Tearable Puns

Silence is safer than speech. - Epictetus

Humor is a universal language. - Joel Goodman

A pun is the lowest form of wit. - John Dennis

Coincidences are spiritual puns. - G K Chesterton

Is there another word for synonym? - George Carlin

What's another word for thesaurus? - Steven Wright

Speech is the small change of silence. - George Meredith

I believe in God, only I spell it Nature. - Frank Lloyd Wright

Discretion in speech is more than eloquence. - Francis Bacon

Good sayings are like pearls strung together. - Chinese Proverb

Speech was given to man to disguise his thoughts. - Charles de Talleyrand

Life is a foreign language; all men mispronounce it. - Christopher Morley

Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing. - Robert Benchley

Real programmers can write assembly code in any language. - Larry Wall

A sage thing is timely silence, and better than any speech. - Plutarch

Heifer cow is better than none, but this is no time for puns. - Groucho Marx

We are all here for a spell; get all the good laughs you can. - Will Rogers

We need a president who's fluent in at least one language. - Buck Henry

I respect a man who knows how to spell a word more than one way. - Mark Twain

You're not a star until they can spell your name in Karachi. - Humphrey Bogart

Changes in language often reflect the changing values of a culture. - Ravi Zacharias

Laughter is, after speech, the chief thing that holds society together. - Max Eastman

Out of suffering comes creativity. You cannot spell painting without pain. - John Lithgow

Three problems we have: lack of boundaries, insufficient language, incompletions. - Thomas Leonard

The most beautiful words in the English language are "cheque enclosed". - Dorothy Parker

If you cannot understand me in my speech, how can you understand me in my silence? - Ravi Zacharias

Language: The blood of the soul into which thoughts run, and out of which they grow - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Nostalgia is like a grammar lesson: you find the present tense, but the past perfect. - Owens L. Pomeroy

Speak when you're angry and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret. - L.J. Peter

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. - Jimmy Durante

Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection. - Yakov Smirnoff

Officialese: A government language where you can understand the words, but not the sentences - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Never lose an opportunity of seeing anything beautiful, for beauty is God's handwriting. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

If the English language made any sense, 'lackadaisical' would have something to do with a shortage of flowers. - Doug Larson

The ability to speak several languages is an asset, but the ability to keep your mouth shut in any language is priceless. - Unknown

Charity, good behaviour, amiable speech, unselfishness - these by the chief sage have been declared the elements of popularity. - Burmese Proverb

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are,
"I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

Always try to use the language so as to make quite clear what you mean and make sure your sentence couldn't mean anything else. - C S Lewis

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? - George Carlin

Wise sayings are not only for ornament, but for action and business, having a point or edge, whereby knots in business are pierced and discovered. - Francis Bacon