Tons Of Anarchy

Diet Planner: A fast talker. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

Irony is the hygiene of the mind. - Elizabeth Bibesco

Diets are mainly food for thought. - N Wylie Jones

My diet is like Atkins, but with the carbs. - BJ Penn

Smoking cures weight problems... eventually. - Steven Wright

Happiness is equilibrium. Shift your weight. - Tom Stoppard

Diets, like clothes, should be tailored to you. - Joan Rivers

I'm not gaining weight. I'm living large. - Unknown

My weight is perfect for my height - which varies. - Unknown

I've probably tried every fad diet in the world. - Jenna Ushkowitz

A balanced diet is a Cracker Jack cookie in each hand. - Joe-kster

I'm just one stomach flu away from my goal weight. - The Devil Wears Prada

Harlez Vous Francais?: Can you drive a French motorcycle? - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

An ounce of practice is worth more than tons of preaching. - Mahatma Gandhi

From even the greatest of horrors, irony is seldom absent. - H P Lovecraft

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper

The first couple of days on the detox diet aren't pleasant. - Carol Vorderman

Your diet is a bank account. Good food choices are good investments. - Bethenny Frankel

Irony became the head that bit its tail and then there is no way out. - Alejandro G Inarritu

I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks. - Totie Fields

I'm an emotional eater. When I get upset, my diet goes out the window. - Kelly Osbourne

Irony is the form of paradox. Paradox is what is good and great at the same time. - Karl W F Schlegel

Humor is everywhere in that there's irony in just about anything a human does. - Bill Nye

Most motorcycle problems are caused by the nut that connects the handlebars to the saddle. - Unknown

On behalf of every man looking out for every girl, you are the God and weight of her world. - John Mayer

Catching a yellow-jacket in your shirt at seventy miles per hour can double your vocabulary. - Unknown

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks. - Joe E Lewis

My wife is on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight, but she can sure climb a tree. - Henny Youngman

A healthy male adult bore consumes each year one and a half times his own weight in other people's patience. - John Updike

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight. - Unknown

Dieting is not a sprint, it's a marathon. If you celebrate the small victories, you will eventually win the war. - Ian K Smith

A dark-chocolate truffle melts in my mouth, and I forget about everything else... even the fact that I'm on a diet. - Barbara Brooke

People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs. - Unknown

If you maintain a healthy diet, or at least are smart about your food choices, you'll still see the pounds come off. - Misty May-Treanor

The main business of a lawyer is to take the romance, the mystery, the irony, the ambiguity out of everything he touches. - Antonin Scalia

Calories: 1. Weight lifters; 2. Tiny creatures that live in your closet and sew your clothes a little bit tighter every night. - Daffynitions joe-ks.com

I'm off the diet, but not the treadmill. I speak as someone who's attempted to lose weight and get fit thrice before in my life. - Ronnie Screwvala

He had a sense of irony that ruled his life, made it impossible for him to use his considerable brains in any kind of serious job. Kind of like me. - Neal Stephenson

People think that at the top there isn't much room. They tend to think of it as an Everest. My message is that there is tons of room at the top. - Margaret Thatcher