#1 humor site on the 'net

Texas Lampshades

Lighting the way in a home Down South

Texas Lampshades thanks to Keith Blake

This way, Bubba doesn't have to hunt for the light switch at home

Y’all come over and see a few good lightbulbs

QuotaBills
Light tomorrow with today. - Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Texas is as odd as it is vast. - Henry Rollins

What is to give light must endure burning. - Viktor Frankl

A true star shines her light on others. Be a star. - Chloe Pink

Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq. - Fran Lebowitz

What's done in the dark will be paraded in the light. - Charles Wynn

Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. - Kahlil Gibran

In plain Texas talk, it's 'do the right thing'. - Ross Perot

Deer hunting would be fine sport, if only the deer had guns. - W S Gilbert

I'm super laid back. I'm from Texas. I love my family. - Selena Gomez

The folks in Mississippi are saying, 'Thank God for Texas.' - Kinky Friedman

Texas is now a cornerstone of the electoral college for Republicans. - Ed Gillespie

If we shouldn't eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge? - Unknown

Those who hammer their guns into plows will plow for those who do not. - Thomas Jefferson

The reappearance of the light is the same as the survival of the soul. - Victor Hugo

If I could light my own farts I could fly to the moon or at least Uranus. - Robin Williams

Be enthusiastic as a leader. You can't light a fire with a wet match. - Unknown

Your heaviest artillery will be your will to live. Keep that big gun going. - Norman Cousins

You can get a lot farther with a kind word and a gun than a kind word alone. - Al Capone

The light you see at the end of the tunnel is the front of an oncoming train. - David Lee Roth

A beautiful diamond asks to be viewed from many angles, shining in the light. - Clare Josa

How can you look at the Texas legislature and still believe in intelligent design? - Kinky Friedman

If you have a gun you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank you can rob everyone. - Unknown

I'm a Catholic deer hunter. I am happy to be clinging to my guns and my religion. - Paul Ryan

No matter what you're going through, there's a light at the end of the tunnel. - Demi Lovato

Death is not extinguishing the light; it is putting out the lamp because dawn has come. - Rabindranath Tagore

You get the best effort from others not by lighting a fire beneath them, but by building a fire within. - Bob Nelson

The mind of a bigot is like the pupil of the eye. The more light you shine on it, the more it will contract. - Oliver Wendell Homes, Jr.

I exercise at least five times a week with stretching, Pilates, push-ups, planks, sit-ups, squats and light weights. - Reba McEntire

We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light. - Plato

It is impossible to travel faster than the speed of light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off. - Woody Allen

Singing sad songs often has a way of healing a situation. It gets the hurt out in the open into the light, out of the darkness. - Reba McEntire

Baseball happens to be a game of cumulative tension but football, basketball and hockey are played with hand grenades and machine guns. - John Leonard

Distinguished ancestors shed a powerful light on their descendants, and forbid the concealment either of their merits or of their demerits. - Gaius S. Crispus

We went down into the silent garden. Dawn is the time when nothing breathes, the hour of silence. Everything is transfixed, only the light moves. - Leonora Carrington

To be a star, you must shine your own light, follow your path, and don't worry about the darkness, for that is when the stars shine brightest. - Joe-kster

The sky in Texas is the most amazing sky in the whole country, I think, like you can see more sky in Texas than you can see anywhere else in the world. - dina Menzel

The pleasure of jogging and running is rather like that of wearing a fur coat in Texas in August: the true joy comes in being able to take the damn thing off. - Joseph Epstein

If you want to surf, move to Hawaii. If you like to shop, move to New York. If you like acting and Hollywood, move to California. But if you like college football, move to Texas. - Ricky Williams

Every time you do a good deed, you shine the light a little farther into the dark. And the thing is, when you're gone, that light is going to keep shining on, pushing the shadows back. - Charles de Lint


Education Standstill

Pool Cleaner

Stool There

Soldier Tribute

It Was That Close

Messy Temper Tantrum

Big Tame Hunter

Exactly Enough Space

Coca Cola Twins

Sidetracked Baby

Breakthrough Blessings

Pauper's Graveside Service

Are You Ready?

Pulling The Wool Over Your Eyes

Girlfriends

How To Weigh Yourself Correctly

Bungee Cord Suspenders

Clogged Drain

Lum-Purr-Jack

Cookie King

Time Travel

How To Hide Candy

Little Shaver

T-Rex Breakthrough