#1 humor site on the 'net

Texas Wheelchair

Only a power wheelchair will do for a Texan

Texas Wheelchair thanks to Keith Blake

Wheelchair rides Down South

QuotaBills
Olfactory: Texas petroleum refinery - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

The people of Texas want us to secede! - William Clements

In politics an absurdity is not a handicap. - Napoleon Bonaparte

Parts of Texas look like Kansas with a goiter. - Unknown

I never saw anything funnier than Texas politics. - Molly Ivins

Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq. - Fran Lebowitz

In plain Texas talk, it's 'do the right thing'. - Ross Perot

Don't handicap your children by making their lives easy. - Robert H. Heinlein

The wheelchair symbolizes disability in a way a cane does not. - Annette Funicello

The world worries about disability more than disabled people do. - Warwick Davis

Retire? I can't spell the word. I'd play in a wheelchair. - Keith Richards

The folks in Mississippi are saying, 'Thank God for Texas.' - Kinky Friedman

Texas is now a cornerstone of the electoral college for Republicans. - Ed Gillespie

Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped. - L. Ron Hubbard

You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans. - George Carlin

We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas. - Red Skelton

Slaves who are disabled from working shall be provided for by their masters. - Unknown

News events are like Texas weather. If you don't like it, wait a minute. - Jessica Savitch

You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. - Jeff Foxworthy

The landscape of Texas is in all my work. It's that light; it's that sky. - Robert Wilson

Texas has yet to learn submission to any oppression, come from what source it may. - Sam Houston

How can you look at the Texas legislature and still believe in intelligent design? - Kinky Friedman

Being from Texas, I would say I favor a pair of jeans you can wear some boots with. - Jensen Ackles

I can't disguise myself with a wig and dark glasses - the wheelchair gives me away. - Stephen Hawking

If a man's from Texas, he'll tell you. If he's not, why embarrass him by asking? - John Gunther

Texas could exist without the United States but the United States cannot exist without Texas. - Sam Houston

The definition of insanity in Texas is so insane that it's impossible to be insane in Texas. - Malcolm McDowell

I'm from Texas, and one of the reasons I like Texas is because there's no one in control. - Willie Nelson

Most of my memories of Texas are of mosquitoes, watermelons, crickets, and my brother teasing me. - Robin Wright

Good thing we've still got politics in Texas - finest form of free entertainment ever invented. - Molly Ivins

Bond reflected that good Americans were fine people and that most of them seemed to come from Texas. - Ian Fleming

I don't think I'm a celebrity. I'm just a guy from east Texas who loves cars and airplanes. - Carroll Shelby

When I make a vow to God, then I would suggest to you that's even stronger than a handshake in Texas. - Rick Perry

You might be a redneck if your wheelbarrow breaks and it takes four relatives to figure out how to fix it. - Jeff Foxworthy

You can take the girl out of Texas but not the Texas out of the girl and ultimately not the girl out of Texas. - Janine Turner

My disability exists not because I use a wheelchair, but because the broader environment isn't accessible. - Stella Young

Inherited wealth is a big handicap to happiness. It is as certain death to ambition as cocaine is to morality. - William K Vanderbilt

The reason gas prices are so high is because the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma and all the dipsticks are in Washington. - Yakov Smirnoff

You can imagine me as a kid growing up in redneck Texas with ballet shoes, tucking the violin under my arm. I had to fight my way up. - Patrick Swayze

Mancation: A man's vacation. Generally includes lots of beer, a Redneck grill, slabs of meat for cooking and a sack of fireworks. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com


LippoPotumus

Haircut For Staff Meetings

Wolf Mode

Undertaker Bike

Throwaway Sport Paper

Pacman Skeleton

Vatican City's New Breakfast Special

Flying Cathedral Excuse

Day At The Beach

John The Baptist Souvenirs

Amish Prom Limo

Wishy-Washy Church

'Cover Girl' Magazine

One At A Time

Shofar So Good

Temple Car

Closing Time

Wine Glass Lanyard

Awning Truck Advertising

Plugged In

Org Chart - Simplified Version

Extreme Value

Instant Acrophobia

How To Hire Engineers