QuotaBillsWine is bottled poetry. - Robert Louis Stevenson
Beer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee
Payday came and with it beer. - Rudyard Kipling
Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker. - Ogden Nash
Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder. - Addison Mizner
I like my whiskey old and my women young. - Errol Flynn
When wine goes in strange things come out. - Friedrich Schiller
Beer. Now there's a temporary solution. - Homer Simpson
I'm Hybrid. I run on chocolate and wine. - Unknown
Draft Dodger: Someone who avoids beer on tap. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
When life hands you lemons, make whiskey sours. - WC Fields
Everything's better with bacon and red wine. - Dianne Harman
Bladder: The human apparatus that pays the tax on beer - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
If God forbade drinking, would He have made wine so good? - Cardinal Richelieu
I have no special talents. I am only passionately curious. - Albert Einstein
It was 2:00 p.m., too early for wine but not for chocolate. - Andrea Hurst
I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper
Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Wilhelm II
Drinking rum before noon makes you a pirate, not an alcoholic. - Unknown
I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields
One martini is all right, two is too many, three is not enough. - James Thurber
You ought to get out of those wet clothes and into a dry martini. - Mae West
Alcoholic: A person you don't like who drinks as much as you do - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
A raise is like a martini: it elevates the spirit, but only temporarily. - Dan Seligman
In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria. - Ben Franklin
If one glass of wine is good for you, just imagine what a whole bottle could do! - Unknown
Kidney: 1. Midpoint of a child's leg; 2. An organ used to convert beer into urine. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com
I'll bring ya a bottle of champagne. Maybe I'll even bring home a whole maggot. - Archie Bunker
New York champagne - that's a phony label. They don't grow raisins in New York. - Archie Bunker
When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks. - George Burns
I'm like old wine. They don't bring me out very often - but I'm well preserved. - Rose Kennedy
Wine makes a man more pleased with himself. I do not say it makes him more pleasing to others. - Samuel Johnson
I don't drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs. - Robert Downey Jr.
They don't make pizza or beer out of celery. And that is all you need to know about celery. - Bill Murray
An Irishman after trying American beer for the first time: "Put it back in the horse!" - Unknown
He's so full of alcohol, if you put a lighted wick in his mouth he'd burn for three days. - Groucho Marx
I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me. - Hunter S Thompson
Leadership is the special quality which enables people to stand up and pull the rest of us over the horizon. - James L Fisher
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat. - Alex Levine
Special day! Oh, what have I forgotten now? Now, don't panic. Is it Bacon Day? No, that’s crazy talk! - Homer
There has never been, nor will there ever be, anything quite so special as the love between a mother and a son. - Unknown
We have embarked upon the world's largest and longest cocktail party, and every issue imaginable is up for grabs. - Geoffrey Moore
I'd learned some things. I knew you weren't supposed to hold a good wine at the top - the paper bag falls off. - Pat Paulsen
It was so quiet, a reservation kind of quiet, where you can hear somebody drinking whiskey on the rocks three miles away. - Sherman Alexie
Not all chemicals are bad. Without hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry
In those days the best painkiller was ice. It wasn't addictive, and it was particularly effective if you poured some whiskey over it. - George Burns
Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown
Alcohol is not in my vodkabulary. However, I looked it up on whiskeypedia and learned if you drink too much of it, it's likely tequilya. - Unknown
NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. - Unknown
The simple act of opening a bottle of wine has brought more happiness to the human race than all the collective governments in the history of earth. - Jim Harrison