon, but I had a bad habit of dropping things. - Gilbert Gottfried

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the Doctor's book. - Irish Proverb

A woman doctor is only good for women's problems - like your groinocology - Archie Bunker

If you are too smart to pay the doctor, you had better be too smart to get ill. - African Proverb

Barium: 1. What Doctors do when treatment fails; 2. What you do when CPR fails. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Oh, when I was a kid, I was ugly. When I was born, the doctor smacked my mother. - Rodney Dangerfield

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

Health care's not about insurance! Health care's about getting treatment. - P.J. O'Rourke

The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures the disease. - Voltaire

Nothing so clearly discovers a spiritual man as his treatment of an erring brother. - Augustine

Grave: A place in which the dead are laid to await the coming of the medical student - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

No, Doctor, I don't want to grow young again. I just want to keep on growing old. - Madame de Rothschild

Physiology is the stepchild of medicine. That is why Cinderella often turns out the queen. - Martin H. Fischer

I've just become a pensioner so I've started saving up for my own hospital trolley. - Tom Baker

Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon. - Dag Hammarskjold

When I was born the Doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!" - Rodney Dangerfield

We cannot embrace God's forgiveness if we are so busy clinging to past wounds and nursing old grudges. - T D Jakes

The human brain starts working the moment you are born and never stops until you stand up to speak in public. - George Jessel

The doctor sees all the weakness of mankind, the lawyer all the wickedness, the theologian all the stupidity. - Arthur Schopenhauer

Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing. - Ben Hecht

My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already. - Milton Berle

Medicine is the restoration of discordant elements; sickness is the discord of the elements infused into the living body. - Leonardo da Vinci

Only one rule in medical ethics need concern you: that action on your part which best conserves the interest of your patient. - Martin H. Fischer

I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman

A doctor must work eighteen hours a day and seven days a week. If you cannot console yourself to this, get out of the profession. - Martin H. Fischer

The Pentagon still has not given a name to the Iraqi war. Somehow 'Operation Re-elect Bush' doesn't seem to be popular. - Jay Leno

When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and told my father, "We did everything we could... but he pulled through." - Rodney Dangerfield

From lessening negativity to boosting creativity, hiking in fresh air actually boosts brain power and can help certain parts of the brain grow. - Meredith Carey