Tons Of Anarchy

Diets are mainly food for thought. - N Wylie Jones

My diet is like Atkins, but with the carbs. - BJ Penn

Smoking cures weight problems... eventually. - Steven Wright

Tears at times have all the weight of speech. - Ovid

I'm not gaining weight. I'm living large. - Unknown

My weight is perfect for my height - which varies. - Unknown

Diets are for those who are thick and tired of it. - Unknown

Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow you may diet. - Unknown

A balanced diet is a Cracker Jack cookie in each hand. - Joe-kster

Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons. - Unknown

The cardiologist's diet: - If it tastes good, spit it out. - Unknown

I don't diet, I just don't eat as much as I'd like to. - Linda Evangelista

Whatsoever was the father of a disease, an ill diet was the mother. - George Herbert

My metabolism stinks. I can gain weight just listening to dinner music. - Ron Dentinger

One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love. - Sophocles

I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks. - Totie Fields

No disease that can be treated by diet should be treated by any other means. - Maimonides

You can't lose weight by talking about it. You have to keep your mouth shut. - Old Farmer's Almanac

Keep your bike in good repair: motorcycle boots are not comfortable for walking. - Unknown

The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook. - Julia Child

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

Humor is everywhere in that there's irony in just about anything a human does. - Bill Nye

Humor brings insight and tolerance. Irony brings a deeper and less friendly understanding. - Agnes Repplier

Catching a yellow-jacket in your shirt at seventy miles per hour can double your vocabulary. - Unknown

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks. - Joe E Lewis

I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond. - Mae West

I'm on a strict liquid diet: Mimosas for breakfast, Margaritas for lunch, Martinis for dinner. - Unknown

The irony of the matter is that the future generations do not have a vote. In effect, we hold their proxy. - Charles J Hitch

Nobody can fail to lose weight in the jungle, unless they've got a secret stash of pork pies somewhere. - Colin Baker

I love to go to a movie, get a Diet Coke and a barrel of popcorn, and sit there with my kids and watch a film. - William Shatner

A healthy male adult bore consumes each year one and a half times his own weight in other people's patience. - John Updike

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight. - Unknown

The first requisite of a good citizen in this republic of ours is that he shall be able and willing to pull his weight. - Theodore Roosevelt

A dark-chocolate truffle melts in my mouth, and I forget about everything else... even the fact that I'm on a diet. - Barbara Brooke

People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs. - Unknown

Confidence is beautiful, no matter your size, no matter your weight. Be confident in who you are and you'll be beautiful. - Unknown

A taste for irony has kept more hearts from breaking than a sense of humor, for it takes irony to appreciate the joke which is on oneself. - Jessamyn West

My life is the land, the dogs, the car, the motorcycle, the pond, the canoe, going to pick up mail. It's just a rural retreat that I enjoy. - Burt Shavitz

The best way to lose weight is to close your mouth - something very difficult for a politician. Or watch your food - just watch it, don't eat it. - Edward I Kock