Something Witty

A witty saying proves nothing. - Voltaire

Wit is the lowest form of humor. - Alexander Pope

Diets are mainly food for thought. - N Wylie Jones

Heresy is another word for freedom of thought. - Graham Greene

My train of thought derailed. There were no survivors. - Unknown

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. - Steven Wright

Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind. - Terry Pratchett

I didn't know he was dead; I thought he was British. - Unknown

You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought. - Princess Leia

How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign? - George Carlin

Panic at the thought of doing a thing is a challenge to do it. - Henry S. Haskins

Truth and right are above utility in all realms of thought and action. - Charles William Eliot

I always thought a yard was three feet, then I started mowing the lawn. - C.E. Cowman

Symptoms are the body's mother tongue; signs are in a foreign language. - John Brown

Wit is a sword; it is meant to make people feel the point as well as see it. - G K Chesterton

It is often a sign of wit not to show it, and not to see that others want it. - Suzanne Necker

I got something important here to read and sign and I gotta consecrate on that. - Archie Bunker

I have always thought that foreign-policy idealism has to be tempered with realism. - William Hague

If you're not failing now and again, it's a sign you're playing it safe. - Woody Allen

No dignity, no learning, no force of character, can make any stand against good wit. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another. - William James

People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid. - Soren Kierkegaard

I'm sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I thought you already knew. - Unknown

The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory. - Paul Fix

I thought I knew Texas pretty well, but I had no notion of its size until I campaigned it. - Ann Richards

If I had a flower for every time I thought of you... I could walk through my garden forever. - Alfred Lord Tennyson

Eddie discovered one of his childhood's great truths. Grownups are the real monsters, he thought. - Stephen King

I got all the schooling any actress needs. That is, I learned to write well enough to sign contracts. - Hermione Gingold

I never thought of being blind as a disadvantage, and I never thought of being black as a disadvantage. - Stevie Wonder

It is better to remain silent at the risk of being thought a fool, than to talk and remove all doubt of it. - Maurice Switzer

The average pencil is seven inches long, with just a half-inch eraser - in case you thought optimism was dead. - Robert Brault

When I was young I thought that money was the most important thing in life; now that I am old I know that it is. - Oscar Wilde

Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you're riding through the ruts, don't complicate your mind. - Bob Marley

Who is apt, on occasion, to assign a multitude of reasons when one will do? This is a sure sign of weakness in argument. - Harriet Martineau

Ugarte: "You despise me, don't you?"
Rick Blaine: "If I gave you any thought I probably would." - Rick Blaine

It takes but one positive thought when given a chance to survive and thrive to overpower an entire army of negative thoughts. - Robert H. Schuller

Friendship... is born at the moment when one man says to another "What! You too? I thought that no one but myself..." - C S Lewis

The greatest sign of success for a teacher is to be able to say, "The children are now working as if I did not exist." - Maria Montessori

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? - George Carlin

Wit is the key, I think, to anybody's heart. Show me the person who doesn't like to laugh and I'll show you a person with a toe tag. - Julia Roberts