QuotaBillsIn wine, there is truth. - Pliny the Elder
Good wine is a necessity of life. - Thomas Jefferson
Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker. - Ogden Nash
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown
You can never buy beer, you just rent it. - Archie Bunker
I like my whiskey old and my women young. - Errol Flynn
Life is too short to drink the house wine. - Helen Thomas
We only serve fine wine. Did you bring any? - Unknown
Compromises are for relationships, not wine. - Robert S Caywood
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. - George Carlin
Talking to you is like casting pearls into wine. - Archie Bunker
Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world. - Jack Nicholson
Everything's better with bacon and red wine. - Dianne Harman
Music is the wine that fills the cup of silence. - Robert Fripp
What whiskey will not cure, there is no cure for. - Irish Proverb
As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Drown in a vat of whiskey? Oh death, where is thy sting? - WC Fields
I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper
Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Wilhelm II
I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw
Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II
Men are like wine. Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. - Pope John XXIII
I'll have a "Cafe Mocha Vodka Valium Latte" to go, please. - Unknown
To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems. - Homer Simpson
A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world. - Louis Pasteur
In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol - it was the worst 20 minutes of my life. - George Best
If one glass of wine is good for you, just imagine what a whole bottle could do! - Unknown
One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts. - Samuel Johnson
Kidney: 1. Midpoint of a child's leg; 2. An organ used to convert beer into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I'll bring ya a bottle of champagne. Maybe I'll even bring home a whole maggot. - Archie Bunker
New York champagne - that's a phony label. They don't grow raisins in New York. - Archie Bunker
Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke
Why is it that everybody's suing the tobacco companies and not the alcohol companies? - Donald Trump
Measure thy life by loss instead of gain, not by the wine drunk, but the wine poured forth. - Harriet King
An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown
Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake. - WC Fields
Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine. - Fran Lebowitz
Age is just a number. It's totally irrelevant unless, of course, you happen to be a bottle of wine. - Joan Collins
There is more refreshment and stimulation in a nap, even of the briefest, than in all the alcohol ever distilled. - Ovid
Milk is the drink of babies, tea the drink of women, water the drink of beasts, and wine is the drink of the gods. - John S Blackie
Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. - George Carlin
I'd learned some things. I knew you weren't supposed to hold a good wine at the top - the paper bag falls off. - Pat Paulsen
You pretty much can't get away from bacon or whiskey in the South. Put a doughnut in it and you'd be good to go. - Hillary Scott
It was so quiet, a reservation kind of quiet, where you can hear somebody drinking whiskey on the rocks three miles away. - Sherman Alexie
I have made an important discovery - that alcohol, taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication. - Oscar Wilde
In those days the best painkiller was ice. It wasn't addictive, and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it. - George Burns
Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown
Alcohol is not in my vodkabulary. However, I looked it up on whiskeypedia and learned if you drink too much of it, it's likely tequilya. - Unknown
If you sang "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" and counted all the numbers mentioned throughout the entire song, it would add up to 14,850. - Joe-kster