QuotaBillsMy parents put a live teddy bear in my crib. - Woody Allen
So we get the chinks we will bear the stinks. - English Proverb
I can't win. Love is Russian Roulette for me. - Freddie Mercury
Feminism is a wonderful idea until the car goes wrong. - Nicola Zweig
All the real things in Russia are done in the villages. - Ernest Poole
Russia is a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma. - Winston Churchill
Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. - Erma Bombeck
In Russia, if a male athlete loses he becomes a female athlete. - Yakov Smirnoff
Living with a conscience is like driving a car with the brakes on. - Budd Schulberg
The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it. - Dudley Moore
To attract men, I wear a perfume called "New Car Interior". - Rita Rudner
A private railroad car is not an acquired taste. One takes to it immediately. - Eleanor R. Belmont
The greatest test of courage on earth is to bear defeat without losing heart. - Robert Ingersoll
Bulls and bears aren't responsible for as many stock losses as bum steers. - Olin Miller
It's not the bulls or the bears you need to avoid, it's the bum steers. - Chuck Hillis
Philosophy may teach us to bear with equanimity the misfortunes of our neighbors. - Oscar Wilde
You don't have to carry a designer bag that costs more than a car to look cool. - Kesha
Human beings can't bear silence. It would mean that they would bear themselves. - Pascal Mercier
A bear can juggle and stand on a ball and he's talented, but he's not famous. - Kim Kardashian
I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push. - Rodney Dangerfield
In America, you can always find a party. In Soviet Russia, the Party can always find you. - Yakov Smirnoff
The dent in his car is hardly cold and he's coming over here to claim his pound of fish. - Archie Bunker
They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times. - Tim Allen
Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone... when I came back the entire area was missing. - Steven Wright
A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. - Peter DeVries
The ideal man bears the accidents of life with dignity and grace, making the best of circumstances. - Aristotle
I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving. - Steven Wright
I took a speed reading course and read "War and Peace" in twenty minutes. It involves Russia. - Woody Allen
Ex-Presidents of the United States get state subsidies. Not so in Russia. You get no government support. - Mikhail Gorbachev
My favorite animal is a polar bear. They're going extinct, and I really don't want that to happen. - Quvenzhane Wallis
Many commit the same crime with very different results. One bears a cross for his crime, the other a crown. - Juvenal
When walking, you see things that you miss in a motor car or on the train. You give your mind space to ponder. - Tom Hodgkinson
The vine bears three kinds of grapes: the first of pleasure, the second of intoxication, the third of disgust. - Diogenes
I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone. - Steven Wright
I do get scared of the dentist, so a drive-through dentist might make me feel more at home. If I got to stay in my car. - Jessica Pare
I'm not a car guy. The subway gets me where I need to go efficiently and cheaply, and I don't worry about traffic. - Joe Scarborough
It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. - Ben Bergor
A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. - Theodore Roosevelt
Join voices, all ye living souls: ye birds,
That singing up to heaven-gate ascend,
Bear on your wings and in your notes his praise. - John Milton
When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Steven Wright