#1 humor site on the 'net

Slip Sliding Away

Roof snow clearance safety - reaching a point of no return

Slip Sliding Away thanks to Sandy Burpee

QuotaBills
Chili: Edible weather - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Weather forecast for tonight: dark. - George Carlin

I used to be Snow White, but I drifted. - Mae West

Where does the white go when the snow melts? - Hugh Kieffer

Climate is what we expect. Weather is what we get. - Mark Twain

Germany is a fortress, but it is a fortress without a roof. - Franklin D Roosevelt

There is no friend like a sister, in calm or stormy weather. - Christina Rossetti

It is best to read the weather forecasts before we pray for rain. - Mark Twain

This is perfect weather for today's game. Not a breath of air. - Curt Gowdy

A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but you mean your mother. - Unknown

Jon Snow: I'm not afraid to die.
Mormont: Nor life, I hope. - George R.R. Martin

Conversation about the weather is the last refuge of the unimaginative. - Oscar Wilde

Bananosecond: Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

She walked across the ballroom as if she were trudging through deep snow. - Noel Coward

The harpsichord sounds like two skeletons copulating on a corrugated roof. - Thomas Beecham

Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine. - Anthony J. D'Angelo

As soon go kindle fire with snow, as seek to quench the fire of love with words. - William Shakespeare

The bird, the bee, the running child are all the same to the sliding glass door. - Demetri Martin

It is only in sorrow bad weather masters us; in joy we face the storm and defy it. - Amelia Barr

Advice from your friends is like the weather, some of it is good, some of it is bad. - Unknown

A slip of the foot you may soon recover, but a slip of the tongue you may never get over. - Benjamin Franklin

I walk around like everything if fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off. - Unknown

Let's get an extended weather forecast from a jittery, inconsistent, reddish brown rodent. - Unknown

There's one good thing about snow: it makes your lawn look as nice as your neighbor's. - Clyde Moore

Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. - George Carlin

Do not trust your memory; it is a net full of holes; the most beautiful prizes slip through it. - George Duhamel

Just 'cause there's snow in the basement don't mean there ain't no fire in the roof! - Archie Bunker

Be careful not to complain about anything, even the weather, since I am the Author of your circumstances. - Sarah Young

Advice is like snow, the softer it falls the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper it sinks into the mind. - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Lord, if it's not your will, let it slip through my grasp. And give me the peace not to worry about it. - Tony A. Gaskins Jr.

A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain. - Robert Frost

Courage is not the towering oak that sees storms come and go; it is the fragile blossom that opens in the snow. - Alice M Swaim

One has to secrete a jelly in which to slip quotations down people's throats, and one always secretes too much jelly. - Virginia Woolf

They invented the three-day bank holiday weekend because you can't lump all the bad weather into just Saturday and Sunday. - Unknown

Life is no different than the weather. Not only is it unpredictable, but it shows us a new perspective of the world every day. - Suzy Kassem

Two may talk together under the same roof for many years, yet never really meet; and two others at first speech are old friends. - Mary Catherwood

Don't knock the weather. Nine-tenths of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in a while. - Kin Hubbard

The trouble with weather forecasting is that it's right too often for us to ignore it, and wrong too often for us to rely on it. - Patrick Young

The long, dull, monotonous years of middle-aged prosperity or middle-aged adversity are excellent campaigning weather for the devil. - C S Lewis

NBC News just called it "The Great Freeze" - coldest weather in years. Is our country still spending money on the global warming hoax? - Donald Trump


False Teeth

2021 Hooters Owl and Birds of Prey Calendars

Rabbit or Duck?

Radar Replacement

I Shoot People!

Evolution and Philosophy

Owl Get Around To It

Redneck Piton

The World Is Going Down The Drain

First Dodge Ram

Moldy Bible

Aussie Definition of 'Lucky'

Church on Wheels

Hungry Tree

How We Played Online Before The Internet

Soda Bottle Boat

Princess Parking

Perpetual Motion

Math Opinion

Redneck Bull-Only Carrier

Creative Clothing

Re-Ewes Me

Owlympics Bobsled

4 Men, 1 Face