Tearable Puns

A pun is the lowest form of wit. - John Dennis

Coincidences are spiritual puns. - G K Chesterton

I believe in God, only I spell it Nature. - Frank Lloyd Wright

A proverb is to speech what salt is to food. - Arabic Proverb

Discretion in speech is more than eloquence. - Sir Francis Bacon

Music is well said to be the speech of angels. - Thomas Carlyle

Synonym Bun: What a thesaurus eats for breakfast - Unknown

Free speech is a great idea, but we're in a war. - Lindsey Graham

You're not a star until they can spell your name in Karachi. - Humphrey Bogart

Retire? I can't spell the word. I'd play in a wheelchair. - Keith Richards

I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way. - Mark Twain

England and America are two countries separated by a common language. - George Bernard Shaw

It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech. - Mark Twain

Music is the only language in which you cannot say a mean or sarcastic thing. - John Erskine

If we are a country committed to free speech, then why do we have phone bills? - Steven Wright

Three problems we have: lack of boundaries, insufficient language, incompletions. - Thomas Leonard

The most beautiful words in the English language are "cheque enclosed". - Dorothy Parker

A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the first word you thought of. - Burt Bacharach

Actions, looks, words and steps form the alphabet by which you may spell character. - Johann Kasper Lavater

The language of the law must not be foreign to the ears of those who are to obey it. - Learned hand

Nostalgia is like a grammar lesson: you find the present tense, but the past perfect. - Owens L. Pomeroy

We really have everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language. - Oscar Wilde

Speak when you're angry and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret. - L.J. Peter

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. - Jimmy Durante

Great literature is simply language charged with meaning to the utmost possible degree. - Ezra Pound

A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous. - Ingrid Bergman

At no time is freedom of speech more precious than when a man hits his thumb with a hammer. - Marshall Lumsden

I never made a mistake in grammar but once in my life, and as soon as I done it. I seen it. - Carl Sandburg

It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water. - Franklin P. Jones

The names of colors are at the edge, between where language fails and where it's at its most powerful. - A.S. Byatt

Violence of language leads to violence of action. Angry men seldom fight if their tongues do not lead the fray. - Charles V Roman

Already, companies that speak in the language of the pitch, the dog-and-pony show, are no longer speaking to anyone. - Unknown

He respects Owl, because you can't help respecting anybody who can spell TUESDAY, even if he doesn't spell it right. - A. A. Milne

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

The wise man is but a clever infant, spelling letters from a hieroglyphical prophetic book, the lexicon of which lies in eternity. - Thomas Carlyle

If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart. - Nelson Mandela

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? - George Carlin

I remain convinced that obstinate addiction to ordinary language in our private thoughts is one of the main obstacles to progress in philosophy. - Bertrand Russell

No matter how bad things are, they can always be worse. So what if my stroke left me with a speech impediment? Moses had one, and he did all right. - Kirk Douglas

Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they translate into their own language and forthwith it is something entirely different. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe