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Something Witty

A brewhouse that hires thought-provoking employees

Something Witty thanks to Barry McCartney

Business was slow at the bar that day

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Silence is the wit of fools. - Anatole France

Wit is the lowest form of humor. - Alexander Pope

Scholarly Debate: Feud for thought - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Words are the small change of thought. - Jules Renard

Thought, unassisted by learning, is dangerous. - Confucius

Think like a man of action, act like a man of thought. - Henri Louis Bergson

A wit should be no more sincere than a woman constant. - William Congreve

Insurrection of thought always precedes insurrection of arms. - Wendell Phillips

You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty. - Sacha Guitry

Whatever your work, dignify it with your best thought and effort. - Esther B York

I was so drunk, I thought a tube of toothpaste was astronaut food. - Will Ferell

I always thought a yard was three feet, then I started mowing the lawn. - C.E. Cowman

To achieve the marvelous, it is precisely the unthinkable that must be thought. - Tom Robbins

In conversation, humor is worth more than wit and easiness more than knowledge. - George Herbert

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

If I swim in the ocean, I have a shark thought. Not a bad one, but just a little one. - Tea Leoni

Freedom rings when you realize you can become what you never thought you could become. - Richie Norton

Do we not all agree to call rapid thought and noble impulse by the name of inspiration? - George Eliot

People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid. - Soren Kierkegaard

I always thought that bagels and lox was my soul food, but it turns out it's sushi. - Sara Sheridan

I'm sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I thought you already knew. - Unknown

The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory. - Paul Fix

Every time you think the problem is 'out there,' that very thought is the problem. - Stephen Covey

If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk? - Laurence J. Peter

And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music. - Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche

If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank. - Woody Allen

It is when we notice the dirt that God is most present in us; it is the very sign of His presence. - C S Lewis

Eddie discovered one of his childhood's great truths. Grownups are the real monsters, he thought. - Stephen King

Well over eighty per cent of the human race goes through life without having a single original thought. - H L Mencken

Her virtue was that she said what she thought, her vice that what she thought didn't amount to much. - Peter Ustinov

It's a sign of age if you feel like the morning after the night before and you haven't been anywhere. - Unknown

The man who sees the consistency in things is a wit; the man who sees the inconsistency in things is a humorist. - G K Chesterton

The diamond may adorn royalty, regardless of personal worth; but jewels of thought render even poverty illustrious and sublime. - Gems for the Fireside

We are faced with the paradoxical fact that education has become one of the chief obstacles to intelligence and freedom of thought. - Bertrand Russell

A man’s life is interesting primarily when he has failed – I well know. For it’s a sign that he tried to surpass himself. - Georges Clemenceau

If I had thought about it, I wouldn't have done the experiment. The literature was full of examples that said you can't do this. - Spencer Silver

I felt my lungs inflate with the onrush of scenery - air, mountains, trees, people. I thought, 'This is what it is to be happy.' - Sylvia Plath

Heard about the young deaf boy who used sign language?
One day he told his mother a dirty joke and she washed his hands out with soap. - Red Skelton

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown

Wit is the key, I think, to anybody's heart. Show me the person who doesn't like to laugh and I'll show you a person with a toe tag. - Julia Roberts


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