Vodka Diet

Wine is bottled poetry. - Robert Louis Stevenson

Beer speaks. People mumble. - Tony McGee

Wine is my favorite 4 letter word. - Unknown

When the wine is in, the wit is out. - English Proverb

Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker. - Ogden Nash

Religions change; beer and wine remain. - Hervey Allen

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder. - Unknown

When wine goes in strange things come out. - Friedrich Schiller

A balanced diet is chocolate in both hands. - Unknown

Wine improves with age. I improve with wine. - Unknown

I'm Hybrid. I run on chocolate and wine. - Unknown

Good friends, like wine, get better with age. - Unknown

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. - George Carlin

Talking to you is like casting pearls into wine. - Archie Bunker

Everything's better with bacon and red wine. - Dianne Harman

There was a sound in their voices which suggested rum. - Robert Louis Sevenson

A balanced diet is a Cracker Jack cookie in each hand. - Joe-kster

Drown in a vat of whiskey? Oh death, where is thy sting? - WC Fields

Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel, if you will. - Homer Simpson

Some call it Cocktail Hour. To me, it's a support group. - Unknown

I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. - Tommy Cooper

I'm only a beer teetotaller, not a champagne teetotaller. - George Bernard Shaw

I never drank anything stronger than beer before I was twelve. - WC Fields

Memorial services are the cocktail parties of the geriatric set. - Ralph Richardson

I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. - Winston Churchill

Give me a woman who truly loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Willhelm II

I don't diet, I just don't eat as much as I'd like to. - Linda Evangelista

Whatsoever was the father of a disease, an ill diet was the mother. - George Herbert

Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. - Benjamin Franklin

We are all mortal until the first kiss and the second glass of wine. - Eduardo Galeano

I'll have a "Cafe Mocha Vodka Valium Latte" to go, please. - Unknown

To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems. - Homer Simpson

I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks. - Totie Fields

A bottle of wine contains more philosophy than all the books in the world. - Louis Pasteur

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman. - Jonathan Swift

Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie. - Jim Davis

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. - P.J. O'Rourke

When Jack Benny has a party, you not only bring your own scotch, you bring your own rocks. - George Burns

My heart says chocolate and wine but my jeans say, for the love of God women, eat a salad. - Unknown

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks. - Joe E Lewis

Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine. - Fran Lebowitz

I'm making wine at home, but I'm making it out of raisins so it will be aged automatically. - Steven Wright

My wife is on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost any weight, but she can sure climb a tree. - Henny Youngman

I love to go to a movie, get a Diet Coke and a barrel of popcorn, and sit there with my kids and watch a film. - William Shatner

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster. - Joe E. Lewis

Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women and Irish Whiskey. The other ten percent I'll probably waste. - Tug McGraw

The Bible's full of wine. God ain't got nothing against a little drink to celebrate His Son's birthday with. - Archie Bunker

A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money. Plus, if you let fruit rot, it turns into wine; something Brussels Sprouts never do. - P.J. O'Rourke

Irish whiskey was first developed for its medicinal benefits. It's just lucky for the rest of us that the Irish are such a sickly bunch. - Unknown

When I have an idea, I turn down the flame, as if it were a little alcohol stove, as low as it will go. Then it explodes and that is my idea. - Ernest Hemingway