Rethink Your Drink

He was gotten in drink. - William Shakespeare

I drink therefore I am. - WC Fields

Always drink upstream from the herd. - Will Rogers

The piano has been drinking, not me. - Tom Waits

Drink triple, see double, act single. - Unknown

Come quickly, I am drinking the stars. - Dom Perignon

I drink to make other people interesting. - Groucho Marx

A balanced diet is chocolate in both hands. - Unknown

My diet is like Atkins, but with the carbs. - BJ Penn

I drink to make other people more interesting. - Ernest Hemingway

I seldom took a drink on the set before 9 a.m. - WC Fields

Those who drink to forget, please pay in advance. - Irish Saying

If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt. - Dean Martin

The Irish ignore anything they can't drink or punch. - James Boswell

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. - Henny Youngman

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper

Kindness is like sugar, It makes life taste a little sweeter. - Unknown

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. - English Proverb

Drink because you are happy, but never because you are miserable. - G K Chesterton

Nothing lasts forever, so live it up, drink it down, laugh it off. - Unknown

You can't drink all day if you don't start in the morning. - Founder's Breakfast Stout

I don't diet, I just don't eat as much as I'd like to. - Linda Evangelista

In heaven there is no beer...
That's why we drink ours here. - Unknown

A gourmet who thinks of calories is like a tart who looks at her watch. - James Beard

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. - WC Fields

I don't have a drinking problem. Except when I can't get a drink. - Tom Waits

I never drink coffee at lunch - I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon. - Ronald Reagan

Watermelon - it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face. - Enrico Caruso

Man may be the captain of his fate, but is also the victim of his blood sugar. - Wilfrid G. Oakley

I saw a notice which said "Drink Canada Dry" and I've just started. - Brendan Behan

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time. - Nancy Astor

Diabetes is all about insulin levels and sugar levels and what you put in your body. - Jay Cutler

People who drink to drown their sorrow should be told that sorrow knows how to swim. - Ann Landers

I don't smoke dope, I don't drink bourbon. All I want to do is shake my turban. - Peter Singh

I'm a Catholic and I can't commit suicide, but I plan to drink myself to death. - Jack Kerouac

A little learning is a dangerous thing
Drink deep, or taste not the Pierian spring. - Alexander Pope

I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch. - George Burns

I exercise extreme self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast. - WC Fields

Even though a number of people have tried, no one has yet found a way to drink for a living. - Jean Kerr

I drink maple syrup. Then I'm hyper so I just run around like crazy and work it all off. - Rachel McAdams

When a man who is drinking neat gin starts talking about his mother he is past all argument. - C.S. Forester

The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day you're off it. - Jackie Gleason

If leeches ate peaches instead of my blood,
then I would be free to drink tea in the mud! - Emilie Autumn

A little girl is sugar and spice and everything nice - especially when she's taking a nap. - Unknown

My grandfather is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle. - Henny Youngman

I'm on a strict liquid diet: Mimosas for breakfast, Margaritas for lunch, Martinis for dinner. - Unknown

During World War II children were not allowed to trick or treat because there was a sugar shortage. - Linda Bozzo

There's no point in wasting calories on cheap chocolate, always opt for the darkest and richest. - Nanci Rathbun

The drink and I have been friends for so long, it would be a pity for me to leave without one last kiss. - Turlough O'Carolan

My wife is on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight, but she can sure climb a tree. - Henny Youngman

I blend my green drink every morning. I also fix my son a full-on American breakfast with bacon and toast. - Liz Phair

While we drink, and call for garlands, for perfumes and for maidens, old age is creeping on us unperceived. - Juvenal

If you have to choose between drinking wine every day or being skinny, which would you choose: Red or White? - Unknown

I'd hate to be an alcoholic with Alzheimer's. Imagine needing a drink and forgetting where you put it. - George Carlin

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine

Bank of America is to sweetheart loans and Democratic Party payoffs as Paula Deen is to sugar and bacon grease. - Michelle Malkin

My illness is due to my doctor's insistence that I drink milk, a whitish fluid they force down helpless babies. - WC Fields

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books - how not to eat what you've just learned now to cook. - Andy Rooney

The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth. - George Burns

How come if you mix flour and water together you get glue? And when you add eggs and sugar you get cake? Where does the glue go? - Rita Rudner

Live in each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign yourself to the influences of each. - Henry David Thoreau

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd druther not. - Mark Twain

A woman should never be seen eating or drinking, unless it be lobster salad and Champagne, the only true feminine and becoming viands. - George G. Byron

Alcohol is not in my vodkabulary. However, I looked it up on whiskeypedia and learned if you drink too much of it, it's likely tequilya. - Unknown

A beautiful woman moved in next door. So I went over and returned a cup of sugar. "You didn't borrow this." "I will." - Steven Wright

Advice from a tree:
- Stand tall and proud
- Go out on a limb
- Remember your roots
- Drink plenty of water
- Enjoy the view - Unknown