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Some things get touchy 'Down Under'

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Bowel cancer screening in Australia

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Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken

Society is a hospital of incurables. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

An operation of the most extreme daring. - Alfred Jodl

The doctor is to be feared more than the disease. - French Proverb

A little chocolate a day keeps the doctor at bay. - Marcia Carrington

The No. 1 cause of bankruptcies is medical bills. - Michael Moore

Three out of four doctors recommend another doctor. - Graffito

Nursing would be a dream job if there were no doctors. - Gerhard Kocher

A half doctor near is better than a whole one far away. - German Proverb

Why is it we never get our bad medicine in small doses? - Edmund H North

I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards. - Henny Youngman

Ireland is a fruitful mother of genius, but a barren nurse. - Unknown

A nurse will always give us hope, an angel with a stethoscope. - Terri Guillemets

Medicine is only for those who cannot imagine doing anything else. - Luanda Grazette

Save one life, you're a hero. Save 100 lives, you're a nurse. - Unknown

You couldn't tell if she was dressed for an opera or an operation. - Irvin S Cobb

When it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain. - Graham Norton

To array a man's will against his sickness is the supreme art of medicine. - Henry Ward Beecher

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for. - James H. Boren

The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley

Show me a Jewish boy who doesn't go to medical school and I'll show you a lawyer. - Milton Berle

I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. - Henny Youngman

I'm not feeling very well - I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course. - Groucho Marx

I have had my television aerials removed. It is the moral equivalent of a prostate operation. - Malcolm Muggeridge

Constant attention by a good nurse may be just as important as a major operation by a surgeon. - Dag Hammarskjold

A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown

The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer

Many people find themselves with illness as they become successful: higher blood pressure and diabetes. - Zong Qinghou

Kindness and a generous spirit go a long way. And a sense of humor. It's like medicine - very healing. - Max Irons

Most ballet teachers in the United States are terrible. If they were in medicine, everyone would be poisoned. - George Balanchine

In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer

Following his doctor's orders, Nikita (Khrushchev) has cut his drinking in half. He's leaving out the water. - Bob Hope

Despite all our toil and progress, the art of medicine still falls somewhere between trout casting and spook writing. - Ben Hecht

The best doctor in the world is a veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter - he's got to know. - Will Rogers

The public blabbers about preventive medicine, but will neither appreciate nor pay for it. You get paid for what you cure. - Martin H. Fischer

I'm planning to adopt a dog soon. It wasn't my first choice but my Doctor told me I can't have any biologically. - Bill Murray

A doctor who cannot take a good history and a patient who cannot give one are in danger of giving and receiving bad treatment. - Unknown

I've got a great doctor. He gave a guy six months to live. They couldn't pay his bill so he gave him another six months. - Henny Youngman

Once in your life you need a doctor, a lawyer, a policeman, and a preacher... but every day, three times a day, you need a farmer. - Brenda Schaepp


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