The Five Second Rule

Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman - Christopher Walken

Germ: A little bug with influence - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Society is a hospital of incurables. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

No medicine cures what happiness cannot. - Gabriel G Marquez

Surgery is the cry of defeat in medicine. - Martin H. Fischer

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. - Benjamin Franklin

The best doctor gives the least medicines. - Benjamin Franklin

Growth itself contains the germ of happiness. - Pearl S. Buck

Germs: The only things kids will share freely - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Panic plays no part in the training of a nurse. - Elizabeth Kenny

I went to a massage parlor. It was self service. - Rodney Dangerfield

The No. 1 cause of bankruptcies is medical bills. - Michael Moore

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. - Erma Bombeck

The greatest healing therapy is friendship and love. - Hubert H Humphrey

Chiropractor: A Doctor who works his fingers to the bone - yours - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

A smart mother makes often a better diagnosis than a poor doctor. - August Bier

My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August. - Ronnie Shakes

Medicine is only for those who cannot imagine doing anything else. - Luanda Grazette

I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body. - Winston Bennett

Operation: A surgical job taking minutes to do and years to describe - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I do believe that laughter is the best medicine - it cures everything. - Radhika Apte

Faith and knowledge lean largely upon each other in the practice of medicine. - Peter Mere Latham

I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for. - James H. Boren

The only medicine for suffering, crime, and all the other woes of mankind, is wisdom. - Thomas Huxley

Co-Operation: An exchange between a woman and a man in which she coos and he operates - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

If you get a diagnosis, get on a therapy, keep a good attitude and keep your sense of humor. - Teri Garr

The yoga mat is a good place to turn when talk therapy and antidepressants aren't enough. - Amy Weintraub

Most religious people accept medicine as a gift from God and reap the benefits of both realms. - Caroline Fraser

A man has reached middle age when he is warned to slow down by his doctor instead of the police. - Unknown

The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient, whilst Mother Nature takes care of the cure. - Voltaire

The only equipment lack in the modern hospital? Somebody to meet you at the entrance with a handshake! - Martin H. Fischer

Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor. - Abe Lemons

In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding equals ten dollars' worth of medical science. - Martin H. Fischer

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot. - Jay Leno

I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away. - George Carlin

The Pentagon still has not given a name to the Iraqi war. Somehow 'Operation Re-elect Bush' doesn't seem to be popular. - Jay Leno

I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. - Rodney Dangerfield

I see God in every human being. When I wash the leper's wounds, I feel I am nursing the Lord himself. Is it not a beautiful experience? - Mother Teresa

A man who cannot work without his hypodermic needle is a poor doctor. The amount of narcotic you use is inversely proportional to your skill. - Martin H. Fischer

There are three subjects on which the knowledge of the medical profession in general is woefully weak; they are manners, morals, and medicine. - Gerald F Lieberman