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Something Witty

A brewhouse that hires thought-provoking employees

Something Witty thanks to Barry McCartney

Business was slow at the bar that day

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Impropriety is the soul of wit. - W Somerset Maugham

Diets are mainly food for thought. - N Wylie Jones

To be thought rich is as good as to be rich. - William M Thackeray

A spotless house is a sign of a misspent life. - Unknown

It was such a lovely day I thought it a pity to get up. - W Somerset Maugham

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. - Steven Wright

A chip on the shoulder is a sure sign of wood higher up. - Brigham Young

If a man's wit be wandering, let him study the mathematics. - Francis Bacon

Eternity is a terrible thought. I mean, where's it going to end? - Tom Stoppard

A happy thought is like a seed that sows positivity for all to reap. - Miriam Muhammad

A pun is the lowest form of humor, unless you thought of it yourself. - Doug Larson

Anyone who says you can't see a thought simply doesn't know art. - Wynetka Ann Reynolds

I always thought the idea of education was to learn to think for yourself. - Robin Williams

A sign of celebrity is that his name is often worth more than his services. - Daniel J. Boorstin

Wit is a sword; it is meant to make people feel the point as well as see it. - G K Chesterton

We're all just ghosts on a wire seeking the prick of an electric thought. - Robert Fanney

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. - Robert Bloch

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words. - Robert Frost

To be satisfied with yourself is a sure sign that your forward motion has stopped. - Unknown

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

I always thought that bagels and lox was my soul food, but it turns out it's sushi. - Sara Sheridan

The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory. - Paul Fix

It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it. - Aristotle

I used to think that one of the great signs of security was the ability to just walk away. - Jack Nicholson

They would not find me changed from him they knew - only more sure of all I thought was true. - Robert Frost

Words make you think a thought. Music makes you feel a feeling. A song makes you feel a thought. - E Y Harburg

Yes, darling, let me cover your face with kisses. On second thought, just let me cover your face. - Groucho Marx

Eddie discovered one of his childhood's great truths. Grownups are the real monsters, he thought. - Stephen King

I never thought of being blind as a disadvantage, and I never thought of being black as a disadvantage. - Stevie Wonder

When I was young, I thought that money was the most important thing in life; now that I am old, I know it is. - Oscar Wilde

She wore far too much rouge last night and not quite enough clothes. That is always a sign of despair in a woman. - Oscar Wilde

Strength doesn't come from what you can do. It comes from overcoming the things you once thought you couldn't. - Unknown

Don't be afraid of being scared. To be afraid is a sign of common sense. Only complete idiots are not afraid of anything. - Carlos Ruiz Zafon

Noise is the most impertinent of all forms of interruption. It is not only an interruption, but also a disruption of thought. - Arthur Schopenhauer

Friendship... is born at the moment when one man says to another "What! You too? I thought that no one but myself..." - C S Lewis

The greatest advantage I know of being thought a wit by the world is that it gives one the greater freedom of playing the fool. - Jonathan Swift

No sign of pleasure greeted the announcement. The mood in the hall was leaden.
My mood was livelier. Fright is livelier than lead. - Gail Carson Levine

The loneliest moment in life is when you have just experienced that which you thought would deliver the ultimate, and it has let you down. - Ravi Zacharias

Then we got into a labyrinth, and, when we thought we were at the end, came out again at the beginning, having still to see as much as ever. - Plato

NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown


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