#1 humor site on the 'net

Rethink Your Drink

How much sugar in beverages and sodas?

Rethink Your Drink thanks to Wayne Nowazek

Nutrition calculator for those soon to go on a diet

Sugar content in drinks... Reassessing your daily intake of calories
Looks like someone forgot to take the sugar out of the water!

QuotaBills
Life is too short to be on a diet. - Taylor J Reid

Always drink upstream from the herd. - Will Rogers

The piano has been drinking, not me. - Tom Waits

Drink triple, see double, act single. - Unknown

My drinking team has a sailing problem. - Unknown

Work is the curse of the drinking class. - Oscar Wilde

Laugh a lot. It burns a lot of calories. - Jessica Simpson

Sometimes too much drink is barely enough. - Mark Twain

A balanced diet is chocolate in both hands. - Unknown

I drink to make other people more interesting. - Ernest Hemingway

I seldom took a drink on the set before 9 a.m. - WC Fields

Zigzag: The shortest distance between two drinks - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Those who drink to forget, please pay in advance. - Irish Saying

Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow you may diet. - Unknown

If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt. - Dean Martin

If stress burned calories, I'd be a supermodel. - Unknown

I've probably tried every fad diet in the world. - Jenna Ushkowitz

A balanced diet is a Cracker Jack cookie in each hand. - Joe-kster

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat. - Erma Bombeck

Teaching has ruined more American novelists than drink. - Gore Vidal

The Irish ignore anything they can't drink or punch. - James Boswell

I don't trust any diet that doesn't allow sugar. - Bethenny Frankel

The cardiologist's diet: - If it tastes good, spit it out. - Unknown

Say anything that you like about me except that I drink water. - WC Fields

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. - English Proverb

Live in the sunshine
Swim in the sea
Drink the wild air - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Nothing lasts forever, so live it up, drink it down, laugh it off. - Unknown

You can't drink all day if you don't start in the morning. - Founder's Breakfast Stout

Whatsoever was the father of a disease, an ill diet was the mother. - George Herbert

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. - WC Fields

I never drink coffee at lunch - I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon. - Ronald Reagan

Watermelon - it's a good fruit. You eat, you drink, you wash your face. - Enrico Caruso

No disease that can be treated by diet should be treated by any other means. - Maimonides

Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies. - Nelson Mandela

Everybody should believe in something; I believe I'll have another drink. - Unknown

The majority of my diet is made up of the foods that my kid didn't finish. - Carrie Underwood

I am on a ketos diet so I avoid sugar, dairy products, wheat, grain or pulses. - Puneet Issar

Getting information off the Internet is like taking a drink from a fire hydrant. - Mitchell Kapor

I saw a notice which said "Drink Canada Dry" and I've just started. - Brendan Behan

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time. - Nancy Astor

I only take a drink on two occasions - when I'm thirsty and when I'm not. - Brendan Behan

He drained the cup of God's wrath bone dry, leaving not a drop for us to drink. - Richard A Bodey

I don't smoke dope, I don't drink bourbon. All I want to do is shake my turban. - Peter Singh

I exercise extreme self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast. - WC Fields

I drink maple syrup. Then I'm hyper so I just run around like crazy and work it all off. - Rachel McAdams

When a man who is drinking neat gin starts talking about his mother he is past all argument. - C.S. Forester

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks. - Joe E Lewis

Bad Luck: To have thirteen people seated at the table when you’re paying for the drinks - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I don't drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs. - Robert Downey Jr.

There's no point in wasting calories on cheap chocolate, always opt for the darkest and richest. - Nanci Rathbun

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass! - Rodney Dangerfield

If I go on a diet and work out, I'm always in a bad mood. I'd rather be a little heavier but nice. - Salma Hayek

While we drink, and call for garlands, for perfumes and for maidens, old age is creeping on us unperceived. - Juvenal

Freedom is like drink. If you take any at all, you might as well take enough to make you happy for a while. - Finley P Dunne

If you have to choose between drinking wine every day or being skinny, which would you choose: Red or White? - Unknown

I'd hate to be an alcoholic with Alzheimer's. Imagine needing a drink and forgetting where you put it. - George Carlin

What some call health, if purchased by perpetual anxiety about diet, isn't much better than tedious disease. - Alexander Pope

If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer. - Clement Freud

Milk is the drink of babies, tea the drink of women, water the drink of beasts, and wine is the drink of the gods. - John S Blackie

I don't really drink sodas, but when I have popcorn or pizza I need a little. It's the perfect combination. - Alessandra Ambrosio

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin

The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker

If you maintain a healthy diet, or at least are smart about your food choices, you'll still see the pounds come off. - Misty May-Treanor

It was so quiet, a reservation kind of quiet, where you can hear somebody drinking whiskey on the rocks three miles away. - Sherman Alexie

I can remember a reporter asking me for a quote, and I didn't know what a quote was. I thought it was some kind of a soft drink. - Joe DiMaggio

The call of the yellow-billed cuckoo of North America is often mistaken for a bloodhound drinking a bowl of milk. He goes coulp coulp coulp. - Will Cuppy

A beautiful woman moved in next door. So I went over and returned a cup of sugar. "You didn't borrow this." "I will." - Steven Wright

New Pasta Diet: Just walk pasta bakery without stopping. Walk pasta candy store without stopping. Walk pasta ice cream shop without stopping. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

When I get through tearing a lobster apart, or one of those tender West Coast octopuses, I feel like I had a drink from the fountain of youth. - Joseph Mitchell


Shot Glasses

Men in Denim

Chocolate Couch

Ant Attack

Extreme Pressure Cooker

Just Thinking

Nothing Wrong Picture

Lipstick Dog

Hair Strengthener

Whale Photobomb

World Peas

Hide and Seek

Hoodie Onesy

Going Around In Circles

Whiskey Jig

Redneck Mercedes

Hala Fruit

Hydro Water Power

Selfie Shoes

Tons Of Anarchy

Science World

Da Hood Shirt

What Do You See? - Part III

ThaiTanic